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Nikki Glaser And The Wet Moist Mess

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Two arrested after flipping tables at Kingsport Applebee’s when bartender announced last call – WJHL

Two men were arrested after flipping tables at an Applebee’s in Kingsport when the bar manager announced last call for alcohol.

According to reports from the Kingsport Police Department, Derringer Barton, 23, of Surgoinsville, and Blakely Marsh, 21, of Mount Carmel, were arrested Saturday night in the parking lot of the Applebee’s on East Stone Drive.

Which Fast Food Burgers Taste Best Delivered? – UPROXX

Police Catch a Trespasser When He Showers in Someone Else’s House – WFMZ

Man attacks shopper who didn’t thank him for holding open door to Lakeland liquor store, deputies say – WFLA

Missouri Gaming Commission extends order closing casinos through May – Fox2NOw

Quarantine fatigue is REAL . . . but since Americans aren’t getting unified advice from the federal government on what to do, we’re just improvising.  And that means taking WAY more chances, regardless of the status of the virus.

 The World Health Organization issued a warning yesterday that this virus may never go away and we’ll have to learn to live with it.  Quote, “HIV has not gone away, but we have come to terms with the virus.”

Americans drank 55% more alcohol than usual last month . . . and 36% of Americans said they increased their use of drugs, including marijuana and prescription opioids.

A company is selling fake boobs and fake muscles for people to wear for dates over Zoom.

Clothing sales continued to drop in April . . . except in one category.  Pajama sales were up 143%.  Sales of things like pants, jackets, and bras were all down.

A Michelin-starred restaurant in the Washington D.C. area is re-opening . . . but to make the place feel less empty as people are spaced out at different tables, they’ve dressed up mannequins to sit in the rest of the seats.

The New York Department of Sanitation has launched a new YouTube channel . . . with cooking tips.

The Stark County Fair in Ohio is now doing a fair food drive-thru where people can drive their cars onto the fairgrounds and get foods from different vendors, including deep-fried Oreos and steak on a stick.

The pandemic may change toilets forever . . . since a flush can conceivably shoot tons of droplets of coronavirus-infected poop water into the air.

MELISSA ETHERIDGE announced that her 21-year-old son Beckett died of an opiod overdose.  She said, quote, “My heart is broken . . . we struggle with what else we could’ve done to save him, and in the end we know he is out of the pain now.” Beckett was the result of the sperm donation from David Crosby back in 1999.

The Rhino was booted from Maksed Singer last night. Here is the performance. eres your clues… He even co-wrote a song called “Butterflies,” which harkens back to a Rhino clue package with butterflies in it.  The judges guessed   Tim Tebow, Jason Aldean, Sam Hunt, and Tim McGraw. But the Rhino’s is 6’2″. One of the Rhino’s clues was about about “giants. One clues said “Missouri with a crown on top” clue, his wife is the former Miss Missouri, Amber Marie Seyer. The boat captain hat was a Navy reference and he was on one episode the Navy show J.A.G.  He also lives in Nashville, Tennessee, which explains the Tennessee flag clue. There was a pitcher like you serve tea with and sliders as in burgers. There were 3 quarters…as in 75.

Garth Brooks has just released four new tracks off his upcoming studio album, Fun. Nash Country Daily reports that “Party Gras,” “That’s What Cowboys Do,” “The Road I’m On,” and “Courage of Love” all debuted Tuesday exclusively on Amazon Prime. Their release comes after a fan named Jack asked Brooks about new music on the latest episode of his Facebook show, Inside Studio G. “Releasing some FUN since Jack requested it on #StudioG last night…so, NEW MUSIC IS HERE!!!!” Brooks wrote in a followup post. As for when Fun might finally drop, Brooks says, “The album’s ready to go. It’s just, how do you get out and promote and be happy and jolly while everybody’s out there fighting for their lives, not only physically, but fighting for their lives financially?” The latest batch of Fun tunes follow the release of three of the album’s previous tracks, “All Day Long,” “Stronger Than Me” and “Dive Bar.”

