Crap on Celebrities, News, Sports Report

Home » Rizzuto Show » News » There’s An Ostrich In Affton!

There’s An Ostrich In Affton!

RizzutoShow Blog 25

Man falls 60 feet while trying to pee off B.C. mountain – VancouverIsAwesome

An Amish Guy Steals a Car, Crashes It, Then Goes Drinking – PennLive

Burglars Who Would Make Terrible Spies Fail at Breaking Into a Spy Shop – News-JournalOnline

Intoxicated man takes the wheel and flees scene after his 12-year-old chauffeur rear-ends other car in South Dundas – NationValleyNews

A Guy Goes the Wrong Way on the Highway Because “It Was Faster” – Fox59

Truck’s ‘Califas’ license plate draws unwanted attention from Moorpark deputy – ABC7

Florida man arrested after hiding meth in container of ‘hot, fresh potato wedges’ – FoxNews

A Drunk Guy Swallowed His Keys . . . and Needed Surgery to Get Them Out – DailyMail

A Guy Says the Cocaine on His Nose Isn’t His – TheSmokingGun

Search on for burglary suspect caught on surveillance camera wearing ‘Let’s GO Blues’ shirt – KMOV

No arrests reported for any unruly Blues fans in St. Louis after Stanley Cup win – Fox2Now

Multiple animals back in enclosures after escaping at Grant’s Farm – Fox2Now

They were giving away 300 free Kentucky Kingdom passes. Then, the crowd got ugly. – Courier-Journal

Principal accused of plagiarizing Ashton Kutcher speech is suspended – NYPost

Gas prices could fall below $2 for many Americans – CNN

Have You Ever Been in a Physical Fight? – YouGov

A City’s New Anti-Bullying Law Will Fine Parents If Their Kid Bullies Someone – WisconsinRapidsTribute

Is It Okay to Register for Housewarming Gifts? A Third of Us Say Yes – YouGov

Man sues cryonics company to get his father’s head back – NYPost

CUBA GOODING JR. was accused of groping a woman at a bar Sunday, and yesterday he was formally charged with one count each of forcibly touching and sexual abuse in the third degree. He insisted that there’s video evidence that will clear him of the allegations.  However, TMZ got their hands on some surveillance video and it looks like Cuba definitely touched the thigh of his accuser . . . but the breast groping is debatable. It seems weird, since it’s in front of his girlfriend.  And it’s hard to tell if he’s pulling her hand up to kiss it or if she’s pushing his hand away.  So the TONE of their encounter is definitely hazy.  It also doesn’t appear that the accuser was arguing with him.  Cuba was sitting alone when his girlfriend stumbles over to him, followed by the other woman. And now there are 2…because a second woman is accusing him of groping her. This second incident occurred more than a decade ago and she came forward after reading that another woman came forward. He did surrendered to police yesterday around 11am.  He was arrested and charged with “forcible touching.” When his lawyer was told that the new allegations date back to more than 10 years ago, he said, “Good luck to her” then mentioned the two-year statute of limitations on misdemeanor charges. 

