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RizzRecap: From Suits To Boots

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A Guy with No Arms Is Arrested For Managing to Stab Someone
via MiamiHerald: There’s a guy from Chicago who’s going to get home from his vacation soon . . . tell his friends he got STABBED . . . and yet that’s not even close to the most interesting part of what happened.

A 22-year-old guy named Cesar Coronado from Chicago was on vacation in Miami Beach this week. And on Tuesday night, he had a confrontation with a 46-year-old homeless street artist named Jonathan Crenshaw.

Jonathan says that Cesar sucker punched him . . . Cesar says he just asked Jonathan for directions . . . but either way, Jonathan grabbed some scissors, and then he STABBED Cesar two times in the left arm.

But here’s the TWIST . . . Jonathan doesn’t have ANY ARMS. He paints with his feet . . . and apparently he stabs with his feet too. Because he grabbed the scissors with his toes, stabbed Cesar twice, then used his feet to put the scissors in his waistband.

Cesar was taken to the hospital, and Jonathan was arrested.

City police make third big drug and gun bust in a week; suspect arrested – KMOV
Suspect charged with murder after being found sitting on porch with woman’s body – KMOV
Police searching for man who crashed during chase, fled hospital before cops arrived – KMOV
Metro East man charged with failing to register as a sex offender – FOX2Now
St. Louis County woman charged with sex trafficking of a 13-year-old girl – Fox2Now
Plan to put more school resource officers in Wentzville schools advances – KMOV
As deer problems persist, Creve Coeur council discusses revising hunting ordinance – STLToday
Papa John’s founder John Schnatter resigns as chairman of board after using racial slur – CBSNews
Important Heat Wave Question: Should Businesses Have to Accept Money Covered in Boob or Sock Sweat? – TheSun
A Subway Employee Shattered a Woman’s World by Informing Her That Mayonnaise Isn’t Vegan – FoxNews
When It Gets Too Hot Outside, You Get Dumber – Boston Globe
Zsa Zsa, The World’s Ugliest Dog, Has Died Just 9 Days After Securing Her Title – TIME
How Close Does Something Have to Be For You to Walk Instead of Drive? – NewsAnyway


Cutting the longest fingernails ever – Guinness World Records

The driver of the car who crashed into . . . and almost KILLED . . . GEORGE CLOONEY in Italy this week is blaming the sun. The man is 65 . . . and he says he crossed over into George’s lane because he was blinded by the sun.  And he didn’t realize he hit someone famous until George’s bodyguard ran over yelling, quote, “You hit Clooney . . . Clooney . . .  the actor.”  There’s no update on George’s condition, but Britain’s “Daily Mail” tabloid says, quote, “He suffered trauma to the pelvis, hip, and knee which should take around 20 days to heal.”  He’s recovering at home.

 

Talk about a red flag! Andy Dick’s decades-long history of sexual misconduct has received attention of late after he got charged with one count of sexual battery on July 2ndfor grabbing a woman’s rear-end and making lewd comments on the street in L.A. Now, The Hollywood Reporter is claiming that a woman was once assigned to “butt in” on conversations Dick had on-set with younger actors, in an attempt to stamp out misconduct before it happened.  The woman, who wants to remain anonymous, says she worked with him on NBC’s short-lived sitcom Go Fish in 2001.  While she got a gig as an extra, she was eventually hired by producers to prevent him from “cornering underage actors and saying nasty sexually explicit things,” she recalls. They told her: “Any time you see Andy approach one of the actors, just butt into the conversation like, ‘Hey guys, what’s going on.’ In my 20-year-old mind, I knew that it was a shady situation, but I wasn’t worried about Andy Dick and so I said yes.” Still, the plan wasn’t foolproof. She claims Dick attempted to lock one of the 19-year-old stars into a room and expose his penis. The producers promised her a SAG card in exchange for her help. While she signed on, the experience eventually turned her off of acting.  Last October, Dick admitted that he was fired from an indie film for misconduct. “I didn’t grope anybody. I might have kissed somebody on the cheek to say goodbye and then licked them. That’s my thing — I licked Carrie Fisher at a roast. It’s me being funny. I’m not trying to sexually harass people,” he said at the time. “I didn’t grab anybody’s genitals,” he continued, but he did not deny that he propositioned others. “Of course I’m going to proposition people. I’m single, depressed, lonely and trying to get a date. They can just say no, and they probably did and then I was done.”