Moshing, crowdsurfing and crowding around the front of the stage should all be banned when live music finally returns. That’s one of the recommendations from the Event Safety Alliance in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic. “A few obvious changes will be necessary whenever events do reopen,” they say in a newly published guidebook. “Patrons cannot all stand at the front of the stage like they are accustomed; moshing and crowdsurfing are violations of social distancing, per se, and must be absolutely prohibited during this pandemic.” The guide also recommends other safety protocols, including staggering entry times into venues and contactless merchandise ordering

Aaron Carter is “going ballistic” over his ex girlfriend Melanie Martin’s debut in adult entertainment. Martin, who is allegedly pregnant with Carter’s child, made her livestream debut on the live video site CamSoda, where she performed with her “new girlfriend Vero.” Martin and Vero also reportedly released a sex tape. In a recent interview, Carter questioned the paternity of Martin’s child, and also said, she was “doing things behind my back she shouldn’t have been doing.” The source also said that Carter tried to deny Martin access to her computer, but that CamSoda provided equipment, although Carter’s rep told the outlet that was “fake news.”

Last we heard from Boosie Badazz, he was busy making fun of Dwyane Wade’s transgender daughter, Zaya. Well, this is worse: The rapper now claims he hired an adult woman to perform oral sex on his sons when they were 12 and 13 years old. “I’m training these boys right,” he said Monday on Instagram Live. “When they was 12, 13, they got head. Yeah, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Hell yeah I got my f**kin’ son d**k sucked.” He added, “Is she grown? She check me out. I know what the f**k she did to them, she checked me out, that b**ch. I’m getting them prepared, man.” He added that he also taught his kids how to put on condoms when they were about 9 or 10 years old. “That’s why they have iPhone 11s. They can watch as much porn as they want,” he also said. “It’s better than them watching cartoons with two men kissing.” Speaking of kissing, Boosie also claimed in an interview last week that he’s been offered a reality TV show much like Flavor of Love.

The title of this show is so misleading.  For a second, I thought HBO’s “Friends” reunion was gonna be REALLY good.  YouTube is launching a new reality show next week called “Sleeping with Friends”.  But it’s not what it sounds like. It’s a three-part series where people with sleep issues compete to see who can get the most restful night’s sleep. Producers filmed people in bed, and strapped gadgets to their foreheads to track their brain waves. Then each day, they’d look at things like how much REM sleep they got, and give them tips for improving their sleep the next night. Apparently the person who improves their sleep the most wins.  And it’s supposed to educate viewers on how to rest up. It hits YouTube next Wednesday, because it’s Mental Health Awareness Week in the U.K. 

MARY-KATE OLSEN is getting divorced . . . and it looks like it’s getting messy. Mary-Kate has been married to Olivier Sarkozy since 2015.  He’s a 50-year-old banker, and the half-brother of Nicolas Sarkozy, former President of France.  She’s 33 now. According to reports, Mary-Kate is accusing Olivier of forcing her out of her apartment.  He ended the lease on their apartment in New York City without telling her, and she needs to be out by this weekend. But she claims she can’t do it because of the city’s quarantine guidelines, and she wants to have until the end of the month. On top of that, Mary-Kate says the only way she can protect her property is if she’s able to file a divorce petition.  She DID sign one last month, but the courts were not accepting divorce filings due to the pandemic. She’s requesting an emergency order to allow her to file the divorce.  Fortunately,  “Us” magazine says she has an “ironclad” prenup.

MATT DAMON thinks we should’ve been more prepared for the coronavirus pandemic . . . if we saw his 2011 movie “Contagion”. He was on a radio program in Ireland.  Matt also said his oldest daughter contracted COVID-19, and has since recovered.  Quote, “She’s in [New York City], and she had COVID really early on along with her roommates and got through it fine . . . everybody’s okay.”  

Matthew McConaughey would love it if we could stop politicizing the coronavirus.  He went on Fox News and said this

Alanis Morissette and the producers of the Broadway musical “Jagged Little Pill” are doing a livestream benefit for COVID-19 relief.  It’ll take place next Tuesday night, through the Jagged Little Pill Facebook and YouTube channels.

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos have donated $500,000 to support homeless children and families.  The donation was made to “WIN,” an organization running 11 women’s shelters across New York City.

Former Papa John’s CEO John Schnatter recently did his own version of MTV’s “Cribs” . . . by showing off his $11 million Kentucky mansion on TikTok. Houses that expensive are bound to have some pretty ridiculous features, and it doesn’t take long for you to spot one in Papa John’s house. As soon as you walk in, you’re greeted with a MASSIVE sculpture, depicting two eagles mating.  It’s actually a clock, and the whole thing spins four times an hour.

