Crap on Celebrities | News | Sports Report

Smell My Fingers

RizzutoShow Blog 41

A Couple’s First Date Ends in a Police Chase and an Arrest – KTUL

A Woman Brings 23 Relatives on a Blind Date to Test the Guy’s Generosity . . . He Dines and Dashes on the Bill – LABible

A Guy Steals $1,000 in Items from Walmart by Hiding a Kool-Aid Packet in His Hand at Self-Checkout – NBC 2

High schooler accused of faking kidnapping during Zoom class – 1011Now

A Guy Accidentally Burns Down His Trailer Trying to Scare Away Raccoons – KOMONews

A Drunk Driver with No Arms or Legs Crashes into a Cop Car – SMNewsNet

A Guy with the Last Name “Crook” Is Busted for Stealing Things Twice in One Day – Fairfield

Woman Busted After Hitting Cop With Meth – TheSmokingGun

A Guy Caught Pleasuring Himself in Truck Claims He Was Playing Air Drums – WBRZ

Actress and dancer MARGE CHAMPION died Wednesday.  She was 101 years old. Marge started her career dancing and acting in films back in the late 1930s . . . and one of her first gigs was being the model for Disney’s Snow White, in the 1937 animated classic “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”. Marge’s father was a famous Hollywood dancer, and friends with WALT DISNEY.  That’s how she got the part. The movie’s all-male animation team studied Marge’s movements in order to make Snow White move more realistically. Marge also did the same thing for the dwarf Dopey, the Blue Fairy in “Pinocchio”, Hyacinth Hippo in “Fantasia”, and Mr. Stork in “Dumbo”. FYI, Marge’s stepdaughter is KATEY SAGAL from “Married with Children” and “Sons of Anarchy”.

Zachery Ty Bryan, the oldest son from Home Improvement, recall him getting hauled in for a domestic violence call. According to his girlfriend, he beat the hell out of her over missing phone charging cables. Prosecutors have enough to go felony.  He was charged with strangulation and coercion — both felonies — plus 6 misdemeanors.  Cops noticed blood, swelling and bruising on the alleged victim … and the cop claims Zachery was evasive about what happened, other than accusing her of trying to take him down because he was breaking up with her. He has been released on bail, and he’s barred from all contact with the alleged victim.

Last night on “The Tonight Show”, Julia Louis-Dreyfus explained how she came up with Elaine’s infamous dance on “Seinfeld”

News of the World is a new tom hanks movie in theaters in at Christmas as of now. , a western in which he’s on a mission to reunite a girl with her family. Hanks is Captain Jefferson Kyle Kidd. He travels through the frontier to read the news of the land to the people. Then to help return a young 10-year-old girl named Johanna, played by Helena Zengel, to her biological family after she was taken in by the Kiowa people six years earlier and raised as one of their own.

It would be his first major live-action TV series, but Tim Burton is developing an  The Addams Family series. He is negotiating to executive produce and possibly direct all episodes.  Rumor is it would be set in present times and be from the perspective of Wednesday Addams and what the world would look like to her in 2020.

Science has Determined The Scariest Movie of All Time While the average heartrate at rest is 65 beats per minute, Ethan Hawkes’ 2012 film, ‘Sinister’, caused heart rates to shoot up to an average of 86 beats per minute. So they are calling ti the scariest movie ever.  The 2010 film, ‘Insidious’ came in second place, raising heart rates to an average 85bpm. Someone freaked out during “Insidious”, though, cause their heart rate shot up to 133bpm during the movie for the biggest heartrate spike recorded.

The “Fast & Furious” movies have been a major attraction at the box office for almost 20 years . . . but it’s coming to an end . . . eventually. They are ending the franchise after two more movies, the 10th and the 11th.  But there will actually be THREE more . . . because the ninth movie, “F9”, has been delayed by the COVID-19 pandemic, which is scheduled to come out on May 28th of next year. There are no other details on the 10th and 11th movies. This may be crushing news to “Fast & Furious” super-fans, but this is only for the core series.  The “Fast & Furious” cinematic universe will continue through spin-offs, and there are already some in the works.

It’s been 43 years since the first “Smokey and the Bandit” movie came out . . . and now it’s being revived as a TV show. No network is attached yet . . . but it’s being developed by Seth MacFarlane from “Family Guy”, along with David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, and the creative team who worked on the HBO show “Eastbound & Down”. Which is interesting, since that title seems to have been inspired by the “Smokey and the Bandit” theme song, which is also called “East Bound and Down“. It’s unclear if the show will have any formal connections to the movie, especially since it’s been so long since it came out.  Burt Reynolds passed away in 2018, and Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Pat McCormick, and “Fred” the Basset Hound are no longer with us.  Of course, Sally Field is still around. 

A TV show based 1983’s “Flashdance” is in development for Paramount+. If you haven’t heard, CBS All Access will become Paramount+ next year. One of the original producers is onboard for the revival . . . unclear if any of the old cast members will be involved.  They’ve also made an interesting alteration to the story. Instead of a WELDER who dreams of being a dancer, like in the original, we get a STRIPPER who dreams of being a ballet dancer.

