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That Splendiferous Cadre Of Douches

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Wendy’s is launching breakfast nationwide in 2020 and will hire 20,000 new employees – USAToday

Bed Beef Sparked Woman’s Attack On Wife – TheSmokingGun

-A Florida Woman assaulted her wife after discovering the victim “sleeping in her spot on the bed,” police report. Ashley Crampton, 33, was arrested yesterday for domestic battery following an altercation in the couple’s room at a Budget Inn in Clearwater. Pictured at right, Crampton was booked Sunday into the Pinellas County jail on the misdemeanor charge. According to an arrest affidavit, Crampton’s spouse told police that her wife “was upset she was sleeping in her spot on the bed.” Crampton, cops allege, “kicked the victim off the bed with her feet.” When the 26-year-old sought to “get back up onto the bed” several hours later, Crampton allegedly punched her multiple times in the back of the neck

No injuries after school bus catches fire at I-44 and Grand – KMOV

St. Louis County man accused of rape, assault; still at large – Fox2Now

Gun violence partially to blame for blood shortage in St. Louis area – KSDK

Sarah Palin Is Getting Divorced – People

A New Study Says You Should Take Naps for the Sake of Your Health – Time

Scientist suggests eating human flesh to fight climate change – NYPost

33% of americans believe ufo’s 33% of Americans Believe UFOs Have Visited Earth . . . and 16% Have Personally Seen One – Gallup

A Man Threatens to Kill His Friend Over a $10,000 Bet That the Earth is Flat – ODT

2019’s Happiest and Least Happy States in America – WalletHub

Here Are the Top 10 Toys Both Parents and Their Kids Played With Growing Up – SWNSDigital

SARAH PALIN and her husband TODD are splitting after 31 years of marriage.  They’re both 55 years old. Todd filed for divorce on Friday, citing, quote, “have you met the woman???” no im kidding…quote  “incompatibility of temperament between the parties such that they find it impossible to live together as husband and wife.” “Incompatibility of temperament” is basically just “irreconcilable differences,” which means . . . pretty much whatever it needs to mean, YOU JUST WANT OUT!!! Sarah and Todd only have one minor child, an 11-year-old son named Trig.  Todd is seeking joint custody, plus a fair division of assets.

IF you know who suffered from it you know the pain but DR. OZ’s mom has Alzheimer’s, and he is feeling guilty because he missed all the early signs.  He says that he and his sisters noticed little things, like the way she would struggle to find certain words, or dress oddly.  But they never connected the dots.  

Back in 2012, Sharon Osbourne talked about plastic surgery because she started noticing her face looked PLASTIC and UNNATURAL in some pictures. In other news, SHARON OSBOURNE unveiled her new face yesterday on the season premiere of “The Talk”.  And it really doesn’t look that much different from her old face . . . maybe just a little more plastic. Here she is talking about it. I’m sure she was comfortable because it was the debut of new co host Marie Osmond who is slowly turning into Cher I think. 

Kelly Clarkson’s talk show premiered yesterday and can ya guess how they opened it? Dwayne Johnson filled in for Kevin Hart after his wreck.  He did some obligatory jokes about Kevin’s size while talking about the wreck.

Comedy Central released a preview from the Alec Baldwin roast, featuring Blake Griffin going after Caitlyn Jenner. .Comedy Central Sept 15th

Who is excited about Disney+ rebooting Muppets Live Another Day? A scripted comedy series written and executive produced by Frozen star Josh Gad. Update ummm they killed the idea. They called it a “discrepancy between the writing team’s creative vision and that of the top execs at Disney-owned Muppet Studio”. (Muppets Live Another Day was to pick up right where 1984’s The Muppets Take Manhattan left off and focus on Kermit as he brings the Muppets back together to help locate the missing Rowlf.) Disney+ WILL go forward with reboots of  High School Musical and Lizzie McGuire. The service will launch on November 12. 