Here’s a Throwback Thursday clip, when Meredith Vieira was hosting “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”.  She asks the contestant which planet is named after a figure in Greek mythology.  It could be Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, or Uranus.  The contest thinks out loud and then says, “I can’t even put a finger on Uranus.”  (The contestant chose Venus, which was wrong.  Here’s a longer version with the correct answer, which is . . . Uranus.)

Last night on “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy asked David Spade about it being the 25th anniversary of “Tommy Boy, This was gross and if you see it its even grosserer….Kristen Bell talked to Ellen DeGeneres yesterday and said Dax Shepard shattered his hand while doing some off-roading in his Polaris RZR UTV. 

BIRTHDAYS


Miranda Cosgrove
 
is 27

Rob Gronkowski is 31

Mark Zuckerberg is 36

Amber Tamblyn is 37

Cate Blanchett is 51

C.C. DeVille is 58.  Poison guitarist. 

Tom Cochrane is 67.  Life is a Highway

Robert Zemeckis is 68.  He directed “Forrest Gump”, the “Back to the Future” trilogy, “Romancing the Stone”“Who Framed Roger Rabbit”“Cast Away”“The Polar Express”“Welcome to Marwen”, and next year’s “The Witches”.

Today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY of the DAY has put his creative touch on MANY, MANY movies.  Including…Body Heat…Twice Upon A Time…Latino…Radioland Murders….and…a few other films you probably never head of like The Star Wars Saga and the Indiana Jones movies.  George Lucas is 76 years old today. 

BIRTHDAYS

Miranda Cosgrove is 27

Rob Gronkowski is 31

Mark Zuckerberg is 36

Amber Tamblyn is 37

Cate Blanchett is 51

C.C. DeVille is 58.  Poison guitarist. 

Tom Cochrane is 67.  Life is a Highway

Robert Zemeckis is 68.  He directed “Forrest Gump”, the “Back to the Future” trilogy, “Romancing the Stone”“Who Framed Roger Rabbit”“Cast Away”“The Polar Express”“Welcome to Marwen”, and next year’s “The Witches”.

Today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY of the DAY has put his creative touch on MANY, MANY movies.  Including…Body Heat…Twice Upon A Time…Latino…Radioland Murders….and…a few other films you probably never head of like The Star Wars Saga and the Indiana Jones movies.  George Lucas is 76 years old today. 

Rays pitcher Blake Snell is ready to remain on the sidelines this year if MLB owners continue to push for revenue-sharing with the players. Snell said, “I’m risking my life.” MLB owners approved a proposal requiring all clubs to split revenue 50-50 with the MLB Players Association in a shortened season and will now look for player support to strike a deal. Snell went on to say: “For me to take a pay cut is not happening. Because the risk is through the roof. It’s a shorter season. … No, I’ve got to get my money. I’m not playing unless I get my mine.” Snell is hardly the first player to voice that opinion. Cincinnati Reds Trevor Bauer was just as pissed yesterday over MLB’s proposal…a rep from the players association said this amounted to a money grab under the cover of a global health crisis. Here is what Trevor Bauer had to say.

Joe Buck has said that Fox is planning on pumping in crowd noise and putting virtual fans in the stands during broadcasts of NFL games in the 2020 season.  He said: “It’s pretty much a done deal. I think whoever is going to be at that control is going to have to be really good at their job and be realistic with how a crowd would react depending on what just happened on the field. So it’s real important.”

The NBA’s partnership with Spalding will reportedly come to an end after the 2020-21 season.  Wilson is set to become an exclusive partner with the league and will produce game balls for the NBA, WNBA, NBA G League, NBA 2K League and Basketball Africa League.  The NBA and Spalding, which has made official game balls for the league since 1983, agreed to a mutual parting of ways. A player advisory board will be named to offer suggestions about the new Wilson ball, which is expected to keep the same leather and specifications from the current model. 

