I Just Urinated Excellence


Son Steals Mom’s Car On Mother’s Day, And That’s Not The Worst Part – NewsCenterMaine

 Police arrested a 37-year-old Skowhegan man on multiple charges Sunday after a car chase ended with him being arrested at a drive-up church service.

Skowhegan Police Chief David Bucknam said officers responded to the report of a motor vehicle theft Monday afternoon at 5 Mountain View Terrace in Skowhegan. The suspect, Thomas Bouchard, reportedly took of his clothes before taking his mother’s silver Hyundai Elantra without her permission. He then led police on a chase. 

St. Louis region sees decline in COVID-19 hospitalizations – Fox2Now

Dr. Anthony Fauci told the Senate yesterday that lifting stay-at-home orders too fast means, quote, “There is a real risk that you will trigger an outbreak that you may not be able to control.”

Prices in the U.S. fell 0.8% in April, that’s the biggest drop since December of 2008.  And while falling prices SOUND like a good thing, it can lead to deflation . . . which can be even more trouble for the struggling economy.

Twitter has announced that all employees can now work from home as long as they want, even when the pandemic is over.

A fashion designer in Italy has designed the “trikini” . . . that’s a bikini with a matching face mask.  And people are now getting “maskne” . . . that’s acne you get from wearing a face mask.  (Full Story)

This is the 15th anniversary of the viral “Leeeeeeroy Jenkins” “World of Warcraft” video . . . and people are using it as a metaphor for how we’re rushing the re-opening process.

There’s been a surge in demand for crime scene cleaners . . . from retail stores that want the most hardcore disinfecting possible.

 New Jersey state parks are open, but their bathrooms aren’t . . . so the state park police have been finding, quote, “an inordinate amount” of pee-filled water bottles and piles of human poop.

Bob Dylan called off his 2020 North American tour yesterday. The tour was supposed to kick off June 4 in Bend, Oregon, and run into July, but was called off because of the pandemic. Also, two of England’s biggest rock festivals, Reading & Leeds, have also been called off for 2020 because of the virus. Organizers announced the news on Instagram Tuesday. The shows, scheduled for August 28—30 had booked Rage Against the Machine, Liam Gallagher, Run the Jewels, and many others. Organizers say ticketholders have the option of retaining their tickets for the 2021 show. 

Oasis’ Noel Gallagher admitted on a recent podcast that at the height of his cocaine habit, he would get really bad panic attacks, and even voluntarily went into the hospital. “I did have to check into hospital once,” he said. “Imagine having the psychosis and having to have to go to hospital. They don’t understand a word you’re saying because of your accent and you’re like ‘I think I am on my way out.'” The rocker said he finally got clean in 1998 after “a few brutal panic attacks,” by taking a month-long trip to Thailand. He also said he now finds the drug tedious. “You just know that when the coke comes out the night is going to take a s**t turn. It’s always like fun and games and once someone gets the coke out then all of a sudden it’s, ‘Well, it’s time for me to go anyway, because this is now boring.’”

The Black Keys are the latest artists to cancel their upcoming tour because of the coronavirus. (STL July 21st) The U.S. dates were scheduled to kick off on July 7 in Seattle and hit such major cities as Dallas, Chicago, Detroit, and Boston before wrapping up in Jacksonville, Florida, on September 6. Last month, The Black Keys likewise canceled their Canadian tour dates, which were set to take place this month.

Bryan ADAMS is taking some heat for a rant on social media. He posted a video of himself performing an acoustic rendition of “Cuts Like a Knife” . . . and in the caption, he said, quote, “Tonight was supposed to be the beginning of a tenancy of gigs at the Royal Albert Hall . . .”But thanks to some [effing] bat-eating, wet-market animal-selling, virus-making greedy bastards, the whole world is now on hold, not to mention the thousands that have suffered or died from this virus. “My message to them . . . other than ‘thanks [an effing] lot’ . . . is go vegan.  To all the people missing out on our shows, I wish I could be there more than you know.” That drew a lot of backlash, with people calling it a “shocking racist outburst.” Bryan later posted another video of “Into the Fire” . . . and in the caption, he apologized to anyone who was offended, but he said he was serious about animal cruelty. Quote, “Apologies to any and all that took offense to my posting yesterday.  No excuse, I just wanted to have a rant about the horrible animal cruelty in these wet-markets being the possible source of the virus, and promote veganism. Also, Bryan’s animal cruelty thing isn’t just a convenient deflection.  He’s an animal rights activist, a self-proclaimed vegan, and a PETA supporter.  And not surprisingly, PETA has come out in support of Bryan’s rant. Last year, Britain’s “Daily Mail” reported that Bryan got in a paddleboat to shield a whale while in the Caribbean.