“Business Insider” has a list of the best current shows per network per Rotten Tomatoes.  Scripted shows that networks and streaming services are currently producing, although they made a few exceptions for shows that recently ended. No children’s shows, talk shows, and “docuseries,”.  Ill give you the network you tell me the show

1.  ABC:  “Speechless”.  Critics:  91%

2.  Adult Swim:  “Rick and Morty”.  Critics:  97%

3.  Amazon:  “Fleabag”.  Critics:  100%

4.  AMC:  “Better Call Saul”.  Critics:  97%

7.  CBS:  “Elementary”.  Critics:  96%

9.  Cinemax:  “Jett”.  Critics:  93%

10.  Comedy Central:  “Broad City”.  Critics:  99%

11.  The CW:  “Jane the Virgin”.  Critics:  100%

12.  Fox:  “9-1-1”.  Critics:  94%

14.  HBO:  “Insecure”.  Critics:  97%

17.  NBC:  “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”.  Critics:  97%

18.  Netflix:  “Master of None”.  Critics:  100%

19.  Showtime:  “Shameless”.  Critics:  90%

23.  TBS:  “Search Party”.  Critics:  98%

25.  USA:  “Mr. Robot”.  Critics:  93%

MARGOT ROBBIE’s production company has snapped up the rights to “Tank Girl”.  There’s no official word that she’d star in it, but it seems kind of obvious and also there’s a remake of “Face / Off” in the works.  That’s the 1997 action flick where JOHN TRAVOLTA and NICOLAS CAGE trade faces. 

The Hollywood Reporter wanted to settle the argument of what movie was the undisputed biggest loser in Hollywood box-office history. I have the four finalists

  1. John Carter (2012). The Disney produced film directed by Andrew Stanton cost approximately $363 million to make and market, but only earned $284 million worldwide, about half what it needed to break even. Disney took a $200 million write-down on the $136.6 million loss, making it the biggest box office disaster in Hollywood history.
  2. Cutthroat Island (1995). The swashbuckler starring Matthew Modine (MODEEN) and Gina Davis, directed by Renny Harlin, is a close second. The film cost $115 million to make and market, but only earned $15.7 million at the box office worldwide. It pushed Carolco Pictures into bankruptcy, and the company claimed a $118 million loss. Overseas marketing dollars likely pushed the loss past Heaven’s Gate.
  3. Heaven’s Gate (1980). This epic Western directed by Michael Cimino had a budget which would be $171 million in today’s dollars, but brought in only $3.5 million at the domestic box office. The film famously all but tanked United Artists, who had to take a $128 million loss. (Kris Kristofferson, Christopher Walken and Jeff Bridges)
  4. Cleopatra (1963). This Elizabeth Taylor vehicle was the most expensive movie ever made at the time, and has long been considered a bust, although that’s not quite accurate. The film’s budget would be equivalent to $365 million today, but the film actually performed decently at the box office, hitting No. 1 and making $57.8 million domestically ($480 million today.) The film also won four Oscars. 

“It Chapter 2” is number one at the box office.  It features one very scary clown.  Can you name all six of the clowns in this montage? Answers:  Bozo, Ronald McDonald, Pennywise, Crusty the Clown, Baskets the Clown (Zach Galifianakis), Shakes the Clown (Bobcat Goldthwait). 

Happy Birthday to Aerosmith and Hollywood Vampires lead guitarist, Joe Perry!  He turns 69 today.   He came up with some of classic rock’s greatest guitar riffs.  Can you name the songs these Joe Perry licks came from? Answers:   “Dream On”, “Walk This Way”, “Sweet Emotion”, “Dude (Looks Like a Lady)”, “Janie’s Got a Gun”, “Love in an Elevator”, and “Back in the Saddle”.

Word has it that GREEN DAY, FALL OUT BOY, and WEEZER are announcing a joint tour today called ‘The Hella Mega Tour.’  They’ve been teasing SOMETHING on social media, but as of now, there’s no official word. BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG from Green Day posted a video, so it’s probably happening

There’s a new clothing line called “Kurt Was Here,” featuring T-shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies covered in KURT COBAIN’s old sketches, paintings, and handwritten notes. And if you think that’s gross and exploitive, you should know it’s being “curated” by Kurt’s daughter FRANCES BEAN COBAIN. Also, a portion of the sales goes to the Jed Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to suicide prevention among teens and young adults.  Cobain took his life 25 years ago, in April of 1994. Check it out at KurtCobainShop.com.