MICHAEL JACKSON’s father JOE JACKSON died recently. No one is debating Joe’s horrific parenting. But now Michael’s “doctor” CONRAD MURRAY, who many say was responsible for Michael dying, says Joe is going to HELL.

 

A dumb criminal named David Matthew Read came up with a “genius” con:  He’d report DEMI MOORE’s American Express card missing . . . and then he’d intercept the new one when it arrived. Somehow, he managed to pull that off . . . and then he went out and dropped $169,764.73 at Saks Fifth Avenue and Nordstrom. It’s unclear why he decided to attract so much attention to himself by shopping at department stores . . . maybe he figured Demi wouldn’t notice.  But she did. Her assistant alerted AmEx of the fraudulent charges . . . and the authorities were able to track the guy down using surveillance footage. Demi is worth an estimated $150 million.   

 

MGM is developing a new installment of RoboCop called RoboCop Returns. The original was released in 1987. They will rewrite the script done years ago as a planned sequel that never happened.  there was one in 2014. That film didn’t do so well domestically, but grossed $240 million worldwide and was particularly strong in China.  The plot: anarchy reigns and the fate of Detroit hangs in the balance as RoboCop makes his triumphant return to fight crime and corruption.

 

Different actors who played the same role in the original and the remake

Arthur Bach in Arthur

Dudley Moore in 1981/Russell Brand in 2011

Norman Bates in Psycho

Anthony Perkins in 1960/Vince Vaughn in 1998

George Lutz in Amityville Horror

James Brolin in 1979/Ryan Reynolds in 2005

Edna Turnblad in Hairspray

Divine in 1988/John Travolta in 2007

Rooster Cogburn in True Grit

John Wayne in 1969/Jeff Bridges in 2010

Danny Ocean from Ocean’s 11

Frank Sinatra in 1960/Ocean’s Eleven George Clooney 2001

Paul Crewe from The Longest Yard

Burt Reynolds 1974/Adam Sandler 2005

 

A 1965 Gibson SG electric guitar owned by Tom Petty will be auctioned, along with one of his top hats. Heritage Auctions announced Monday that the auction will occur on July 21. It says the guitar was played by Petty during his 1986 tour with Bob Dylan. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the guitar will benefit two Southern California charities. The guitar and top hat are being sold by Petty’s friend, Norm Harris, who runs a rare guitar shop. Harris sold the guitar to Petty. Petty returned it to Harris years later after his friend gave him another rare instrument. Petty died in October at 66.  TOM PETTY’s first post-death single has arrived. It’s called “Keep a Little Soul, and it’s a previously unreleased track from 1982.  It was recorded during sessions for the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers album “Long After Dark” . . . the one that “You Got Lucky” and “Change of Heart” came from. “Keep a Little Soul” will be on the upcoming box set “An American Treasure”, which features 60 unreleased songs, alternative takes, live versions, and other stuff from the vaults.  It’s coming out September 28th. 

 

I guess vegetarians aren’t cool enough anymore, because PETA is now crowning its Most Beautiful VEGANS.  They’re not woke enough yet to go gender neutral though, because they still named a male and female winner. And the awards go to BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH and AVA DUVERNAY . . . director of “Selma” and “A Wrinkle in Time”. Other contenders included musicians Ne-Yo, Jason Derulo, Will.I.Am, and Swizz Beatz . . . and actors Thandie Newton, and Zac Efron,

 

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, BRAD PITT stepped up to help.  He and his Make It Right charity promised to build 150 affordable houses in the Lower Ninth Ward district of New Orleans.  That’s pretty cool. But now, there are reports that some of those houses are in pretty rough shape . . . with rotting roofs, walls falling off, and leaking floorboards.  And some residents have abandoned their Make It Right homes because they can’t afford the repairs. So some feel that Brad ABANDONED them, because he hasn’t been around lately,  and the last house was built in 2016.  And they still haven’t reached their goal.  Brad and his charity ‘only’ built a little over 100 homes.

There’s no comment from Brad or Make It Right . . . but an anonymous source “close” to Brad says the project is still ongoing, and is very much a priority.