Rapper TEKASHI 6IX9INE made a $200,000 donation to No Kid Hungry, a campaign that strives to end child hunger, especially during coronavirus. But they REJECTED it.  They said, quote, “We’re grateful for [his] generous offer . . . but as a child-focused campaign, it’s our policy to decline funding from donors whose activities do not align with our mission and values.” It’s unclear what they’re talking about . . . but it could be a LOT of things. 6ix9ine just got out of prison on racketeering and firearms charges.  He also got a reduced sentence, because he ratted out some former fellow gang members. In 2015, when he was 18, he pleaded guilty to three felony counts for use of a 13-year-old girl in a sexual performance after an inappropriate video surfaced online. He later breached his plea deal, when he was arrested for misdemeanor assault in 2018 after allegedly choking a 16-year-old boy in a mall. 6ix9ine was NOT happy about his money being rejected.  In an Instagram post, he said, quote, “No Kid Hungry [would] rather take food out the mouth of these innocent children . . . I never seen something so cruel.”  He’s since deleted the post.

TONY SHALHOUB appeared in the first episode of Peacock’s “At Home Variety Show”, and he reprised his role as the germaphobe Monk from the show “Monk”. At the end, he broke character and talked about how he and his wife were diagnosed with COVID-19 in REAL life last month, and have since recovered. (AUDIO) Speaking of coronavirus recoveries, 41-year-old Broadway actor Nick Cordero woke up from a medically induced coma yesterday . . . weeks after doctors amputated his leg as part of his coronavirus treatment.

New York’s Broadway League announced that plays won’t return until after Labor Day–at the earliest. Broadway went dark on March 12 when Governor Andrew Cuomo banned gatherings of more than 500 people. The plan was initially to reopen in early April–and then June 7. But as the coronavirus pandemic has taught us time and again, plans change.

(AUDIO)Yesterday, Disney announced that the filmed version of the original Broadway production of “Hamilton” will hit Disney+ on July 3rd . . . more than a whole year EARLY.  It was originally supposed to hit theaters in October of NEXT year. It was filmed at Broadway’s Richard Rodgers Theatre in June of 2016, and it features  the original cast. Disney describes the movie as a “leap forward in the art of ‘live capture,’ which transports its audience into the world of the Broadway show in a uniquely intimate way,” combining live theater, film, and streaming. Again, this is a capture of the original show.  There ARE plans to do a separate “Hamilton” movie . . . but that project remains a long way off.

Hank Azaria has been doing character voices on “The Simpsons” for 32 years.  He was a guest with Conan last night and was asked what voices are the toughest on his vocal cords. (AUDIO) And what voice is his favorite to do (AUDIO)

Remember the sitcom “Head of the Class”? Well apparently someone just noticed that we haven’t rebooted that one yet, because a new version is now in development for HBO Max.  There aren’t any details on the reboot, other than that it’ll have the same basic premise. “Head of the Class” premiered in 1986, and ran for five seasons on ABC until 1991.  It starred Howard Hesseman from “WKRP in Cincinnati”.  He left after the fourth season, and was replaced by Scottish comedian Billy Connolly.

JETHRO TULL singer IAN ANDERSON has revealed that he’s suffering from the incurable lung disease, COPD.  (Which is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.)

He discussed it for the first time on “The Big Interview” with host Dan Rather yesterday. (AUDIO)   And his doctors have encouraged him to keeping fighting it. Ian is 72, and he WAS a smoker, but he hasn’t picked up a cigarette in 30 years.     

