The Top Do’s and Don’ts for Easter Weekend
Easter weekend is upon us, and to help you make sure it’s awesome, check out this list of The Top Do’s and Don’ts for Easter Weekend.
Don’t invite anyone to your Easter party who hasn’t been vaccinated. Or disapproves of cocaine.
Do hunt for eggs . . . just not on Gwyneth Paltrow’s website.
Do make sure the grass in your kid’s Easter basket is smokable.
Don’t hide eggs beneath Joe Biden’s dog. Unless you hate your kid.
Don’t tell your kid that Easter was cancelled because the Easter Bunny was arrested for selling meth.
Do attend church . . . but leave Lil Nas X’s Satan Shoes behind.
Do store extra Peeps in your car to use as a patch if your tire pops.
Don’t use egg dye to color your hair like Rudy Giuliani does.
Do make sure the Easter Bunny your kids pose with looks terrifying. It makes a better picture.
Do fill your kid’s Easter basket with candy, chocolate, and anything else you’ll eat once you put them down for a nap.
Do be creative when coloring eggs . . . just avoid doing one with a confederate flag on it.
Do wear an Easter bonnet, especially if it’s poker night.
Don’t buy plastic grass. Unless you want to find it again later in your tuna sandwich.
If you have daughters, DON’T invite Matt Gaetz!
A Mom’s April Fools’ Day Prank Is Telling Her Daughter She Got Shot . . . and She Gets Arrested – KWCH
A Suspect Gives the Cops a Fake Name . . . But That Person Had Warrants, So He Gets Arrested Anyway – ClickOnDetroit
A Car Theft Suspect Is Caught When He Shows Up to Court in a Stolen Car – News10
A Guy Says His Meth Is Actually Salt Treatment for His Ingrown Toenail – TheSmokingGun
A Guy Facing Driving Charges Takes His Court Zoom in His Car – Jalopink
A Man Defrauded Hotels by Pretending to Book Rooms for the Wu-Tang Clan – Complex
A Car Thief Stops to Help Someone with a Flat Tire, and They Steal His Stolen Car – WJLA
A Man Who Crashed into a Shoe Store Says He Was Aiming for the Dispensary and Vape Shop Next Door . . . to Rob Them – Fox2Now
Two Denny’s Waiters Fight Over Who’s Going to Serve a Plate of Chicken Tenders . . . Turns Out They Both Have Warrants – Fox16
An Influencer Got a QR Code to His Instagram Page Tattooed on His Neck . . . But It Doesn’t Work – News18
A Mafia Fugitive Is Caught When He Posts a YouTube Cooking Video – TheGuardian
A Guy Has to Go to the ER After Having Sex with His Wife Through a Door – DailyStar
A Naked Man Walking Down the Street Says He Was Doing the “Walk of Shame” – TheSmokingGun
Dear Abby posted a letter yesterday from a woman who’s unhappy her husband has a fetish for, quote, “women with amputations.” (Full Story)
Kevin Smith’s Mooby’s Pop-Up Restaurant Coming to St. Louis in April – RFT
Here’s Every State’s Favorite Easter Treat . . . Which in 14 States Means Hard Boiled Eggs – Zippia
Companies Were Back to Their April Fools’ Day Jokes Yesterday After a Year Off
1. Velveeta (link) made an ad for a fake line of skin care products made out of liquid cheese.
2. Outback Steakhouse (link) made fake lipsticks that are the colors of the different cooking temperatures for steaks.
3. Lego (link) made an ad for “SmartBricks” that move out of your way as you walk so you won’t step on them. (This is probably the best one of the day.)
4. Bud Light Seltzer (link) announced a pizza flavor.
5. Green Giant and Peeps (link) teamed up to announce cauliflower-flavored Peeps.
6. Duolingo (link) created a toilet paper that also teaches you a foreign language.
7. And Jif (link) made exfoliating face masks made from peanut butter.
The Facial Hair Style Each State Googles More Than Other States – Zippia
Woman sentenced to five years for fatal silicone butt injection at St. Louis hotel – Fox2Now
Here’s How the Second Pandemic Easter Will Look Different Than the First –WalletHub
FDA: Sabra Recalling Over 2,000 Cases Of Hummus Due To Salmonella Concerns – Forbes
Woman claims human flesh found in frozen fruit from Walmart – ReviewJournal
A Woman on a Tinder Date Jumps in a Muddy River to Save the Guy’s Dog – Mirror
A Study Found Stretching Lowers Blood Pressure More Than Walking – USASK
Covid Chaos: Ferrari and Lamborghini Sales Are Way Up Because Rich People Got Bored During the Pandemic – CNN
Eating Breakfast Can Help You Get Promoted – Yahoo
Remember the technicality from Match Up with Moon. The answer was International Business Machines and one of you guys said Machine? We got through it as friends and competitors with obviously a lot on the line. Now the issue is with Wheel of Fortune after another contestant got burned by a technicality. On Wednesday, a guy named David Pederson solved a puzzle and knew all the words, but… If you watch the show, they’ve been peppering in these crossword-style puzzles since 2016 . . . and this “and” situation has come up before, which is why Pat warned the guy.