On Tuesday’s episode of RuPaul’s new talk show, RuPaul, Paula Abdul told a story again about surviving a plane crash during her Under My Spell Tour, which ran from 1991-92. There is no record of this at all…anywhere. A search of Nexis archives (LexisNexis helps uncover the information that commercial organizations, government agencies and nonprofits need to get a complete picture of individuals, businesses and assets with industry-leading data and analytic solutions) no news stories from the ‘90s about Abdul, who was at one point a bonafide superstar, surviving a plane crash (or even being in a plane that required an emergency landing). Same on a search of Google Books.  She has consistently told this story to explain the chronic pain that led to surgeries and use of pain killers. Oddly, in 2005 she said “No drug ever worked for me,” in 2009 she said, “For the first time in 12 years …she’s no longer dependent on medication”. Also, none of the plane crashes in the National Transportation Safety Board’s database remotely fits Abdul’s description.  In the past Paula said the plane crash happened between the St. Louis and Denver stops on the tour. A St. Louis Post-Dispatch story from June 21, 1992, placed the date of her St. Louis performance at June 19, 1992, Abdul’s 30th birthday. An Entertainment Weekly report about the summer of 1992’s tours mentioned a June 22 Abdul concert in Englewood, Colorado, which is six miles outside of Denver. She says   “Thirty-five minutes into the air leaving St. Louis, going to Denver, an engine blew up, right wing caught on fire at the other end, and crash landed in flames in a cornfield,”   “The whole plane was in flames,”  Where the plane landed is another odd matter.   She’s said that the plane landed in a cornfield in Iowa. But at its closest point, Iowa is about 200 miles away from St. Louis and well north of the straight shot from that city to Denver.  Abdul confused several dates. She said that the crash happened when she was “on tour at the end of ’93. It was on my birthday, too.”  But, the Under My Spell tour wrapped in 1992, and Abdul’s birthday is June 19. She also said that she was 27 at the time…she would have been 31 at the end of 1993. She said she had bad paralysis and that’s when she disappeared for 7 years.  But that’s not quite true, either. She resumed her Under My Spell tour for a few more months. She released another album in 1995, Head Over Heels, which she promoted. That album flopped, and then she disappeared for about seven years.  So how did a big time pop star at the time go down in flames, get treated at a hospital with out a single word getting out?   “That’s something I quietly made go away—no paparazzi or tabloid stuff,” she told VH1 in 2008. “I took care of that. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or to count me out.”  Odder still is that the National Transportation Safety Board’s accidents database lists no record of a plane crash in Iowa at any time between Abdul’s St. Louis and Denver-area shows in 1992.   

TAYLOR SWIFT has announced that her next album is called Lover.  It’s coming out on August 23rd . . .She has a new single called You Need to Calm Down. This is her telling us about it. Here’s the song and it’ll feature a collaboration with Paul MCCARTNEY’s…daughter Stella. Meaning the album will have its own CLOTHING LINE, and Paul’s daughter Stella Mccartney helped Taylor with it.  Ms. Swift didn’t elaborate on the clothing designs, or say when and where they’ll be available.  She also didn’t say how MUCH they’d cost, but Stella’s clothing is usually VERY pricey.

Ashley O, Miley Cyrus’ character in the latest season of Black Mirror, has released a music video for the song “On a Roll.”

The music industry is very different than it was a decade ago . . . and it’s even more radically different than it was two and three decades ago.  So what will it be like a decade from now? A so-called “billionaire venture capitalist” named Vinod Khosla claims we won’t even be listening to music 10 years from now. Instead, he thinks we’ll be listening to “custom song equivalents” that are automatically designed specifically for each of us, and tailored to fit our particular needs . . . including our moods. He doesn’t really elaborate, but Techcrunch.com points out that people are already listening to Spotify playlists and YouTube channels that are catered to our moods and activities.  But at least we’re still listening to SONGS.

“Forbes” recently named JAY-Z the first BILLIONAIRE rapper so here are the five richest rappers, and their estimated fortunes:

1.  Jay-Z, $1 billion

2.  Dr. Dre, $800 million

3.  Diddy, $740 million

4.  Kanye West, $240 million

5.  Drake, $150 million

For what it’s worth, Dre previously declared himself to be the first billionaire in hip-hop, but according to “Forbes” estimates, that’s never been the case.  He was over-valuing his profit from the sale of Beats By Dre to Apple.

The new show for parents to freak out about is HBO’s “Euphoria”.  It’s a show about high schoolers, and it doesn’t skimp on the sex and drugs. There’s one scene in a boys’ locker room that’s supposed to be an homage to the shower scene in “Carrie” . . . and it includes 30 PENISES.  But there could have been a lot more. Creator Sam Levinson says there were originally supposed to be, quote, “like, 80 more.”  Apparently, 110 penises are too many for HBO, but 30 is cool.  The show premieres this Sunday, after “Big Little Lies”. Trailer on the blog.

Help me here, kids . . . is Pokemon Go still a thing?  Because “Stranger Things” is coming out with a game that sounds pretty similar.  It’s a “location-based puzzle RPG”, and it’ll be integrated with Google Maps so players can, quote, “explore the Upside Down hidden around them in their daily travels.”  It’s not coming until 2020, though.  Season 3 of “Stranger Things” hits Netflix on the 4th of July.

