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Jack White ponders the existential dilemma of Snoop Dogg’s new breakfast cereal

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Jim Dyson/Getty Images

A “Seven Nation Army” won’t hold Jack White back from uncovering the mysteries of Snoop Dogg‘s new breakfast cereal.

The rapper recently announced the debut of Snoop Loopz, a Froot Loops-esque cereal set to be released under his Broadus Food business. In an Instagram post, White congratulates Snoop on his new venture and extends a “pat on the back for its charitable benefits.” But he has a few “important questions,” specifically related to the Snoop Loopz box’s promise of “more marshmallows.”

“More than what?” White wonders. “If this is in fact a brand new cereal, it can’t be more marshmallows than ‘before.'”

“Is it a statement that this cereal has more marshmallows than say … a bag of sand, or a typical caesar salad?” the rocker continues. “Or, is it a DEMAND from Snoop Dogg himself that we just have more marshmallows in this world in general? That last theory is my hope.”

Diving even deeper into the existential dilemma of a Snoop Dogg-produced cereal, White notes that fellow rapper Master P also promoted Snoop Loopz on his Instagram, but the photo of the box in his post advertises only “more marshmallow,” singular.

“Photo attached, answers demanded,” White concludes.

While White’s questions are surely intriguing, they also raise more questions, mainly concerning what the White Stripes/Raconteurs/Dead Weather musician thinks about in his spare time. And, of course, we now can’t help but wonder what a Jack White-branded cereal would be called. Wheat Stripes? Seven Essential Vitamins & Minerals Army? I Can Tell That We Are Going to Be Flakes?

Perhaps someone can ask White about it during his ongoing solo tour supporting his new albums Fear of the Dawn and Entering Heaven Alive, which continues Wednesday in Indianapolis.

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