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I Was Looking For Hemorrhoids

RizzutoShow Blog 41

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Sword-wielding man accused of starting fire makes it rain in jail cell after arrest, police say – LINK

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Subway Just Won the First Battle on the Path to Vindicating Its Tuna – EatThis

Hellmann’s Told People to Put Mayonnaise in Their Coffee, and the Internet Melted Down – LINK

Any Interest in Bratwurst Filled with . . . Candy Corn? – LINK

DiGiorno Unveils New Mac & Cheese Pizza – LINK

Fast Food Fries Ranked . . . and McDonald’s Isn’t #1? – LINK


Chesterfield Police investigate string of garage thefts – LINK

Florida sheriff’s office using Facebook to find ‘rightful owner’ of 770 pounds of marijuana – LINK

We Should Not Try to Blow Up a Comet If It’s Heading Toward Earth, According to Neil deGrasse Tyson

A Meteorite Smashed Through a Woman’s Roof and Landed on Her Pillow – LINK

You can now buy sheets that stop your partner’s farts stinking out the bed – LINK

Uber can now track your flight so a ride home is ready when you land – LINK

Carry-On Luggage Hack: Packing Your Clothes in a Pillowcase – LINK

Blue Origin postpones William Shatner’s space flight by a day – LINK


“I mean, I know she is a cultural icon, but SNL has hosts, generally, who are performers who are there to promote a film, TV show, or album launch,” tweeted Will & Grace actor Debra Messing in response to the news. “Am I missing something?” “I won’t be watching SNL tonight,” another fan wrote on Saturday. “Kim Kardashian doesn’t deserve a second of my time.” 

Saturday Night Live (LINK) got a ratings bump from Kim Kardashian West doing the hosting last weekend. It was not huge but it was up. It drew a 3.8 household live + same day rating while the season premiere, with host Owen Wilson and musical guest Kacey Musgraves had a 3.5. Next week’s SNL features Rami Malek as host and Young Thug as the musical guest.

SMASH MOUTH singer STEVE HARWELL missed a few gigs because he was dealing with heart issues. But on Saturday, the band played a show at a beer and wine festival in Bethel, New York and it was pure tik tok fun. Im going to say this will be explained as meds mixed with booze.  The sound was horrible which wasn’t necessarily the band’s fault.  But Steve got WASTED.  He was slurring, dropping drinks, often not even singing, and he appeared to give a Nazi salute.  He told one fan, “I’ll [effing] kill your whole family, I swear to God.”  He also told the crowd that if he could do something that I believe would involve removing at least one rib, he would never leave the house (LINK)  

Demi Lovato says referring to extraterrestrial beings as “aliens” is offensive, according to a new interview. In her new Peacock special, “Unidentified” she is to “uncover the truth about the UFO phenomena” alongside sister Dallas Lovato and best friend Matthew Scott Montgomery. Lovato  said “I think that we have to stop calling them aliens because aliens is a derogatory term for anything.” “That’s why I like to call them ETs!,” the 29-year-old continued. “So yeah, that’s a little tidbit. A little information that I learned. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary (LINK) “alien” comes from the Old French “alien” and the Latin “alienus,” both meaning “strange” or foreign.” She als hates the aliens are perceived as  “harmful or that they’ll come and take over the planet. “I really think that if there was anything out there that would want to do that to us, it would have happened by now,”   

SUPERMAN is coming out as BISEXUAL in the comics. And before anyone wants to get upset and defend the history of the comic. What is Superman’s name? The current Superman in DC Comics is NOT Clark Kent,  It’s Jon Kent, the son of Clark and Lois Lane.  And in the November 9th issue, he becomes romantically involved with a college friend named Jay Nakamura. The writer of the comic says, quote, “I’ve always said everyone needs heroes and everyone deserves to see themselves in their heroes, and I’m very grateful DC and Warner Brothers share this idea. “Superman’s symbol has always stood for hope, for truth and for justice.  Today, that symbol represents something more.  Today, more people can see themselves in the most powerful superhero in comics.”

When you watch “Venom: Let There Be Carnage”, you might notice helicopters flying in the sky in a few scenes.  Those are actually from the set of “The Matrix Resurrections”. So does that mean Venom exists in the “Matrix” universe?  Not exactly . . . the two movies were both filming in the same area in San Francisco.  So those helicopters got into “Venom” by accident . . . but they decided to just leave them in. The location manager for “Venom” said, quote, “Lots of stuff impacted filming . . . A lot of our driving shots went away because ‘The Matrix’ controlled all of downtown . . . (LINK)

“We ended up moving a stunt up onto the top of the parking garage because we couldn’t get to the areas we wanted . . . if we would’ve been there first, it probably would’ve gone the other way.”

