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I’m Officiating The Birth

RizzutoShow Blog 22

A 21-YEAR-OLD CHUGGED A SIX-PACK OF STOLEN BEER IN A TARGET DRESSING ROOM – SacBee

hope this girl wasn’t TURNING 21 the day this happened. Because it would officially be the saddest 21st birthday binge ever. 21-year-old Elysia Johnson went to a Target near Stockton, California on Saturday at around 3:30 in the afternoon and did some shopping. Then she went to the grocery section, grabbed a six-pack of beer, took it to one of the dressing rooms, and started POUNDING them. She was in the dressing room for over an hour and drank six Stellas. Then she tried to walk out of the store with more than $200 worth of stuff in her cart. A security guard stopped her and called the cops. She’s facing charges for shoplifting petty theft, battery, and resisting arrest. I guess she can hold her alcohol, because it doesn’t look like they got her for being drunk in public.

Budweiser Meats Are Coming To Grocery Stores, So Summer Barbecues Just Got A Lot More Exciting – Delish

Will “Peep on a Perch” Be the Easter Version of “Elf on a Shelf”? – Delish

“Milk Coke” Is Surprisingly Popular . . . Yes, Milk Mixed with Coca-Cola – Delish

a community theater actor gets into a police chase because he doesn’t want to miss his performance – WNEP

A Guy’s GPS Led Him to a Border Crossing with Ten Pounds of Meth in His Car – CTVnews

Officers find would-be burglar trapped inside grease vent of Chinese food restaurant in San Lorenzo – ABC7News

A Store Owner Beats Up a Robber with a Knife – LiveLeak

Man drives to Google to Confront them after his video is removed – DailyMail

Woman charged with arson after she tried to kill bed bugs with lighter – WHEC

Pennsylvania man named Sober arrested for drunken driving – WQAD

Francis Howell employee under investigation for inappropriate contact with student – Fox2Now

Shots fired into daycare where employees are accused of abusing kids, police say – KMOV

Lawmakers send Gov. J.B. Pritzker bill to raise smoking and vaping age to 21 – ChicagoTribune

Local Health Department advises to stop using Claire’s makeup following asbestos concerns – KMOV

For MU’s George Smith, there’s more to life than winning the Nobel Prize – ColumbiaMissourian

Reputed Gambino crime boss shot and killed outside home in New York – WPTV

A US court affirms your right to flip the bird to cops – QZ

Cheese Tastes Bet When Exposed to ’90s Hip-Hop? – SwissInfo

Woman arrested for assaulting Burger King employees over order allegedly caused similar disturbance weeks later – WXYZ

German Tax Officials Seize a Family’s Dog . . . Then Sell It on eBay – NYPost

Your Dog’s Personality Changes Over Time . . . and He Becomes More Like You – DailyMail

Could Eating Your Boogers Boost Your Immune System? – DailyMail

BIRTHDAYS

Kobayashi is 41.  Hot dog-eating fiend.

Eva Longoria is 44.  

Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas is 44.

Mark Hoppus of Blink 182 is 47.

Mark McGrath is 51

Bret Michaels is 56

Fabio is 60

Dee Snider is 64.  Twisted Sister.  

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 86.  Supreme Court Justice.

Flavor Flav is 60.  Public Enemy legend.

John Boyega is 27.  Finn in the new “Star Wars” movies.

Mia Hamm is 47

Billy Corgan is 52.  Smashing Pumpkins 

Rob Lowe is 55.

Gary Sinise is 64

Kurt Russell is 68.   Today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY….he is the man behind Love Connection as well as about 70 other incredible game shows.  He’ll be right back in 2 and 2….Chuck Woolery is 78 years young.

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PORNO BIRTHDAY

LANA LOPEZ

Today’s birthday girl has been stretch and twisted more times than a pretzel at Annie Anne’s in 51 fine films including:

  • After School Sextivities
  • Foot Solo Goodness
  • Hardworking Hotties Tied, Gagged, and Helpless
  • Merry Xmas:  You’re Bound & Gagged!
  • Topless Tickle Games
  • Unemployment Benefits
  • And who could forget…her unforgettable role in….Hey! Does This Chloroform Smell Funny To You?