 

It’s only been three months since we heard about the “Mad About You” revival, but if you’re eagerly anticipating the show’s return you should probably adjust your expectations.  Because PAUL REISER doesn’t think it’s happening. He says, quote, “It’s kind of stuck in the business end of it now . . . that’s where I just walk away and go, call me when you figure it out.  I don’t know what happens at that level.  They make their deals with whoever they make their deals with. “So we’ll see if it happens.  It may not happen.  It likely won’t happen.  My guess is it won’t happen.” 

 

There’s a movie in the works about OZZY OSBOURNE, but get this:  It WON’T be about sex or drugs.  How is that possible?  Because SHARON OSBOURNE is behind it.  She says, quote, “Ozzy is so much more than that.  I would hate to be a cliché.”

 

The movie will focus more on Ozzy and Sharon as a couple.  She says, quote, “It starts the day we meet and will focus on how our lives were totally different but very similar in ways.  “I was brought up by a powerful, successful father, and Ozzy was brought up extremely poor and somewhat abused . . . It’s definitely going to be a tearjerker.” 

 

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is withdrawing his rumored bid for president. “Unfortunately I don’t see it happening in 2020,” he said at the premiere for Skyscraper. “It’s a position that requires years of hard work and experience to learn the skills. There’s a lot of ground to cover, and due to my schedule, it’s not possible in 2020.” However, he held out hope for a 2024 bid. “I have so much respect for the position,” Johnson said. “It’s something that I seriously considered. What I need is time to go out and learn

 

Puddle Of Mudd frontman Wes Scantlin says he has been sober for 11 months, after years of legal troubles, canceled or disrupted shows and arrests for disorderly or drunken behavior. Scantlin explained, “Getting out of incarceration and then going to CRI-Help in Burbank, California, in North Hollywood, that was awesome — it was really great. I’m 11 months sober now almost to the day, and I feel great. And we’re just playing shows (and) rocking.” Scantlin credited his family and fans for giving him the strength to get his life together, saying that he ended up returning to rehab because “there’s really nowhere else to go” During the past few years Scantlin abandoned multiple shows mid-set, got into a standoff with 30 police officers, was arrested for skipping a court date, was arrested for attempting to board a plane with a BB gun and was arrested for trying to vandalize his own foreclosed house. He faced other legal and financial issues prior to that. Scantlin also confirmed that there are plans for Puddle Of Mudd to finally record a follow-up to its 2009 album Volume 4: Songs In The Key Of Love & Hate. A covers set, re(disc)overed, came out in 2011. The singer-guitarist said he plans to work with a “really killer producer” and that the new record “will be coming out really soon.”

 

“Forbes” put out a list of ‘America’s Richest SELF-MADE Women,’ which immediately makes you think of OPRAH.  She was born into poverty in rural Mississippi to a teenage single mother, and raised by her grandmother. She was raped at nine . . . got pregnant and lost a child at 14 . . . and since her family needed money, she started working at a radio station part-time while she was in high school.  Now, she’s worth $3.1 billion. But you might NOT think of KYLIE JENNER, who basically started her career on third base thanks to her appearances on her family’s reality shows, beginning when she was 10.  And yet, Kylie is on the list too   Since founding Kylie Cosmetics in February of 2016, her company has earned more than $630 million in revenue. (She is the sole owner). And by leveraging her massive social media following (110 million on Instagram, 25.6 million on Twitter), she has amassed a fortune worth $900 million. The combined net worth of this issue’s crop is worth $71 billion, 15% more than last year’s. The minimum required for entrée on the list is $320 million. Jenner is the youngest. Jenner is the most profitable member of her family. If she stays on-course, she will surpass Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg as the youngest self-made billionaire, male or female.  Not everyone on the rich list is a household name, so here are the highlights:

 

#6:  Oprah, $3.1 billion

 

#27:  Kylie Jenner, $900 million

 

#36:  Madonna, $590 million

 

#46:  Celine Dion, $430 million

 

#48:  Judge Judy, $400 million.  And Barbra Streisand, also at $400 million.

 

#53.  Beyoncé, $355 million

 

#54.  Kim Kardashian, $350 million

 

#60.  Taylor Swift, $320 million

 

BIRTHDAYS

 

Michelle Rodriguez is 40.

Topher Grace is 40.

Steve Howey is 41.  Van on “Reba” and Kevin on Showtime’s “Shameless”.

Brock Lesnar is 41.  The current WWE Universal Champion.

Kristi Yamaguchi is 47.  Olympic gold medalist

Richard Simmons is 70.  Fitness guru.