If you’ve ever read “The Three Little Pigs” and thought, “There just aren’t enough women in this story,” NATALIE PORTMAN has solved that problem for you. She wrote a book called “Natalie Portman’s Fables”, where she took three classic stories . . . the pigs, “The Tortoise and the Hare”, and “Country Mouse and City Mouse” . . . and made them more “gender-inclusive.” For instance, the Tortoise in “The Tortoise and the Hare” is FEMALE. Natalie says, quote, “Children’s books have this very special place in our lives because we read them over and over and over again like no other books.  They have a way of instilling information and values into both the children and parents. “And when I was reading the books, I was struck by how the classic stories had overwhelmingly male characters and thinking, ‘What am I telling my kids, both my son and my daughter, about whose stories are important to tell and also whose lives they should care about?'”

SCARLETT JOHANSSON will star in “Bride”, a new take on “The Bride of Frankenstein”. Here’s the synopsis:  “A woman created to be an ideal wife . . . the singular obsession of a brilliant entrepreneur . . . rejects her creator, and is forced to flee her confined existence, confronting a world that sees her as a monster. “It is on the run that she finds her true identity, her surprising power, and the strength to remake herself as her own creation.” So yeah, it’s basically a feminist take on the story. Scarlett says, quote, “It is long overdue for Bride to step out of the shadow of her male counterpart and stand alone . . . [We] are extremely excited to emancipate this classic anti-heroine and reanimate her story to reflect the change we see today.

To that end DYLAN SPROUSE has taken a stand on not enough straight guys dressed as women making out with old guys. Dylan does just that in a new short film called “Daddy”. It’s an 18-minute movie where he plays a male escort who poses as an 80-year-old man’s late wife to help him celebrate their anniversary.  No, they don’t have sex, but they do share a pretty intimate kiss. The old man is played by RON RIFKIN, who you’ve seen in tons of stuff, including the new “A Star is Born”, “Law & Order: SVU”, and “Gotham”. It was directed by Christian Coppola. . . yes, he’s part of THAT family.  And it’s actually kind of touching.

ELTON JOHN now has his own Barbie doll, which “celebrates his unique look.” Mattel says, quote, “The Elton John Barbie doll shines bright in a glittery top and flared denim embellished with Elton’s sparkling initials.  “Her ‘Elton’-embossed bomber jacket features star-printed sleeves and a rainbow-striped hem.  Nods to the artist’s iconic style include rainbow-striped platform boots, a purple bowler hat and sparkly, pink-tinted sunglasses.” So, it’s still Barbie . . . just glammed up like she’s going as Elton for Halloween. Elton posted photos of his Barbie, and called it an “honor.”  Mattel is selling the Elton-inspired Barbie for $50.00. ranked every presidential impression in the history of “SNL” 

1.  George H.W. Bush . . . Dana Carvey

2.  Bill Clinton . . . Darrell Hammond

3.  George W. Bush . . . Will Ferrell

4.  Bill Clinton . . . Phil Hartman

5.  Gerald Ford . . . Chevy Chase

6.  Ronald Reagan . . . Phil Hartman

7.  Donald Trump . . . Alec Baldwin

8.  Barack Obama . . . Jay Pharoah

9.  Jimmy Carter . . . Dan Aykroyd

10.  Barack Obama . . . Fred Armisen

11.  George W. Bush . . . Will Forte and Jason Sudeikis

12.  Ronald Reagan . . . Charles Rocket, Randy Quaid, and Joe Piscopo

Smashing Pumpkins’ ‘Melon Collie and The Infinite Sadness’ turns 25 this weekend!  To celebrate, founder Billy Corgan revealed that a 33-song concept album, a sequel to both ‘Melon Collie’ and 2000’s ‘Machina’, will arrive next year. Corgan admitted that a tour was supposed to be announced this week, too, but COVID had other plans.  Smashing Pumpkins are still on schedule to release their double album, ‘Cyr’, and an animated series based on the album, November 27th.

A street musician in Scotland posted a video this week, accusing a drunk woman of smashing his guitar. He set up a GoFundMe to ask for help, saying that busking is his livelihood. In just 24 hours, the page was a success, and the guy was able to buy an acoustic guitar.  But while he was in the guitar shop, he got a call. It was from JACK WHITE, who told him he wanted to buy him a new ELECTRIC guitar, as well. The guy posted a photo of it on Instagram, and said, quote, “Apparently he saw what happened and hit up his manager . . . who then amazingly tracked me down to the guitar shop just in time for me to walk out with this absolute beauty . . .”I cannot thank Jack enough for his absolute generosity.”

CHRIS STAPLETON will be performing at tonight’s Tom Petty 70th Birthday Bash Live Stream.  Other artists include Stevie Nicks, Post Malone, and Norah Jones.  Chris shared some thoughts about his musical hero on Instagram. Fyi ironically, Jakob Dylan, the singer from The Wallflowers whos hits include One Headlight will be preforming.



Jasmin St. Claire

Today’s birthday girl has put her hands on more bodies than a coroner in 99 fine films including :

  • 3 For Me None For You
  • Exit Only? 6
  • Ridden Hard and Put Away Wet
  • Star Whores: The Phantom Anus
  • This Little Piggy Went To Porno
  • World Class Ass 2
  • And who could forget…her unforgettable role in… Smell My Fingers

Jasmin St. Claire is 48 YEARS OLD