Bhad Bhabie just turned 18-years-old last week and she celebrated by launching an OnlyFans account, which is already breaking records. This is the girl who got big on Dr. Phil. She posted a screenshot showing she made $1,030,703.43 in just six hours, with over $750,000 of that total coming just from subscriptions to her page. Each subscriber to the page has to pay a $23.99 monthly fee and then there is likely extra content to purchase in the private messages section. Danielle pulled in $267,675 in extra fees from the private messages, plus over $5,500 in tips. “not bad for 6 hours 🤩 we broke the f–k out of that onlyfans record
MARGOT ROBBIE was asked about the rumored Director’s Cut of “Suicide Squad”. She don’t know about all that but she IS a fan of director cuts and if you want more ‘Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’
Eddie Murphy’s Coming 2 America was promoted as a big big deal. It came to Amazon with huge fanfare. Everyone talking about it and anticioation was massive. But did it actually do well? Yes of course it did. The Nielsen’s streaming rankings for the week of March 1-7 were 1.41 billion minutes of viewing time — making it one of the most watched films to debut on a streaming service in the six months Nielsen has been releasing weekly rankings. The 1.41 billion minutes of watch time for the Paramount-produced movie equates to about 12.8 million full showings of the film, based on its 110-minute running time. Wonder Woman 1984 is number 1 in viewing time for a debut week at 2.25 billion minutes on HBO Max
Godzilla vs. Kong did monster business on it opening day at the domestic box office, at least for the pandemic-era. It earned $9.6 million on Wednesday from 2,409 locations in North America, with the majority in the U.S. More than 93 percent of the U.S. marketplace is now in play, but only 24 percent of Canada, according to Warner Bros. By Friday, the movie will be playing in 3,064 cinemas, a pandemic high.
I have tragic news to report this morning about the new “Obi-Wan Kenobi” show on Disney+: Obi-Wan’s old buddy Jar Jar Binks will NOT be making an appearance. Someone asked AHMED BEST if he’d be back and he said, quote, “Thanks for the love, but I will not be in this series. As much as I would’ve loved to be a part of it. But I’m ecstatic to see folks who I love dearly back together doing great things.” Another fan asked if we’d see more Jar Jar in the future, and he said, quote, “I don’t know how likely either of those will be, but it brings me joy to know that I’ve brought joy to the galaxy.”
After getting moved from January to April 16th, Mortal Kombat’s film premiere date has been delayed again. The good news? It’s only been pushed back only one week, premiering on April 23rd instead. Deadline says studio execs want to give movie-goers some breathing room between the US release of Godzilla vs. Kong and Mortal Kombat. Godzilla vs. Kong is big overseas, pulling in over $121 million. The film has been released to more theaters than any other film during the pandemic and is streaming on HBO Max now.
Bonnaroo is set for 2021!After canceling the festival in 2020 due to COVID-19, Bonnaroo is set to return over Labor Day weekend in Tennessee. Foo Fighters will headline the festival on Friday night, September 3rd. Deftones, Incubus, Run The Jewels, Primus and more are also on the bill for Bonnaroo’s 20th anniversary weekend. Tickets at bonnaroo.com
.38 Special and ZZ Top are headlining Missouri’s Town & Country Fair on August 5th and 7th. Tickets for Missouri’s Town & Country Fair are on sale now at washmofair.com.
Some streaming shows coming:
Ratt frontman Stephen Pearcy will play a set from the Whisky A Go-Go tonight at 9 Get tickets at veeps.com.
Phil Anselmo and his band, The Illegals, will pay tribute to Pantera April 9th at 7. Tickets for A Vulgar Display of Pantera are up at IllegalsLive.com.
Sevendust has two back-to-back livestreams planned. The band will play their studio album, Seasons, in its entirety April 10th, then play their second album, Home, on April 11th. Get your tickets at nocapshows.com
Weezer and the LA Philharmonic and Youth Orchestra Los Angeles to debut their entire album, OK Human, live on Friday, April 16th at 9. VIP tickets for this one includes a 30 minute Q&A with Weezer after the show. Info is up at weezer.com.
Korn: Monumental marks the live debut of material from the band’s latest album, The Nothing, on April 24th. Ticket at KornLive.com
Staind is releasing a live album, Live: It’s Been Awhile, on May 7th and performing a two-part livestream series starting May 1st at Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut. The first livestream is Staind’s comeback show; the second, on May 8th, will see the band play Break The Cycle in its entirety to celebrate its 20th anniversary. Staindlive.com has your ticket details.