Loudwire put together a list of 25 “legendary” rock albums . . . “with no weak songs.” (The site notes that the greatest records aren’t necessarily the most consistent . . . like how even THE BEATLES’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” has one less-than-stellar track in “Good Morning Good Morning”.) Here are the 25 that they consider to be flawless, from start to finish . . . listed in alphabetical order by artist:

1.  AC/DC, “Highway to Hell”, 1979

2.  Alice in Chains, “Dirt”, 1992

3.  The Beatles, “Magical Mystery Tour”, 1967

4.  David Bowie, “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust . . .”, 1972

5.  Deep Purple, “In Rock”, 1970

6.  Deftones, “White Pony”, 2000

7.  The Doors, “The Doors”, 1967

8.  Fleetwood Mac, “Rumours”, 1977

9.  Guns N’ Roses, “Appetite for Destruction”, 1987

10.  The Jimi Hendrix Experience, “Are You Experienced”, 1967

11.  King Crimson, “In the Court of the Crimson King”, 1969

12.  Led Zeppelin, “Led Zeppelin IV”, 1971

13.  Nirvana, “Nevermind”, 1991

14.  Pearl Jam, “Ten”, 1991

15.  Pink Floyd, “The Dark Side of the Moon”, 1973

16.  Queens of the Stone Age, “. . . Like Clockwork”, 2013

17.  Radiohead, “OK Computer”, 1997

18.  Rage Against the Machine, “Rage Against the Machine”, 1992

19.  Rainbow, “Rising”, 1976

20.  The Rolling Stones, “Exile on Main St.”, 1972

21.  Rush, “Permanent Waves”, 1980

22.  Soundgarden, “Superunknown”, 1994

23.  Van Halen, “Van Halen”, 1978

24.  Weezer, “Weezer (The Blue Album)”, 1994

25.  The Who, “Who’s Next”, 1971


Robert Pattinson is 34

Lena Dunham is 34

Buckethead is 51.  Guitar player who is known for wearing a KFC bucket on his head.  And you’ve pretty much only heard of him because he was in Guns N’ Roses from 2000 to 2004. 

Darius Rucker is 54

Stephen Colbert is 56

Dennis Rodman is 59

Stevie Wonder is 70

Today’s BURTON BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY…He plays the tough guy in almost every movie he is in.  From Pulp Fiction to Taxi Driver to Reservoir Dogs….He even played the devil in Little Nicky.  Harvey Keitel is 81 years young today.  




Today’s birthday girl has been laid more than a tourist in Hawaii in 168 fine films including:

  • Anal Attack Volume 3
  • 2 on 1 – Just For Fun
  • My Buddy & His Boyfriend
  • Pizza Africana
  • Porn Olympics: The Anal Games
  • Tic Tac Toes
  • And who could forget…her unforgettable role in….Double Parked Volume 7:  Highway Check Point


League commissioner Adam Silver will decide on the season’s status in the next two to four weeks. Silver met with the league’s Board of Governors earlier yesterday, and the feeling coming out of the meeting was increased optimism about the season resuming. The league will review several coronavirus-related factors before before making a decision, including ones involving testing, new cases in states that are reopening for business, and seriously ill patients.  One other factor will be getting league personnel on board with continuing play after there is a positive test. The league has been suspended since March 11.  NBA players want to return to action if it’s safe enough to do so. An informal poll of players by the players association showed “overwhelming” support for a return in a safe way. The NBA remains focused on a “bubble” system for housing players and team personnel in the event the season resumes. Teams would play in Las Vegas and Walt Disney World in Florida. It’s not known how many players would need to be in this environment because, the league is still deciding whether to jump directly into the playoffs if it decides to play again. 

Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey has opened the door for professional sports to return to the state. Ducey said Tuesday that professional sports, including MLB, the NBA, the NHL and the NFL, can resume without fans on Saturday.  Ducey said he has had discussions with “leaders of some of these leagues,” but he did not say which ones or elaborate on what activities might take place in Arizona.  Last month, he said he had spoken with Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred and was open to hosting games. Other sports such as basketball and hockey have considered playing the remainder of their regular seasons in hubs, with several teams playing in one location. “It would be, at this point in time, according to the CDC guidelines, without fans,” Ducey said at a news conference. “We could do that safely in the state of Arizona beginning May 16.”

Two Florida quarterbacks, one old and one new, are currently selling the most NFL jerseys. Miami Dolphin quarterback Tua Tagovailoa sits atop the list, as well as in second place, with two versions of his new team’s jersey. Veteran Tom Brady’s Buccaneer jersey currently occupies spots 3 through 6, as well as #10. In fact, The only players not named Tua or Brady in the top-10 are Bengals rookie quarterback Joe Burrow and Buccaneers tight end Rob Gronkowski.

