Crap on Celebrities
#CrapOnCelebrities: Kim and Kanye welcomed their third child on Monday, the #MeToo movement is about to be way more in fashion, 20 songs that turn 20 this year, and MORE!
KIM and KANYE have another kid. Their third child was born via surrogate on Monday. It’s a girl. Kim made the announcement on her website yesterday. There’s no word yet on the baby’s name, or when she’ll get her first cosmetic procedure. A source says Kim and Kanye were in the delivery room for the birth. North is 4 years old. Saint is 2.
They have been offered multi-million dollar deals to provide first photos of their new baby … and they have REJECTED all of them. Websites and magazines started making offers months ago. All of the offers were between $2 and $5 million. The offers were never entertained … they were immediately rejected. They would never consider taking money for the first photos of the baby … doing so would violate their morals.
ALEC BALDWIN thinks it’s “unfair and sad” that actors who’ve worked with WOODY ALLEN are denouncing him . . . because Woody was investigated by two states, and no charges were ever filed. This came after three actors from Woody’s upcoming movie announced they were donating their pay to anti-abuse charities. Meanwhile, DYLAN FARROW did an interview for tomorrow’s “CBS This Morning”, where she says she’s telling the truth about Woody abusing her. In 1992, Dylan Farrow, the adopted daughter of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow, accused Allen of sexually assaulting her when she was 7 years old. Allen has repeatedly denied those allegations.
SELENA GOMEZ is in Woody’s new movie. It’s called “A Rainy Day in New York”, and someone hit up Selena’s MOM on social media, saying Selena should apologize. She said she tried to talk Selena out of doing the movie but, quote, “It didn’t click.” However, a source told “People” that Selena has made donations to the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund that “far exceed” her salary for the movie.
Matt Damon apologized yesterday for those comments he made a few weeks back saying there were varying degrees of misconduct and the punishment should reflect that. His point was that we shouldn’t judge the misconduct on the standard of the violent crimes, but of course people assumed he was trying to downplay the seriousness of sexual assault.
ASHLEIGH BANFIELD told TMZ she was TREMBLING before she went on the air to attack AZIZ ANSARI’s accuser . . . and she was worried she might actually lose her job.
The #MeToo movement is about to be way more in fashion … if Hard Candy Cosmetics gets its way. They applied to trademark #MeToo for fragrances and makeup … which means you’ll see the hashtag on lipsticks, nail polishes, mascaras and whatnot. CEO Jerome Falic says it is not cash grab. He says the company’s intention is to give back to women worldwide. Industry sources says the plan is to donate proceeds to the #MeToo cause.
Mel Gibson’s ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva claims the domestic violence she suffered from while with Gibson left her with post-traumatic stress disorder, and claims the legal stress she endured contributed to the development of a tumor. Court documents show she has “been diagnosed with PTSD due to domestic violence and the protracted, expensive and difficult paternity battle I had to endure.” Gibson was charged with misdemeanor battery against her and ultimately cut a plea deal with prosecutors in 2011. Along with PTSD, she says the whole ordeal actually caused her to grow a tumor near her brain. She says the only subsequent change in the paternity case was the court order for rent free accommodation to her daughter and herself as compensation for domestic violence. She filed as part of her fight with an accounting firm that claims she owes them $108,000 for work done during her paternity battle with Gibson.
There are so many ’70s, ’80s, and even ’90s acts touring together these days . . . but very few of them have this kind of star power: DEF LEPPARD and JOURNEY are hitting the road together in May. There hasn’t been an official announcement yet, and no dates have been released. In an Instagram post, guitarist NEAL SCHON said, quote, “Journey and Def Leppard comin’ soon!”
Every January, someone tries to make you feel old by reminding you of all the stuff that’s going to turn 20 in the coming year. Today, that someone is ME. Here’s a list of 20 songs that turn 20 in 2018 . . .
“Back That Azz Up”, Juvenile
“Angel”, Sarah McLachlan
“I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”, Aerosmith
“One Week”, Barenaked Ladies
“Iris”, The Goo Goo Dolls
“Closing Time”, Semisonic
“Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It”, Will Smith
“Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)”, The Offspring
“Freak on a Leash”, Korn
“Bawitdaba”, Kid Rock
“. . . Baby One More Time”, Britney Spears
“Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)”, The Backstreet Boys
After one of the most private celebrity pregnancies of all time, former tennis star Anna Kournikova and singer/actor Enrique Iglesias finally confirmed this week that they had welcomed twins, reportedly born in December. The Miami-based couple said nothing about the birth until now but shared pictures of what appears to be both twins on Tuesday. The babies rumored to be a boy and a girl named Nicholas and Lucy.