Curb Your Enthusiasm (LINK) returns to HBO for its 11th season on Sunday, October 24th. Here are  some of the bigger names who will be on this season…Jon Hamm, Vince Vaughn, Woody Harrelson, Bill Hader, Patton Oswalt, Tracey Ullman, Julie Bowen, and Kaley Cuoco, Richard Lewis WILL be on after not being sure due to some surgeries. There will be ten episodes. The premeire is 40-minutes long and airs Sunday, October 24th.

Last night, Matt Amodio’s 38-game winning streak stopped when he finished in third place.  His total was $1,518,601.  His 38-game winning streak is second all-time to Ken Jennings. He beat  the 33-game run of James Holzhauer.  Amodio sits at number three on the all-time regular-season winnings list behind Jennings ($2,520,700) and Holzhauer ($2,462,216).   

Looks like the whole “That ’70s Show” spin-off thing is going to be tried ONE more time.  If you remember in 2002, there was “That ’80s Show” that only lasted one season.Netflix is making “That ’90s Show” with KURTWOOD SMITH and DEBRA JO RUPP returning as Red and Kitty Forman.  And the original creators are coming back too. The show will take place in Wisconsin in 1995, with Red and Kitty as grandparents.  Their granddaughter Leia . . . who is the daughter of Eric and Donna . . . will be visiting them for the summer while making new friends. Leia will be, quote, “under the watchful eye of Kitty and the stern glare of Red” because “sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll never dies . . . it just changes clothes.” Netflix has ordered 10 episodes.  No word if other actors will return or make guest appearances, but we can hope. 

Are you a single parent to college-aged kids?  Well, beware . . . they just might nominate you for HBO Max’s new show.  It’s a reality dating series called “My Mom, Your Dad”, where kids try to find new partners for their single parents. The parents will all move into a house together . . . with the kids moving into a house down the street.  The kids will be able to watch their parent’s every move through hidden cameras and manipulate their encounters.    

Before ROBERT TRUJILLO joined METALLICA, he opened for them on their 1993 tour as a member of SUICIDAL TENDENCIES.  And he said they were AWESOME tour mates. In an Apple Music interview, Robert said, quote, “We had made a record that I guess LARS [ULRICH] seemed to like . . . I got my first official bonus, I’ll never forget that . . .”We were summoned to go meet them in their tour lounge . . . and were handed each an envelope with cash . . . it was about $1,000 and that was the most money I had ever made, or saw, through music.  It was just so kind and amazing.” Robert auditioned and joined Metallica in 2003 when they needed a bass player. He said, quote, “Being in a band like Metallica . . . it requires a lot more than just being able to play the songs . . . You’ve got to get along with your people, and you’ve got to understand how to gauge the territory.” (LINK)

Celebrating a Birthday today: 

Darci Lynne Farmer is 17. Ventriloquist / singer who won “America’s Got Talent” when she was 12. 

He played Peeta in the Hunger Games movies, Josh Hutcherson is 29. 

Marion Jones is 46. Track & field athlete . . . and admitted steroid injector. She returned the five medals she “won” at the Sydney Olympics in 2000. 

Mike Seaver from Growing Pains, Kirk Cameron is 51. 

Hugh Jackman is 53. 

The old Man vs. Food guy Adam Rich is 53.


Randy West

Today’s birthday he-whore has been 1506 in fine films, including:

– 2 Times A Virgin

– Aunt Peg Goes Hollywood

– Barbara the Barbarian

– Beverly Hills Copulator

– Bimbo Bowlers from Boston

– Bimbo Bowlers from Buffalo

– Gentlemen Prefer Ginger

– The Last Little Whorehouse

– Wild Wild Chest 1

– And who can forget his role in 1991’s Tails From The Zipper 1

Randy West is 74 years old.