We’re slowly becoming a nation that converses in MOVIE QUOTES, and there have been some great additions so far this century.  Someone put together a list of the 100 best

1.  “I drink your milkshake.”  “There Will Be Blood”  (2007)

2.  “Florals?  For spring?  Groundbreaking.”  “The Devil Wears Prada”  (2006)

3.  “I wish I knew how to quit you.”  “Brokeback Mountain”  (2005)

4.  “She doesn’t even go here!”  “Mean Girls”  (2004)

5.  “A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool?”  “The Social Network”  (2010)

6.  “I live my life a quarter mile at a time.”  “The Fast and the Furious”  (2001)

7.  “King Kong ain’t got [poop] on me!”  “Training Day”  (2001)

8.  “Boy, that escalated quickly.”  “Anchorman”  (2004)

9.  “I’m a fiend for mojitos.”  “Miami Vice”  (2006)

10.  “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”  “The Room”  (2003)

11.  “Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.  Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.”  “Legally Blonde”  (2001)

12.  “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”  “The Witch”  (2016)

13.  “You sit on a throne of lies!”  “Elf”  (2003)

14.  “Are you not entertained?”  “Gladiator”  (2000)

15.  “My wife!”  “Borat”  (2006)

16.  “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane.”  “Before Sunset”  (2004)

17.  “Look at me.  Look at me.  I am the captain now.”  “Captain Phillips”  (2013)

18.  “But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.”  “Taken”  (2008)

19.  “If anyone orders merlot, I’m leaving.  I am not drinking any [effing] merlot!”  “Sideways”  (2004)

20.  “You shall not pass!”  “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring”  (2001)

And here are some others that made the list:

23.  “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.”  “The Notebook”  (2004)

27.  “Why so serious?”  “The Dark Knight”  (2008)

28.  “Now you’re in the sunken place.”  “Get Out”  (2017)

32.  “It’s the [effing] Catalina Wine Mixer!”  “Step Brothers”  (2008)

45.  “Not the bees!”  “The Wicker Man”  (2006)

52.  “With great power comes great responsibility.”  “Spider-Man”  (2002)

55.  “I volunteer as tribute.”  “The Hunger Games”  (2012)

59.  “Just keep swimming.”  “Finding Nemo”  (2003)

72.  “I have had it with these mother[effin’] snakes on this mother[effin’] plane!”  “Snakes on a Plane”  (2006)

73.  “You gonna eat your tots?”  “Napoleon Dynamite”  (2004)

83.  “This is Sparta!”  “300”  (2006)

89.  “I am Groot.”  “Guardians of the Galaxy”  (2014)

94.  “I just wanted to take another look at you.”  “A Star is Born”  (2018)

BIRTHDAYS

Diablo Cody is 41“Juno”

Boy George is 58.  Culture Club

Neil Patrick Harris is 46.

Leah Remini is 49.  “King of Queens” and “Kevin Can Wait”.

Ice Cube is 50.

Courteney Cox is 55.

Helen Hunt is 56.  

Jim Belushi is 65

John Cho is 47.  Mr. Sulu in the new “Star Trek” movies, and Harold in the “Harold & Kumar” movies. 

Phil Mickelson is 49

Laurie Metcalf is 64.  Jackie on “Roseanne”

Today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY….He’s a reality TV star…but, in his words, he’s currently trying to “Make America Great Again.”  The 45th President of the United States….Donald J. Trump is 73 years young today. 

pb

PORNO BIRTHDAY

JOLEAN

Today’s birthday girl has handled more bags than a Schnucks cashier in  83 fine films including:

  • Bigger Is Better
  • Don’t Mess With Tex-Ass
  • Eat My Feet
  • My Goddaughter Volume 5
  • Say Aloha To My A-Hola
  • She’s My Man
  • And who could forget…her unforgettable role in…We Were Tied Up..And She Was Naked

JOLEAN is 43 YEARS OLD

Harrison Bader shined yesterday as he played for the first time back in his hometown in New York.  He hit a 2 out RBI double to tie things up in the top of the 9th.  Unfortunately, he slipped on a wet 2nd base and was tagged out, and then the tarps came out.  Play was suspended with the game tied up at 4 in the middle of the 9th, and eventually the game was called.  The two teams will finish up the game today.  The bottom of the 9th will start at 5:10PM with the second game scheduled for 6:10PM.  Carlos Martinez will continue on the mound for the Cards in Game 1…Daniel Ponce de Leon will start in place of the injured Adam Wainwright. 