Disgraced YouTuber Logan Paul wants a second chance after being publicly excoriated for posting a video of an apparent suicide victim in Japan. He said: “Everyone deserves second chances, bro,” adding that he has learned “everything, so many things” since the scandal broke. In an apology video after uploading the initial clip, he told fans “I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment and I don’t expect to be forgiven.” On January 9th, YouTube removed him from its Google Preferred ad service and pulled the plug on several upcoming projects.
A new video just came out of Hannibal Buress while he was getting arrested in Miami last month for disorderly intoxication. And he’s cracking jokes and making fun of the cop. He also gets upset at one point and starts shouting about his rights.
MARILYN MANSON is still recovering from the broken leg he suffered when a stage prop fell on him during a show last year. A few days ago, he suffered ANOTHER onstage mishap. But this one wasn’t quite as serious. Not long after Manson launched into “The Beautiful People”, his PANTS FELL DOWN. And a fan caught the whole thing on video. Luckily . . . or maybe not . . . he was facing away from the crowd at the time. But he didn’t want to interrupt the song, so instead of bending over to pull them up, he motioned for a roadie to come out and do it for him. Later in the song, he made up for it by inviting a female fan onstage to dance TOPLESS.
Who said it… “All my assets are real.” “I haven’t had any [plastic surgery]. I’ve done lasers and got [filler] injections under my eyes for the hollowing . . . which I’d recommend for everyone who wants a solution for their dark circles.” “If someone wants a nose job that makes them feel better, and they love their profile more because of it, it’s like ‘Go ahead!’ “Do whatever makes you feel better about yourself.”
A. Kate Upton
B. Dolly Parton
C. **Katy Perry**
D. Iggy Azalea
E. Kim Kardashian
F. Mariah Carey
Movie theaters were banned in the early ’80s under pressure from strict Islamists . . . but Saudi Arabia has been catching up with the times more and more over the past year or so. They even let women drive now. They lifted the ban on movie theaters, and what did they choose to celebrate it with? “The Emoji Movie”. That steaming pile of waste was one of a few feature-length, animated children’s films that screened in a temporary theater this weekend. Legit movie theaters are also part of that plan. And let’s be honest . . . as bad as “The Emoji Movie” was, it had to be a thrill for these people just to experience a night out at the movies.
When American movies go to other countries, they usually change the titles and then the foreign titles get re-translated to English, the results can
1. Adam Sandler’s “Anger Management” was re-branded “New York Style Happy Therapy”.
2. “Being John Malkovich” was re-titled “Malkovich’s Hole”.
3. “American Pie: The Reunion” was changed to “American Pie Pie Pie”.
4. “Life of Pi” was lengthened, in an attempt to drum up interest, to “Life of Pi: 227 Days Adrift with a Tiger”.
5. “Despicable Me” was re-titled “Phantom Thief Gru and the Moon Theft”.
6. “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” was changed to “SpongeBob: Everyone in the Sea Saves the World”.
7. Jaden Smith’s “Karate Kid” reboot was called “Best Kid”, for some reason.
8. “The Evil Dead” was changed to “The Ghost’s Intestines”.
9. “Army of Darkness” was rebranded “Captain Supermarket”.
10. The Justin Timberlake movie “Friends with Benefits” is called “Stay Friends”, which is probably good advice in those situations.
11. The Rock’s “Tooth Fairy” movie was changed to “The Fairy Fighter”.
12. Big Boi and Lil Wayne’s golf comedy “Who’s Your Caddy” needed to be changed because the pun wouldn’t translate . . . so it became “We Are Hip-Hop Golfers”.
“Semi-Pro” is “We Are Dunk Shooters” . . . “Blades of Glory” is “We Are Figure Skaters” . . . and “Anchorman 2” is “We Are Newscasters: History’s Lowest!? Viewership Battle in New York”
Calvin Harris is 34. Scottish DJ
Dwyane Wade is 36. NBA superstar on the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Zooey Deschanel is 38. The “New Girl
Kid Rock is 47.
Michelle Obama is 54.
Jim Carrey is 56.
Susanna Hoffs is 59. Singer for the Bangles.
Steve Harvey is 61.
Maury Povich is 79.
James Earl Jones is 87.
Today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY…She was a staple on TV with a few other white haired sassy broads….and then she went away…and then out of nowhere…she had a resurgence…and unfortunately…we haven’t seen here in a hot minute…but she’s celebrating a birthday today….Betty White is 96 years young.
Today’s birthday girl has seen more crack than Miami Beach in 321 fine films including:
- Anal Holiday
- Boobwatch: Land Ho!
- The Buttsisters Do The Twin Cities
- Talk Dirty To Me
- Anal Aristocrats
- That Smells Like Sex
- And who could forget…her unforgettable role in….Dales House Of Anal
NICI STERLING is 50 YEARS OLD