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The Machine Defecates Gummy Bears

RizzutoShow Blog 23

Naked woman breaks into JCDOT lot, steals truck, hits deer – MLive

A Jackson County Department of Transportation truck was heavily damaged a week ago when a naked woman broke into a Napoleon Township lot, stole the truck and hit a deer with it, police said.

St. Louis Aquarium and wheel to announce reopening date soon – KSDK

Costco bringing back free samples – MyFox8

 

Huge post-coronavirus orgy planned to end ‘longest dry spell in all of history’ – NYpost

Some single people have started including their coronavirus antibody test results in their online dating profiles to help them improve their chances.

Are Humans Naturally Monogamous? People Aren’t Quite Sure – YouGov

Here’s precisely how long it takes to make a woman orgasm – NYpost

All told about 21 celebrities joined in on various protests around the country. That includes JOHN CUSACK, who claims the police came at him with their BATONS. OF course he was filming and of course he posted it

Jamie Foxx himself IN Minneapolis had a few words as well

TAYLOR SWIFT is going after Trump for his Tweet that included “when the looting starts the shooting starts” And she didn’t hold back. Including  “We will vote you out in November, @RealDonaldTrump.”  “Any difficulty and we will assume control but, when the looting starts, the shooting starts.  Thank you!”  Twitter placed a public interest notice on that post . . . saying it “violated the Twitter rules about glorifying violence.”

In three days, Taylor’s Tweet attracted more than 2.1 million likes, and over 452,000 re-Tweets. In fact, within five hours of her posting it, it became her most-liked Tweet of ALL-TIME.

Killer Mike of Run the Jewels gave a pretty damn good and pretty damn emotional speech while in Atlanta

The pandemic has inspired SINEAD O’CONNOR to become a healthcare worker, and she’s serious enough that she’s headed back to school. She says she “has a certain gift with frightened people.”  And it sounds like she’s doing something commendable:  Working with people in hospice to comfort them. She adds, quote, “The COVID thing gave me more impetus:  A) What do I want to do with my life? and B) If I had taken this course two years ago, which I was going to do but touring got in the way, I could’ve been out working now, helping people, which I would’ve liked to be doing.”

Victoria Beckham and husband David have always been security conscious, but after Tottenham midfielder Dele Alli was robbed at knifepoint at his North London mansion recently, they’re planning to install “an underground passage linking the family’s $8 million house to their luxury car garage” — creating an escape tunnel should the family need it. 

Last year, “Forbes” named KYLIE JENNER the youngest self-made billionaire ever.  But they just REVOKED that title, and now claim she’s been lying for years to inflate her own wealth. They posted an article on Friday accusing Kylie and her mom Kris Jenner of spinning a “web of lies” to make Kylie Cosmetics seem more successful than it really was. They claim the tax returns she gave them were faked to make it look like the company’s revenue was two or three times higher than it really was.  And her actual net worth is just under $900 million. If it’s true, that means Mark Zuckerberg still holds the title of youngest self-made billionaire.  And Kylie doesn’t have much time to catch him.  He did it at age 23, and she’ll be 23 this August. Kylie is denying she did anything wrong.  She immediately Tweeted that the article was filled with, quote, “inaccurate statements and unproven assumptions.” She followed that Tweet up with a few more, where she basically shrugged it off.  Quote, “I can name a list of 100 things more important right now than fixating on how much money I have.” 

JASON MOMOA flew back to his home state of Iowa to go to a local diner, where he could eat a meal named after him.  “The Momoa” a “full hash-brown with a full biscuits and gravy right on top, followed by two sunny side up eggs and a side of bacon.”  And he ate it in less than 10 minutes!  Technically, Jason was born in Hawaii, but he was raised in Iowa.

Alicia Silverstone says that her son’s vegan diet is the reason she doesn’t have to discipline him. “I don’t have to yell or scream or discipline. None of that is necessary,” she explained. “All I have to do is say, ‘Oh, Bear, no thank you,’ and he goes, ‘OK, mom.’ He’s got it.” Silverstone says, “We just can talk like that because he’s not feeling crazy. When [kids] feel bad, when they eat unhealthy food and they don’t feel good, then they don’t act good. Same as us.” The actress, who has written a book called, The Kind Diet says, “when I eat super-clean superhero recipes from The Kind Diet, I feel amazing. [It’s] truly life-changing.” Bear was born in May 2011; Silverstone and her then-husband, Christopher Jarecki, divorced in 2018.   

Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty found out he fathered a daughter decades ago while having an extramarital affair. Phil’s sons revealed on their Unashamed podcast this week that they received a letter earlier this year.  DNA tests ultimately confirmed that the 45-year-old woman–named Phyliss–was Phil’s daughter. Meanwhile, Phil says, .Phil also said he hopes to invite Phyliss onto a future episode of the podcast. 

Recall if you would when I mentioned that JOHN CENA and Jackson Stewart from “Hannah Montana” being the SAME AGE. Both John and the actor JASON EARLES were born in 1977.

I have a list of other celebrities who are the same age, or were born in the same year 

  1. Betty Whiteand Judy Garland (98) 
  1. Harrison Ford, Joe Biden, and Jimi Hendrix (77) 
  1. The Dalai Lamaand Elvis Presley (84) 
  1. Marilyn Monroeand Hugh Hefner (91) 
  1. Princess Dianaand Barack Obama (58) 
  1. Willem Dafoeand Kris Jenner(64) 
  1. Amy Schumerand Beyoncé (39) 
  1. Marilyn Mansonand Paul Rudd (51)
  1. Macaulay Culkinand Kim Kardashian West(39)
  1. Will Smithand Molly Ringwald (51)

BIRTHDAYS

Tom Holland is 24.