LANA LOPEZ IS 37 YEARS OLD

The Blues were shut out last night in Ottawa against the Senators picking up their 3rd straight loss.  Jake Allen got the start and let in one goal and then an empty netter sealed Ottawas 2-0 win.  The Blues are off today but then have back to back games this weekend playing Pittsburgh at noon on Saturday and then taking on Buffalo on Sunday at 4PM. 

So last week, ESPN put out a list of their TOP 100 players in baseball.  The Cardinals had a pretty decent showing.  Paul Goldschmidt fell at 13, Matt Carpenter at 40, Miles Mikolas at 76, and Marcell Ozuna at 96.  This week, ESPN put out a list of the most likely player from each MLB team to make the list next.  And for the Cardinals…it was pitcher Jack Flaherty.  ESPN says that he has Cy Young potential.  They even went as far as saying that he should not only make the Top 100 soon, but he should easily make the Top 50.  The Cardinals continue their Spring Training with a game against the Astros tonight.  No Flaherty on the mound but we will see Adam Wainwright make the start. 

So now that the official announcement has happened we have a little more detail on the upcoming rule changes in baseball.  Some of the rules happen now, others will wait to go into effect next year, including requiring that pitchers face a minimum of three batters before being taken out of a game. That new rule, as well as a regular-season roster expansion to 26 players will go into effect in the 2020 season. Changes that will go into effect this coming season include; a single trade deadline on July 31st, getting rid of August trades; an All-Star Game election day in which fans will vote online for starters and the top three vote-getters will take part in a one-day election; and a million-dollar bonus for the Home Run Derby winner.

Mizzou all but officially ended their 2018-2019 basketball season after losing to Auburn yesterday afternoon in the SEC tournament.  With an overall record of 15-17 its tough to see them playing anywhere post season.  SLU won their A-10 game yesterday.  They now will take on Dayton at 7:30PM.  And Illinois lost their game against Iowa, which means they are pretty much all but done with basketball for the year as well. 

Remember we few weeks back when Duke phenom Zion Williamson blew out his show and sprained his knee?  Well he made his return last night…and did so in grand fashion.  Dude went 13 for 13 and scored 29 points in his return as Duke beat Syracuse 84-72.  The freshman tied the ACC record for most makes without a miss. 

Here’s something wild…Jeanie Buss, the owner of the LA Lakers, actually contemplated making a trade that involved LeBron James.  Now, contemplated might be a stretch, but there were discussions about a LeBron trade for a hot second.  Those discussions were laughed at, but they were brought up.  The Lakers are 11th in the West and their playoff chances aren’t looking great.  Some analysts say that the reason the trade was quickly brought up, and then squashed, was because after talking to some other teams, the Lakers realized, at this current point, trading LeBron wouldn’t get them very much in return. 

Chad Ochocinco, who is now back to going by his real name Chad Johnson, is lacing up his cleats and heading back onto the field.  Only this time…it’s a different field.  Earlier this week it was announced that Chad Johnson, yes THE former NFLer Chad Johnson, signed a deal with Boca Raton FC, a semi-pro soccer team part of the United Premier Soccer League, and will get the chance to play tomorrow.  For now, this is not a publicity stunt.  It looks like they are foreal.  This isn’t Johnson’s first try to get into soccer.  Back in 2011 – his last season in the NFL – he had a 4 day try out with Sporting KC.  It didn’t lead to him signing with the team, but…looks like he’s really making a go of this. 

This weekend, there’s a race at Auto Club Speedway in California.  The Auto Club 400 will take place and race time is schedule for 2:30PM on Sunday.

And finally… earlier this week U.S. cyclist Kelly Catlin, who won a team silver medal at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio, was found dead at her California home on Friday.  He dad said cause of death was a suicide. She was 23. Catlin was part of the U.S. women’s pursuit team that won silver in Rio.

Concert Calendar

UPCOMING
Apr 23
Apr 24