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Michael Jordan’s Game-Worn Nike Air Ship Could Be the Most Expensive Sneakers Ever – LINK

Jon Gruden has resigned as coach of the Las Vegas Raiders. This comes after more leaked emails between 2010 and 2018 reveal that not only did Gruden use racial tropes to describe NFL Players Association Executive Director DeMaurice Smith, he also had a habit of using misogynistic and homophobic language to put down players, staff members, and even NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. Emails allegedly show that he used disgusting language to express that he wasn’t down with female refs or St. Louis’ decision to draft Michael Sam, an openly gay player. He also allegedly sent an email saying that 49ers Eric Reid should have been fired for protesting the National Anthem.  In a statement Monday night, Gruden said, “I love the Raiders and do not want to be a distraction. Thank you to all the players, coaches, staff, and fans of Raider Nation. I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt anyone.”

So what exactly did he say?  I don’t want to get into too much detail and you can look most of this up yourself…but…he called Roger Goddell a clueless p-word.  He said that Jeff Fisher would be the guy to draft Michael Sam and used some homophobic language.  He used racist language when discussing the head of the NFLPA.  He also said that the owner of the Bucs could perform a certain sex act on him.  You can find exactly what he said online – some of it is pretty gnarly.

As far as actual on the field action – last night the Ravens beat the Colts 31-25 in OT. The big story is that the Ravens had only 86 yards rushing in the game which means that they fell short of setting the record for most consecutive games with over 100 yards rushing.  They tie the record at 17.  Lamar Jackson threw for 4 TDs, 442 yards, and no interceptions.  Carson Wentz tossed 402 yards and 2 scores with zero picks.  Great performance from both QBs.

Switching to baseball…the Boston Red Sox have eliminated the best team in the AL after a walk off RBI hit got them the 6-5 win.  They win that series 3-1.  The Braves shut out the Brewers last night 3-0 and now lead that series 2-1.   The Giants and Dodgers had a real slugfest as the Giants picked up a 1-0 win and lead that series 2-1.  And Game 4 of the Astros and White Sox was rained out but will play today at 1:00PM.  Houston is up 2-1 in that series.  Yesterday – there was a bit of controversy even though the Astros and White Sox didn’t even take the field.  A relief pitcher for the White Sox said that the Astro’s have a history of doing some “sketchy stuff.”

So tonight it’s the Penguins and Lightning at 6:30 to kick off the 2021 NHL Season and the late game has the Kraken debuting against the Golden Knights…and the Kraken aren’t starting things off very good…The Kraken are expected to be without five players for the season opener at Vegas due to COVID-19 protocols. Three forwards including Jared McCann and Marcus Johansson, and one defenseman were placed on the league’s COVID-19 protocol list. Another player has been in the protocol since late last week.  Seattle also announced that Mark Giordano will be the team’s first captain. Former Blue Jaden Schwartz was named an alternate captain.

After staying away for two weeks to start the NBA preseason, 76ers All-Star guard Ben Simmons reported to the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia on Monday night — much to the surprise of an organization that had expected him later in the week. As the Sixers neared the tip of a 115-104 preseason victory over the Brooklyn Nets, Simmons — fresh off a flight from Los Angeles — entered the arena to take a COVID-19 test and start the process of returning to a franchise from which he has requested a trade. The Sixers are desperate to restart communication with the three-time All-Star who hasn’t had a direct conversation with the front office or coach Doc Rivers since a late August meeting in which he reiterated his desire for a trade. Under the terms of the NBA’s collective bargaining agreement, Simmons lost roughly $360,000 for each of the two preseasons game he missed. The 76ers are believed to have fined Simmons for missed practices: $2,500 for the first, $5,000 for the second, $7,500 for the third and for every practice after.

Tiger Woods is on the comeback trail after a devastating car accident in California earlier this year.  A source said Tiger has made a remarkable recovery in the past few months. It’s like every day he can do more, he can handle more, the pain is less and he’s feeling better.  Back in February, Tiger’s doctors said he “suffered significant orthopedic injuries to his right lower extremity” after his vehicle crashed. Many thought it was the end for Tiger. According to the source, Tiger has said he will return.  He even has a date in mind but he isn’t sharing that with anyone. Woods was on the course last weekend as an observer. He was watching his 12-year-old son Charlie compete in a junior golf tournament.

Yesterday it was a different type of pressure for former NBA player JR Smith.  Yesterday he wasn’t at the free throw line…he was lining up tee shots as a 36-year-old freshman walk-on playing his first college golf tournament for North Carolina A&T. He shot a 12-over-par 83 in Round 1 and then a 7-over 78 in Round 2