  1. Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins aqua) 
  2. Tua Tagovailoa (Dolphins white)
  3. Tom Brady (Buccaneers pewter alternative vapor)
  4. Tom Brady (Buccaneers white vapor) 
  5. Tom Brady (Buccaneers red) 
  6. Tom Brady (Buccaneers red vapor) 
  7. Rob Gronkowski (Buccaneers pewter alternate)
  8. Joe Burrow (Bengals black) 
  9. Rob Gronkowski (Buccaneers red)
  10. Tom Brady (Buccaneers pewter alternate)

Netflix has announced that it will make a feature film about the 1999 U.S. women’s national team, which won the World Cup on home soil. Netflix has acquired the rights to the book titled, “The Girls of Summer: The US Women’s Soccer Team and How It Changed The World.” Lots of chatter about the movie, but many people are going back and forth asking if this will be a documentary style movie or if it will be a cinematic movie…but there is reason to make note that Netflix said it will be a feature film.  Whatever that means. 

Back on June 2, 2010, Tigers starting pitcher Armando Galarraga threw a perfect game. He retired the first 27 batters he faced. Unfortunately, the 27th out was actually an incorrect safe call by first-base umpire Jim Joyce. Joyce owned up to the missed call immediately upon seeing a replay. He famously said he “kicked the ish out of that call” — umpire speak for missing it. Joyce said he was sick over the situation, saying he took a perfect game away from “that kid over there.”  Video of the blown call and Galarraga’s missed chance at history are on the blog. The next day, Galarraga handed the Tigers lineup card to Joyce at home plate. Joyce patted him on the back and could be seen visibly in tears. The two ended up building a bit of a friendship and even teamed up to write a book together, fittingly titled “Nobody’s Perfect.” Ten years later, Galarraga wants the call overturned by Major League Baseball. He says: “I was like, what can I do to have a better finish to the story? How can Major League Baseball not give me the perfect game? Because it was perfect, right?” ((VIDEO: The only fallout would be having to add Galarraga to the list of pitchers to have thrown a perfect game. There are officially 23. Make the list 24. Armando threw a perfect game.

UFC president Dana White expects a lightweight bout between Khabib Nurmagomedov and Justin Gaethje to be staged on “Fight Island” next month. Gaethje turned his attention to a showdown with Khabib after beating Tony Ferguson at UFC 249 last weekend to take the interim title. Khabib was due to fight Ferguson in N.Y., last month, but that battle could not go ahead because of the pandemic, which has left Khabib stuck in Russia. Gaethje grasped his chance to replace Khabib and will now get his shot at the undefeated champ. White said the venue that has been christened “Fight Island” — a secret location off the coast of the United States — remains under construction but should be ready for the pair to lock horns by the end of June.

With the PGA Tour set to resume its revised schedule next month in Texas, a lengthy memo was sent to players outlining the various procedures that will be put in place, highlighted by a testing approach that will include coronavirus testing as well as daily thermal screens.  The PGA Tour has a news conference scheduled for Wednesday to outline the plan in more detail. The Charles Schwab Challenge at Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas, is the first of four events on the schedule that are planned to be played without spectators. The tour has arranged for charter flights between the events for players and caddies. Players, caddies and various tournament officials and employees will be required to fill out health questionnaires and will be sent pre-travel screening tests. They also will be required to take nasal swab/saliva tests upon arrival, likely at a designated hotel, followed by daily questionnaires and screenings. The idea behind the “Health & Safety Plan” is to create a “bubble” in which those in tournaments will operate, with the hope that they will isolate from the general public as much as possible.

The South Korean women’s golf tour is starting again, with the KLPGA Championship opening on Thursday and being played without fans on the course. Women’s golf in South Korea joins Korea’s professional baseball and soccer leagues, which have already restarted. The tournament at the Lakewood Country Club, located east of the capital of Seoul, was originally schedule for April 30 through May 3. Organizers said social distancing will be practiced by players and tournament officials. Players will have hand sanitizer available. It was not clear if players will take coronavirus tests.

The Philadelphia Eagles are offering a free wedding ceremony on the sidelines of the Linc to frontline workers and couples who had their wedding canceled because of COVID-19. The stadium would normally cost $30,000. The Eagles say this is being offered to anyone who had their wedding planned before March 31, 2021. Availability is limited and it all depends on when the city says there can be large gatherings again.  The on-field ceremony is free, after purchasing a wedding package, which has been set at a reduced rate, according to the organization. 

Celebrations can take place in the following areas:

  • Touchdown Club- up to 125 guests for $65 per person
  • Hyundai Club – 125 to 150 guests for $70 per person; 151 to 300 guests for $50 per person
  • Tork Club- 200 to 299 guests for $70 per person; 300-plus for $50 per person