Bandsintown surveyed 7,688 fans and artists, and found that 86% of fans have watched a concert livestream over the past year. And 85% of artists plan to make streaming a “permanent part of their performing plans” going forward.
The service BandsInTown determined which music acts’ concerts have been streamed the most since the quarantine began last March. And here are the Top 20:
- Pearl Jam
- Metallica
- Billie Eilish
- Snow Patrol
- Tedeschi Trucks Band
- Elton John
- Bruce Springsteen
- Dave Matthews Band
- Radiohead
- Coldplay
- The Lumineers
- The Rolling Stones
- Taylor Swift
- Five Finger Death Punch
- Dropkick Murphys
- Death Cab for Cutie
- Lady Gaga
- Jason Mraz
- Zac Brown Band
- Third Eye Blind
The Cardinals came out scoring yesterday…and for a team that was third to last in scoring last season, that’s some real good news. The Cards opened their series with an 11-6 win over the Reds yesterday in Cincy. Paul Goldschmidt went 4 for 5. Nolan Arenado went 2 for 5 in his Cards debut. We saw both Dylan Carlson and Tyler O’Neil go deep in the win. And Giovanny Gallegos picked up the win. The team teams meet again tomorrow with a game at 3:10….Adam Wainwright gets the start.
The Blues currently are on a 4 game losing streak but look to break that as they are in Colorado for a two game series against the Avalanche. The first game is tonight at 8PM. The team also plays tomorrow at 8PM.
Speaking to reporters ahead of Thursday’s game against the Hornets, Nets star Kevin Durant addressed his recent Twitter feud with actor Michael Rapaport, who posted several direct messages from Durant that included aggressive and profane language. “I’m sorry that people have seen the language I used. That’s not what I want people to see or hear from me.” The tweets shared by Rapaport show mostly Durant’s messages, in which he hurls insults at Rapaport, including one in which he asks for the actor’s address. Nets coach Steve Nash said he addressed the issue in a private conversation with Durant. The two-time NBA Finals MVP has been out since Feb. 13 with a hamstring injury. Durant is well-known for his avid social media use, which frequently result in conflicts. He initially addressed Rapaport’s release of his DMs by saying the two talk “crazier” than that on a regular basis.
The last time Roy Williams left North Carolina, he was a virtually unknown assistant who was getting his first shot as a college head coach at tradition-rich Kansas. Now Williams is retiring, leaving the Tar Heels again with a highlight reel of honors — as a Hall of Famer with more than 900 wins, three national championships and 33 seasons of success. Williams has spent 18 seasons at UNC, going 485-163 while leading the Tar Heels to national titles in 2005, 2009 and 2017. He also coached Kansas for 15 seasons, taking it to four Final Four appearances before leaving for his alma mater.
The women’s FINAL FOUR takes place tonight. South Carolina, Stanford, UConn, and Arizona all try and punch their ticket to the finals. Yesterday the NCAA released a hype video for the Final Four…it included highlights from South Carolina, Stanford, UConn….and that’s it. Obviously Arizona was pissed and the NCAA quickly realized their error and took down the video and apologized but, yet another not great move by the NCAA when it comes to the Women’s College Basketball Tournament. The winner of the two games tonight meet in the finals on Sunday.
On the men’s side of things…Houston takes on Baylor and UCLA will take on Gonzaga tomorrow. The championship game will take place on Monday.
After a two-day war of words with the UFC, Jon Jones has made it pretty clear to his boss Dana White that he wants released, tweeting “Please cut me already. Just f***ing let me go.” Jones, who is 20-1 with UFC, wants to be paid more than his current rate to fight the new champ. White’s not having it, saying after UFC 260 ““Listen, I can sit here all day and tell you, what’s show me the money mean? I tell you guys this all the time. You can say you want to fight somebody, but do you really want to?” The back and forth led Jones to go off on in a series of now-deleted tweets, saying he wants out of UFC. Jones wrote “I feel like my wings are being clipped” and “Obviously, the boss hates me. Let me take my business elsewhere.” It’s unlikely Jones will be cut from UFC anytime soon, seeing as he’s one of the best MMA fighters out there.
And finally – during the Dodgers/Rockies game yesterday — Cody Bellinger hit a homer — and was called out before he could finish his trot. It was an honest mistake on a bizarre play for Bellinger, Justin Turner and the Dodgers in their 8-5 loss. Bellinger lined what appeared to be a two-run homer to left-center in the third inning — a ball that hit off the glove of the outfielder and bounded over the fence. Turner was on first base at the time and believed the ball was caught. As he retreated to first base, Bellinger passed him in the confusion, prompting umpires to call him out. Turner was allowed to jog home, and Bellinger was officially credited with a single and an RBI — but no home run.