As the 2020 college football season approaches, some conferences are beginning to prepare contingency plans in case their opponents are unable to play as a result of the pandemic. Several schools are having “preliminary discussions” about home-and-home series for this season should they need to replace games on this year’s slate.  On Tuesday, the NCAA President said that state officials and university presidents would have the final say about when to return to college sports, with the NCAA not requiring one set approach: “Normally there’s an agreed-upon start date for every sport, every season, but under these circumstances, now that’s all been derailed by the pandemic. It won’t be the conferences that can do that, either. It will be the local and state health officials that say whether or not you can open and play football with fans.” It remains unclear which conferences are discussing home-and-home series or when such a clause would need to be triggered in order to play the series. 

UFC president Dana White expects a lightweight bout between Khabib Nurmagomedov and Justin Gaethje to be staged on “Fight Island” next month. Gaethje turned his attention to a showdown with Khabib after beating Tony Ferguson at UFC 249 last weekend to take the interim title. Khabib was due to fight Ferguson in N.Y., last month, but that battle could not go ahead because of the pandemic, which has left Khabib stuck in Russia. Gaethje grasped his chance to replace Khabib and will now get his shot at the undefeated champ. White said the venue that has been christened “Fight Island” — a secret location off the coast of the United States — remains under construction but should be ready for the pair to lock horns by the end of June.

The South Korean women’s golf tour is starting again, with the KLPGA Championship opening on Thursday and being played without fans on the course. Women’s golf in South Korea joins Korea’s professional baseball and soccer leagues, which have already restarted. The tournament at the Lakewood Country Club, located east of the capital of Seoul, was originally schedule for April 30 through May 3. Organizers said social distancing will be practiced by players and tournament officials. Players will have hand sanitizer available. It was not clear if players will take coronavirus tests.

With the PGA Tour set to resume its revised schedule next month in Texas, a lengthy memo was sent to players outlining the various procedures that will be put in place, highlighted by a testing approach that will include coronavirus testing as well as daily thermal screens.  The PGA Tour has a news conference scheduled for Wednesday to outline the plan in more detail. The Charles Schwab Challenge at Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas, is the first of four events on the schedule that are planned to be played without spectators. The tour has arranged for charter flights between the events for players and caddies. Players, caddies and various tournament officials and employees will be required to fill out health questionnaires and will be sent pre-travel screening tests. They also will be required to take nasal swab/saliva tests upon arrival, likely at a designated hotel, followed by daily questionnaires and screenings. The idea behind the “Health & Safety Plan” is to create a “bubble” in which those in tournaments will operate, with the hope that they will isolate from the general public as much as possible.

A guy named Michael reportedly was arrested for threatening to bomb Darlington RacewayAccording to the arrest warrant, Michael was charged with possession, threatened or attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction for an act of terrorism after leaving phone messages at the track “describing a possible explosive device and the results it may create to further his cause.” Investigators at the Darlington County Sheriff’s Office also said Michael wrote a letter to another location revealing he had access to 125 tons of materials that could be used in creating a bomb. NASCAR is scheduled to return Sunday at Darlington Raceway for its first event since it went on hiatus because of the pandemic. The last completed NASCAR event was the FanShield 500 in Phoenix on March 8.

Major League Soccer’s plan to return to play during the  pandemic is solidifying, with the league proposing a summer tournament in Florida involving all 26 teams. The proposal calls for players and coaches to head to the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex in Orlando to begin training on June 1, with the tournament — involving matches without fans — set to begin three to four weeks later.  The proposal would need to be approved by the MLS Players Association, which is currently in negotiations with MLS over salary cuts. The league’s latest proposal asks for a 20% cut across the board, plus other unspecified monetary concessions. Sources told ESPN that one proposed format for the tournament would see the league’s teams divided into groups, with each team playing around five games during the group stage. This would be followed by a knockout stage, with “consolation games” staged to make sure each team played the same number of matches.

With The Last Dance set to wrap up this coming Sunday, ESPN has finally published its list of the 10 best NBA players on its Top 100 list after revealing the other 90 all-time greats in bite-sized chunks. And to the surprise of no one, the star of The Last Dance tops the four-letter networks’s list:

  1. Michael Jordan
  2. LeBron James
  3. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
  4. Bill Russell
  5. Magic Johnson
  6. Wilt Chamberlain
  7. Larry Bird
  8. Tim Duncan
  9. Kobe Bryant
  10. Shaquille O’Neal