Bob Dylan will launch a U.S. fall tour next month. Rolling Stone reports that the trek will kick off on October 11 in Irvine, California, at the UC Irvine Bren Events Center and will wrap up November 21 in Philadelphia at The Met Philadelphia. The run marks the musician’s first North American dates of 2019, following an extensive tour across Europe. Rolling Stone notes that the next chapter of Dylan’s ongoing Bootleg Series has yet to be announced, but a source close to the Dylan camp told the publication earlier this year that it is likely to center on the sessions for 1967’s John Wesley Harding and 1969’s Nashville Skyline.  October 22nd – Stifel

Breaking Benjamin’s hit single “The Diary Of Jane,” from 2006’s Phobia album, was officially certified triple platinum for sales of three million copies in the U.S. on September 5th by the Recording Industry Association of America. It was previously certified double platinum in November of 2015. “The Diary Of Jane” remains one of Breaking Benjamin’s biggest hits and the band’s most successful single in terms of sales. 

Motley Crue, almost named Christmas, look it up, will celebrate the 30th anniversary of its 1989 album Dr. Feelgood by reissuing the disc on November 29th. The anniversary edition will feature the original album along with studio demos. The deluxe edition will include the LP on “coke bottle green” vinyl, CD, three seven-inch picture discs, a doctor’s bag, a prescription notepad, a deck of playing cards, a pair of drumstick pens, pin badges and guitar picks.

Is September too early for Christmas music?  How about if it’s METAL?  Judas Priest singer Rob Halford has a new Christmas album coming out next month called “Celestial”.  And the music video for an original track called “Donner and Blitzen” is already up on YouTube.  Let’s celebrate with a clip now.

“Billboard” has a list of the 35 “most anticipated” albums that are supposed to be out this fall.  Some of them are already confirmed and have release dates . . . but others are still up in the air. Here they are, along with the titles and release dates if they’re known:

1.  “Charli”, Charli XCX, September 13th

2.  “The Nothing”, Korn, September 13th

3.  “3”, The Lumineers, September 13th

4.  “Nine”, Blink-182, September 20th

5.  “The Owl”, Zac Brown Band, September 20th

6.  “Jaime”, Brittany Howard from Alabama Shakes, September 20th

7.  “Why Me? Why Not”, Liam Gallagher, September 20th

8.  “Cause and Effect”, Keane, September 20th

9.  “Sunshine Kitty”, Tove Lo, September 20th

10.  “Heartache Medication”, Jon Pardi, September 27th

11.  “Sound & Fury”, Sturgill Simpson, September 27th

12.  “Jesus Is King”, Kanye West, September 27th

13.  “Hey, I’m Just Like You”, Tegan and Sara, September 27th

14.  “Turn Off the Light, Volume 2”, Kim Petras, October 1st

15.  “All Mirrors”, Angel Olsen, October 4th

16.  “My Name is Michael Holbrook”, Mika, October 4th

17.  “Ode to Joy”, Wilco, October 4th

18.  “No Home Record”, Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth, October 11th

19.  “Sweet Insomnia”, Gallant, October 25th

20.  “Cheap Queen”, King Princess, October 25th

21.  “Old Dominion”, Old Dominion, October 25th

22.  “The Good and the Bad”, Anthony Ramos, October 25th

23.  “Magdalene”, FKA Twigs, October 25th

24.  “Colorado”, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, October 25th

25.  “Imperfect Circle”, Hootie & the Blowfish, November 1st

26.  “Wildcard”, Miranda Lambert, November 1st

27.  The “Charlie’s Angels” soundtrack, November 1st

28.  “9”, Jason Aldean, November 22nd

29.  Big Sean . . . there’s no title or release date.

30.  “Jam & Lewis: Volume One”, Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis.  There’s no date.

31.  “Hay Más Futuro Que Pasado”, Juanes.  There’s no date.

32.  Kesha . . . there’s no title or release date.

33.  “Imagination & the Misfit Kid”, Labrinth.  There’s no date.

34.  “Pang”, Caroline Polachek from Chairlift.  There’s no date.

35.  “Tyrone”, Ty Dolla $ign.  There’s no date

BIRTHDAYS

Ryan Phillippe is 45.  

Guy Ritchie is 51

Randy Johnson is 56

Colin Firth is 59

Joe Perry is 69.  Aerosmith guitarist.

Bill O’Reilly is 70.