Amy Schumer is 39. 

Alanis Morissette is 46.

Heidi Klum is 47.

Mark Curry is 59.  Mr. Cooper on “Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper”.

David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz is 67.  Serial killer who murdered six people in New York in the mid 1970s.

Ronnie Dunn of Brooks & Dunn is 67.

Morgan Freeman is 83.

Today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY…This dude used to have a young Elvis open for him back In the 50s.  He actually has 63 released singles.  He’s had over 25 of those single reach the Top 20 on the charts.  Some of his songs….Ain’t That A Shame…I Almost Lost My Mind…Love Letters In The Sand….April Love.  The list goes on and on….Honestly – I couldn’t tell you what one of those songs sound like but I know this dude’s a legend.  Pat Boone is 86 years young.

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PORNO BIRTHDAY

SIMONE COOPER

If today’s birthday girl was ever lost at sea…her and about 4 of her friends could float on her massive mammories…and she’s shown them off in 82 films including:

  • They Are Real, They Are Big, and They Are Real Big
  • Bra Busters 8
  • The Conclave of Cleavage
  • Check Out Those Natural Wonders
  • Big Boob Bonanza
  • Smash Of The Titans
  • And who could forget…her unforgettable role in…. Huge Nipples

SIMONE COOPER is 35 YEARS OLD

Major League Baseball and the Players Association will soon enter their third week of negotiations concerning the potential for a modified 2020 season in response to the spread of the novel coronavirus. On Sunday afternoon, the Players Association delivered a proposal to the league outlining its vision for the year…. the union’s proposal calls for a 114-game season that would begin on June 30 and end on Halloween. The postseason would then take place throughout November. Other key parts of the plan include every player having the right to opt out of participating (with those who are deemed “high-risk” receiving salary, and others receiving only service time), and a salary deferral plan in the event that the postseason is canceled due to another wave of COVID-19. The proposal also calls for two years of expanded playoffs, and for the players to receive a $100 million advance during the second spring training.

For months the timeline of a potential return to the NBA season has been uncertain. Without even knowing if basketball would come back at all. But as the NBA’s plan to finish the season at Disney World takes shape, some of the specifics are coming into view. The NBA has set July 31 as the target date for its return. The NBA’s Board of Governors is expected to vote to approve Adam Silver’s recommendation on a format for resuming the season this Thursday. As of right now, 20-22 teams are expected to be invited to Orlando.  That would give the NBA roughly two more months to finish organizing its Disney proposal and get its players back up to speed physically with both individual workouts and a second training camp at practice facilities. Teams participating in whatever format the concluded regular season and playoffs take would then travel to Orlando and quarantine before basketball could begin again.

Former Cleveland Cavaliers guard JR Smith is seen in video on Sunday beating up a man who allegedly damaged his truck during the protests in Los Angeles over the death of George Floyd. Smith is seen kicking the man when he is on the ground and then punching him when he gets up. Then the man runs away. The man broke a window on Smith’s vehicle. Smith said he was parked in a residential area and not near any stores where looting took place during the protests. “I chased him down and whupped his ass,” Smith said. Smith said in the video he wanted to make it clear that his retaliation wasn’t because the man was white. “This ain’t no hate crime. I ain’t got no problem with nobody who ain’t got no problem with me. It’s a problem with the motherf—ing system. That’s it,” he said.

A solidarity protest against police brutality was held in Atlanta following the death of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer in Minneapolis. Late Friday, those protests passed the College Football Hall of Fame, where people proceeded to damage the building. Windows were reportedly smashed with a variety of large objects that apparently included trash cans. After the windows were broken, some proceeded to grab stuff from inside before cops showed up to stop things. As video from the aftermath demonstrates, it seems that the portion of the facility that was broken into was the gift shop. “First and foremost, our hearts go out to the friends and family of George Floyd,” CEO of the College Football Hall of Fame Kimberly Beaudin said. “We support the peaceful protests that honor his memory but unfortunately, they deteriorated into chaos and disorder.  We are heartbroken to see the damage to our city and the Hall of Fame.”

Some UFC news – St. Louis’ own Tyron Woodley lost via decision during his fight against Gilbert Burns. Burns controlled the fight from pretty much start to finish.  Following a verbal feud with UFC president Dana White, light heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones said on Sunday that he plans to revoke his title. On May 21, Jones tweeted that he was being denied increased compensation for a potential heavyweight fight. White and Jones have since exchanged words, with the UFC president responding to comments from Jones stating that his reputation is being tarnished. “He can do whatever he wants,” White said after Saturday night’s UFC event. “He wants to sit out, fight, he can do whatever. He can say whatever he wants publicly. It’s his God-given right in America. He can say whatever he wants. When he’s ready to come back, he can. In one of his tweets, he said I tarnished his name. I tarnished you? You’ve done a very good job of tarnishing you.” Among a variety of charges during his UFC career, Jones most recently pled guilty to a second drunken driving offense in New Mexico in March.

Sunday’s drama reached a crescendo with three laps to go at Bristol Motor Speedway in the Supermarket Heroes 500. As in last weekend’s Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway, Chase Elliott and Brad Keselowski were two of the principals. Elliott, who won the race’s first two stages Sunday, was battling Joey Logano for the lead with three laps to go but then got loose as he tried to pass, sliding into Logano and sending both cars into the outer wall. Keselowski, stalking right behind, drove off for his second win in as many weekends. Logano wanted an explanation from Elliott afterward, and the two had a conversation on pit road. Logano later told FS1 he was upset Elliott didn’t immediately apologize for wrecking him.