The Toronto Raptors won their first NBA championship in franchise history last night with a 114-110 win over the Golden State Warriors four games to two NBA Finals victory. Kawhi Leonard, who was named the NBA Finals MVP, scored 22 points. The two-time defending champion Warriors, already depleted by injuries, lost Klay Thompson late in the third quarter, when he left the game with 30 points after tearing the ACL in his left knee. 

British golfer Justin Rose is at the top of the leaderboard after the opening round of the U.S. Open yesterday at Pebble Beach in California. Rose shot a 6-under 65, tying the U.S. Open record at Pebble Beach for the lowest round, and putting him one shot ahead of four players tied in second place.  Tiger Woods is currently tied for 28th at 1 under par.

Dominican Republic officials said Wednesday that six people, including the alleged gunman, had been arrested in the shooting of retired Boston Red Sox star David Ortiz. The shooter was identified as 25-year-old Rolfy Ferreyra. The officials didn’t provide information about a motive, but the national police director said the coordinator of the attack was offered $7,800 to orchestrate it. The police director didn’t say who’d hired them. Four other suspects are still being pursued in the attack, which was carried out by two men on a motorcycle, assisted by two other groups of people in cars. Meanwhile, Ortiz’s wife, Tiffany, said in a statement that her husband was able to sit up and take some steps at the Boston hospital where he’s in the intensive care unit.

New Cleveland Cavaliers coach John Beilein has made a notable addition to his coaching staff by bringing on Cal women’s basketball coach Lindsay Gottlieb.  Gottlieb will be the first women’s college head coach to join an NBA staff.  Gottlieb led the Bears for eight seasons, reaching the NCAA Tournament in all but one campaign and making the 2013 Final Four in her second year at the school. She coached several WNBA players during her time at Cal and compiled a 179-89 record. Overall, she brings 11 years of head coaching experience to the Cavs, in addition to nine years of time working as an assistant.


The New England Patriots filed tampering charges Wednesday against the Houston Texans for the attempted general manager hire of Nick Caserio. The league now is expected to gather relevant information to open its investigation against Houston. Houston fired general manager Brian Gaine the night after New England’s Super Bowl ring ceremony on June 6 at Robert Kraft’s house. The Texans finished in first place in the AFC South with an 11-5 record last season.  Former Patriots team chaplain and current Texans executive vice president of team development Jack Easterby attended that party, as did Caserio. The NFL’s anti-tampering policy states, “Any interference by a member club with the employer-employee relationship of another club or any attempt by a club to induce a person to seek employment with that club or with the NFL” is impermissible.”

Former NFL tight end Kellen Winslow II was convicted of rape, indecent exposure, and lewd conduct on Monday—charges that stem from separate incidents involving Winslow sexually assaulting a woman, exposing himself to another woman, and touching himself in front of a third woman. A mistrial was declared on charges related to two other rapes, 15 years apart, and prosecutors haven’t said yet if they will retry him on those charges as well. Now, we are learning more about him during his playing time….Apparently…Winslow freely masturbated and looked at porn with no regard for who might notice around him.  One source said, “He could count on having an empty seat next to him on any team flight, due to his ritual of watching hardcore pornography on his portable DVD. On one occasion, an equipment manager tasked with delivering gear to lockers after hours walked in on Winslow JOing at his locker, two seats away from the entrance.”  A newly published article also mentions that Winslow would brag about cheating on his wife by having one-night stands on road trips.  Some teammates had said: “When pornography became widely available on mobile phones, he often watched it on his smartphone during meetings.  Teammates begged out of shared hotel room assignments with Winslow because he watched pornography and JOed openly, with no regard for who was in the room. Later on in his career, after being sent to Tampa Bay via trade, Winslow acquired a life-sized silicone mold of a woman’s torso—complete with all the business—to bring with him on road trips.

Concert Calendar