And today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY….back in 1961….he broke Babe Ruth’s single season home run record…all without roids…he was a Cardinal for his final season in the league….He passed away in 1985….Roger Maris would have been 85 years old today. 

pd

PORNO BIRTHDAY

TRINITY

Today’s birthday girl has been stuffed more than the backpacks at a skydiving facility in 137 fine films including:

  • Bareback Mounting
  • Anal Sluts & Sweethearts
  • Slut & Sluttier
  • Big Sausage Pizza Volume 5
  • Analicious
  • Lips Toes & Hoes
  • The simply titled BITCH
  • And who could forget…her unforgettable role in…Double Parked Volume 12:  Parking In The Rear

TRINITY is 39 YEARS OLD

The New Orleans Saints and the Oakland Raiders won in the first Monday Night Football games of the new NFL season last night. The Saints topped the Houston Texans 30-28, winning on Wil Lutz’s 58-yard field goal as time ran out at the end of the game, and the Raiders beat the Denver Broncos 24-16.  Which means….DONNY will be getting shot this week. 

The Cardinals are back on the field today.  Michael Wacha will take the mound as the Cards take on the Rockies in Colorado.  First pitch is scheduled for 7:40PM.  As it stands today, the Cardinals hold a 4 game lead over the Cubs for 1st in the NL Central.

21-year-old Clayton Keller was one of five St. Louis area hockey players taken in the first round of the 2016 draft. Now, just three years later, he’s blossomed into an NHL star and has a long-term contract to show for it. The Coyotes announced last week they had signed Keller to an eight-year deal to keep him with the organization through the 2027-2028 season.

The US Men’s National Team has a friendly tonight against Uruguay at Busch Stadium.  Kick off is scheduled for 7PM.  The last time the men’s team took the field they took on Mexico on Friday and lost 3-0. 

Retired Boston Red Sox star David Ortiz threw out the first pitch before Boston’s game against the Yankees at Fenway Park last night, three months after he was shot in the back and seriously injured while sitting at a bar in the Dominican Republic. It was the first public appearance for the 43-year-old Ortiz since the June 9th incident, and after he threw the pitch, he spoke from the field to thank the fans for the prayers and support after he was shot and during his recovery. Police have said a hired gunman shot Ortiz, but that the intended target was another man.

Odell Beckham’s football fashion taste clashed with the NFL’s. The league reached out to the Browns on Monday and told them that their star can no longer wear a watch on the field after he sported an expensive one during Sunday’s season opener against Tennessee. The flashy, fashionable wide receiver wore an orange Richard Mille-designed watch — which retails for more than $250,000 — during the Browns’ 43-13 loss to the Tennessee Titans. On Monday, league spokesman Michael Signora said while there are no rules prohibiting jewelry, there is a policy “prohibiting hard objects.”

So what are all those Raiders fans doing with their now useless #84 Antonio Brown jerseys?  Well, it’s common that when a player does their team wrong, they burn the jerseys.  But many fans have found a pretty clever and genius work around.  They realized that there is another very famous Raider named Brown.  Tim Brown.  And he wore number 81.  So, some fans have been taking black tape or sharpies…and making the four…a one.  Problem solved.  There are some pics on the blog, it’s pretty genius and impressive.  ((PIC: https://sports.yahoo.com/forget-jersey-burning-raiders-fans-find-smarter-use-for-antonio-brown-apparel-tim-jersey-175818959.html))

USC athletic director Lynn Swann has resigned effective immediately.  The President of the school said, “Lynn has been a leader on and off the field at USC for nearly five decades, and he will forever be a valued member of the Trojan family.” Four members of the USC athletic’s department were implicated earlier this year in a nationwide college admissions cheating, bribery and recruitment scheme, including a senior associate athletic director. Swann said that he, along with most of his department, were blindsided by the alleged actions of his employees. The Pro Football Hall of Famer and former Trojans receiver took over as USC’s athletic director three years ago. The 67-year-old athletic director came under fire for not being aware of what was taking place within his department.

13-year-old Gianna Bryant is a basketball player . . . and like a lot of kids, her dad coaches her middle school team.  Although, UNLIKE a lot of kids, her dad is KOBE BRYANT. And it sounds like their team is MUCH more intense than a typical middle school team . . . because they just ran up the score to get REVENGE on a team that beat them two years ago. Kobe posted a photo of the girls celebrating an 88-POINT win.  The score was 115 to 27.  He captioned it, quote, “Two years ago, we lost to the same team 22 to 21. #hardwork #mambas.” Earlier this year, Kobe said, quote “The girls are making incredible progress.  Just wait until you see us in six years.  I have a year-by-year plan for them.  We’re going to keep adding pieces on a schedule I’ve already mapped out.”

Concert Calendar