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You’re Broke You Old Meat Cleaver

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A Woman Attacked Her Ex and Pooped on His Doorstep When He Poured Wine Into the Wrong Type of Glass – Metro

There’s a 41-year-old woman named Deka Ahmed in London.  And back on April 15th, she broke quarantine to visit her 28-year-old ex-boyfriend named Silvestrs Rullis.

She showed up at his house with a bottle of wine, and he invited her inside.  But then, he poured the wine into TUMBLERS instead of WINE GLASSES.

World Champion Gymnast Kurt Thomas Dead at 64: ‘I Lost My Universe,’ Says WifePeople

The Hottest New Trend Is . . . Meat Cleaver Massages – BBC

Bezos’ wealth stacked in $1 bills would hit ISS space station … 30 times – WealthProfessional

If You Won the Lottery, Would You Split It 50/50 with Your Significant Other? – SNWSDigital

Is Sexuality a Spectrum? Americans Aren’t Really Sure – YouGov

Scientists Identified the 47 Traits That Make You Good at Flirting – ScienceDirect

7 Suspicious Dating Behaviors That You Should Watch Out For – EliteDaily

 

After Mark Wahlberg posted in support of Black Lives Matter recently, online commenters have taken issue with the actor’s own ugly racial history. Wahlberg posted on Instagram, writing, “The murder of George Floyd is heartbreaking. We must all work together to fix this problem. I’m praying for all of us. God bless,” with a photo of Floyd. Some commenters began calling him a “hypocrite,” citing his own racial incidents when he was a teen over 30 years ago. “If you still don’t know what white privilege is, Mark Wahlberg committed hate crimes, has a Wikipedia section dedicated to it, and we never ever talk about it,” one commenter wrote. Other users then noted that Wahlberg’s Wikipedia entry had been edited. “I was today years old when I found out Mark Wahlberg has an ENTIRE hate crimes section on his Wikipedia page. Someone (likely on his team) has also changed the header because it now reads ‘controversy.'” The site has since been changed back to read Hate Crimes, and in it, describes a June 1986 incident in which he and friends chased three black children while yelling racial slurs. A second incident is also described in which the actor assaulted a middle-aged Vietnamese man based on his ethnicity, knocking him unconscious. He was later sentenced to two years in jail, but only ended up serving 45 days, the site says. 

Paramount Network has “no plans” to air Cops anytime soon and A&E has issued a statement about putting Live PD on hold, at least for the time being:

“Out of respect for the families of George Floyd and others who have lost their lives, in consultation with the departments we follow, and in consideration for the safety of all involved, we have made the decision not to broadcast ‘Live PD’ this weekend.” 

Elmer Fudd is going to have a MUCH harder time catching Bugs Bunny in the new Looney Tunes cartoons airing on HBO Max . . . because he’s not allowed to carry a gun anymore.  And neither is anyone else. Obviously, the change was made as a response to gun violence in the U.S., but one of the producers says “cartoony violence [like] TNT [and] the Acme stuff” is still allowed. Elmer actually got his gun taken away a while back, but nobody noticed.  In a Looney Tunes short called “Dynamite Dance that hit YouTube last year, he goes after Bugs with a SCYTHE . . . you know, the thing the Grim Reaper carries. But Bugs proceeds to blow Elmer up repeatedly with what appears to be a metric ton of dynamite. Things may not be TOO sanitized though.  The producer says, quote, “We’re going through this wave of anti-bullying, ‘everyone needs to be friends,’ ‘everyone needs to get along.’ “Looney Tunes is pretty much the antithesis of that.  It’s two characters in conflict, sometimes getting pretty violent.”  

YouTube’s four-hour “Dear Class of 2020” special included speeches and performances by the Obamas, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Seth Rogen, Billie Eilish, Justin Timberlake, Jennifer Lopez . But Check out this cover of U2’s “Beautiful Day“, featuring Finneas, Chris Martin, Camila Cabello, Ty Dolla $ign, Tove Lo and more

During the “Dear Class of 2020” special, Jimmy Kimmel offered up some advice to the graduates.  “Never show up late with a coffee in your hand.”

Kristen Bell talked to “Entertainment Tonight” about life in quarantine, and said homeschooling her kids still sucks 

video of Herman Munster talking to his son about the acceptance of others is making the rounds.  Maybe we should have just listened to him back in 1965

The not-always-reliable British tabloids say that James Bond is now a FATHER.  In the new movie, “No Time to Die”, he’ll have a 5-year-old daughter named Mathilde.  The mom is Dr. Madeleine Swann, played by LEA SEYDOUX. A so-called “source” says, quote, “Yes, it’s true. Bond is a dad.  Daniel [Craig] wanted to make this Bond film the most surprising and entertaining yet. “Daniel is older and his Bond is maturing and looking at life through the prism of fatherhood . . . Making him a father opens up a whole new world in terms of drama and story development.” The source adds, quote, “Bond appears to be happy in his new domestic life but then, of course, he gets dragged back in to save the world.” 

BIRTHDAYS

Sturgill Simpson is 42.

Maria Menounos is 42.

Kanye West is 43.   

Julianna Margulies is 54.   

Keenen Ivory Wayans is 62.

Scott Adams is 63.  Dilbert creator.