Christine McVie is 75.   Fleetwood Mac

And today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY….whatever you do…when celebrating his birthday today…DO NOT go out for a drink with him.….Bill Cosby is 81 years young today.

 

PORNO BIRTHDAY

 

SHAWNEE CATES

Today’s birthday girl has seen more slime than Bill Murray in Ghostbusters in 136 fine films including:

  • Anal Ski Vacation
  • Girls Just Want To Have Toys
  • Dirty Docs: Lez Be Friends
  • AssCapades
  • Sexual Olympics
  • Major Slut
  • Worst Porno Ever Made With The Best Sex Ever
  • And who could forget…her unforgettable role in…Butt-Weiser

 

SHAWNEE CATES is 48 YEARS OLD

 

The Cardinals got shut out last night by the White Sox 4-0.  Luke Weaver picked up the loss.  The Cards are off tonight and they take on the Reds at Busch on Friday.  Carlos Martinez gets the 7:15PM first pitch start.

Croatia defeated England 2-1 in their semifinal match yesterday in Moscow to make it to the World Cup final for the first time. Croatia will face off against France in the championship match on Sunday. England scored first on a free kick just five minutes into the match, but Croatia tied the score in the 68th minute, and then went ahead in the 109th minute on what turned out to be the winning goal.

It sounds like TIGER WOODS and PHIL MICKELSON are really going to play that $10 million winner-take-all round of golf.  So of course, the bookies are going to take all kinds of wagers. Here are some of the things you can bet on at SportsBettingDime.com: You can bet on the match itself, of course.  The odds of it actually happening are 1 to 2, which is about 67%.  If it does, Tiger is the favorite to win, at 2 to 3 odds.  Phil’s odds are 3 to 2. As for where it’s happening, they’re giving Nevada the best odds, 5 to 3.  It’s followed by California, Hawaii, and New York. They’re giving 12 to 1 odds that it happens this August.  September, October, and November follow, in that order. The chance that either Phil or Tiger gets penalized is 25 to 1 . . . and the chance either of them hits a hole-in-one is an astronomical 399 to 1.

Top-seeded Roger Federer was upset in his quarterfinal match at Wimbledon yesterday, falling in a stunning loss to eighth-seeded Kevin Anderson. In the other quarterfinals, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic and American John Isner won their matches to advance to the semifinals.

A little bit more on the LeSean McCoy allegations…An attorney for the ex-girlfriend of Buffalo Bills star running back McCoy is claiming that he orchestrated a home invasion attack Tuesday morning in which the woman was physically assaulted. Tanya Mitchell Graham said that the man who assaulted her client entered the home with no signs of forced entry and demanded specific items of jewelry McCoy had given her as gifts that he’d asked for back many times. McCoy and his ex-girlfriend have been battling in court over his attempts to evict her from the suburban Atlanta home, which he owns. A friend of the woman posted a photo of her bloodied and beaten face on Instagram Tuesday and blamed McCoy for the assault. He has denied the allegations.

 

Five former Louisville men’s basketball players have filed suit against the NCAA over it vacating the team’s 2013 national championship and 2012 Final Four. One of the attorneys representing former Louisville captain Luke Hancock, the 2013 Final Four Most Outstanding Player, and four teammates from the title team yesterday called the NCAA a “morally bankrupt organization” that exploits student-athletes. The lawsuit charges the NCAA portrayed the five players in a false light and is seeking a declaration that it wrongfully vacated their wins, honors and awards. The NCAA stripped Louisville of the title as part of sanctions related to an escort scandal

TMZ Sports has obtained video of Pacman Jones in a full-on FIST FIGHT at the Atlanta airport — showing the NFL star retaliate violently after he was attacked by a man who works at the airport.  Cops told us the altercation began when the ABM employee made a gesture toward the NFL star as he was walking through the airport with a female companion.  You can see in the video … Pacman (real name Adam Jones) calls out the guy and confronts him.   The employee — still wearing his orange airport vest — goes after Jones, initiating the fight.  Jones tries to take off his backpack, but instead throws a haymaker at the employee. The two exchange shots until Pacman lands the knockdown blow with an overhand right, sending the employee to the floor.  After Jones landed a few more shots, the fight was broken up.  Cops responded and arrested the employee — claiming he was the instigator and Jones was simply defending himself.

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