Bonnie Tyler is 69.  Total Eclipse of the Heart

Nancy Sinatra is 80.  Frank’s daughter, who gave us These Boots Are Made For Walkin’

And today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY….he unfortunately just passed away this year.  He was one of the best.  Everything he is in, he was somebody’s dad.  Whether on Seinfeld or King of Queens, he was the best.  Ben’s dad.  Jerry Stiller would have been 93 today. 

The NFL APOLOGIZED for the way it has dealt with black players’ concerns about racism, and vowed to do better. They did NOT mention kneeling during the national anthem or COLIN KAEPERNICK by name, but here’s what we got: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell posted a video saying, quote, “We, the National Football League, condemn racism and the systematic oppression of Black people. We, the National Football League, admit we were wrong for not listening to NFL players earlier and encourage all to speak out and peacefully protest.  We, the National Football League, believe Black Lives Matter . . .We are listening, I am listening, and I will be reaching out to players who have raised their voices and others on how we can improve and go forward for a better, more united NFL family.”  The apology came a day after a video was released featuring several NFL stars calling on the league to make things right.  The players included Patrick MahomesEzekiel ElliottOdell Beckham Jr., and Saquon Barkley.

 

If the 2020 Major League Baseball season is going to happen, the players and the owners have to come to some sort of an agreement pretty soon. Starting any later than Aug. 1 probably means the season is ruined and we’re getting to the point that starting much before that is off the table if any more weeks go by without a deal.  As such, perhaps there is starting to be some urgency?  The owners are having a conference call on Monday to discuss going back to the players with plans on how to get the season going.  Previously, the owners rejected the players’ proposal of a 114-game season with player salaries being paid on a pro-rated basis. The owners countered by finally agreeing to pro-rated salaries — they previously had balked at this with the plan involving no fans at games — though they reportedly only want to play somewhere in the range of 40-60 games.  The players continue to hold fast that they will not accept less than pro-rated salaries. The only leverage they have left if the owners try to push through a 50-game season is rejecting expanded playoffs — which the owners desperately want for those almighty TV dollars.

Former NFL receiver Reche Caldwell has reportedly died after being shot in Tampa, Florida. He was on a date Saturday night with his girlfriend, who said the couple was “ambushed” by multiple people trying to rob him. He was reportedly shot in the chest and leg and died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. There are currently no reports of an arrest regarding this incident. Caldwell was a second-round pick in the 2002 draft out of Florida and spent six years in the NFL with the Chargers, Patriots and Redskins. Caldwells was 41 years old.

Conor McGregor might have announced his retirement Sunday morning, but Floyd Mayweather Jr. wondered if the former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion could still have some unfinished business. McGregor shared a photo of a retirement cake he received to his various social media accounts.. He retired for the first time in April 2016 and then again in March 2019. McGregor’s representatives had been in discussions with UFC about a July fight but were unable to reach any sort of agreement. The identity of his opponent—not financial details—was the biggest source of the impasse. Perhaps fighting Mayweather could be his next step. The two faced off in August 2017, with Mayweather securing a 10th-round TKO. McGregor referenced an “inevitable rematch” on Twitter in May and said he’d come out on the winning end the second time around.  The full payouts weren’t disclosed, but reports say Mayweather was guaranteed at least $100 million and McGregor took home a minimum of $30 million.

Boxer Mikaela Mayer announced on Instagram Sunday that she would not be fighting Helen Joseph during Tuesday’s Top Rank boxing card after testing positive for COVID-19.  “It came as a complete surprise. I am currently asymptomatic and am quarantining at an off-site location per recommended guidelines,” she wrote. “The rest of my team tested negative and they are all in good health. I was really looking forward to bringing back boxing for all of you and I’m disappointed for myself, my team, my supporters and for my opponent, Helen Joseph, who worked just as hard to be here this week and put on a show for everyone.” Once a boxer tests positive for the coronavirus, they are immediately taken off the Top Rank card and quarantined. Mayer (12-0) had been training in Houston ahead of her fight with Joseph and said in May that it concerned her when the gym where she was training, Main Street Boxing, had reopened to the public.

The NBA is moving toward restarting its season with 22 teams playing games at Disney World in Orlando, now that the NBA Player’s Association has approved further negotiations on the plan. One issue they’ll face is playing games without fans in the arena, and according to reports, discussions are ongoing but there’s a proposal to pipe in crowd noise from the NBA 2K video game. NBA 2K also serves as the platform for the league’s official esports series and has already simulated its own end to the 2019-2020 regular season, and its attention to details of the basketball experience may help fill in the blanks. Some leagues that have returned to action during the coronavirus pandemic already use piped-in sound, including Bundesliga soccer, and Sky Sports is planning to use EA’s FIFA 20 game to a similar effect on Premier League broadcasts.

The Indianapolis 500 will apparently only happen as scheduled on Aug. 23 if fans are permitted to attend amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Indianapolis Motor Speedway and IndyCar Series owner Roger Penske said the race would be postponed until October if fans are not allowed at the speedway on the planned August date. Penske came to the decision following conversations with the Indiana governor and the mayor of Indy. This year’s edition of the famous race will be the 104th.

Kevin Harvick won the Folds of Honor Quiktrip 500 at the Atlanta Motor Speedway on Sunday, taking control of the race down the stretch to claim his 51st career win. He held off Kyle Busch, who finished second, and Martin Truex Jr., who finished third after winning the first two stages. Ryan Blaney and Denny Hamlin rounded out the top five.  Scary moment after the race when this happened while interviewing Bubba Wallace.