It's time for your #ThatSucks Stories! A Guy Lit His Flatulence on Fire...and Accidentally Sucked a Fireball Into His Colon! AND MORE
A Guy Lit His Flatulence on Fire . . . and Accidentally Sucked a Fireball Into His Colon
Approximately 100% of guys and 0.2% of women have thought about lighting their FLATULENCE on fire. You're curious about whether you can turn your sphincter into a flame thrower, right? Well, you can . . . but you really shouldn't.
A guy just posted a cautionary tale online about WHY you shouldn't light your flatulence on fire. And there's no way to know if it was true . . . but apparently he was hungover on Sunday, and had terrible gas.
So he asked his girlfriend if she'd hold a lighter by his butt next time he felt one coming. And she's an amazing girlfriend, because she said yes.
She put the lighter about six inches away, and he let one rip. Supposedly it created a really cool blue and orange fireball . . . then his sphincter started retracting . . . sucked IN the flame . . . and burned the outside AND inside of his colon.
He didn't need medical attention . . . but he says the pain was EXTREME and he burned a bunch of hair.
He's lucky, because it actually could've turned out much worse. If the flames had gotten a little higher inside him, they could've done serious damage to his colon.
A Flight to Help People Overcome a Fear of Flying Was Struck by Lightning
I've never heard of this before, but apparently there are special flights you can take to help you overcome your fear of FLYING. You go on a short, quick flight that proves just how safe airplanes really are.
Well . . . except when they're not.
There was a special "fear of flying" flight in Birmingham, England on Monday, and about 25 minutes into the 40-minute flight, its right wing was struck by LIGHTNING.
There wasn't much of a noise, but there was a giant flash inside the plane . . . and, I'm guessing, a LOT of screaming.
The flight landed safely . . . but stayed grounded for at least 30 hours afterward for repairs. There's no word on how the people on board reacted.
China woman gets foot stuck in the toilet
Emergency services were called to a house in Guangxi Province in China after the female had stood in the toilet bowl and got her limbs wedged.
The white porcelain bowl, which was set into the floor, had to be destroyed by the fire crew, but when their specialist equipment didn't work, they had to resort to the common household item in order to dig her out.
After the emergency services had carefully dug away some of the earth with a spoon, the woman was eventually able to lift her foot free.
According to local reports, the woman had slipped while taking a shower and got her foot stuck in the small toilet bowl.
Thankfully, despite her ordeal, she managed to escape with just a few cuts and bruises.
A Woman Went on an OkCupid Date With a Guy Named "Gooch" . . . and He Stole Her Car
You have to be careful when you do online dating. This woman is clearly NOT good at spotting red flags.
Back on February 26th, a woman in Waterford Township, New Jersey went on a first date with a 53-year-old guy she met on OkCupid named GOOCH.
Well, technically his name is Gennaro Aladena . . . but he goes almost exclusively by his nickname.
They went to a sports bar, then she took him home . . . where he promptly stole her car. It's a 2007 red Toyota Solara with the license plate "JSRYGRL."
Yes, there's a typo in the woman's license plate . . . it should be "JRSY" not "JSRY." Between that spelling error and her judgment error, she's not coming off great here. Maybe the Gooch was too good for her?
Motley Crue-Themed Food Truck Blows Up (Literally)
A food truck named in honor of one of hard rock’s most popular bands caused considerable damage to a quiet Minnesota town late Friday night (March 6). The Motley Crews Heavy Metal Grill, which is unaffiliated with Motley Crue, suddenly exploded while parked in the driveway of its owners.
The Star Tribune says that the blast, which was not followed by a fire or any other noise, affected up to 20 homes in Lakeville. It “shook nearby homes, shattered windows, snapped 2-by-4s in garages, blew open front doors and rattled dishes and other items from their shelves and off walls.”
Police believe the explosion was caused by a tank of cooking gas. One neighbor reported smelling propane within minutes of the accident. As of now, only two people are reported as having minor injuries, one of which was “hearing related.”
The owners the truck, Marty Richie and his partner Lisa, were set to open a restaurant this June. Early this morning, they posted the following message to their Facebook page. “Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. By the grace of God everyone is ok.”
A friend of the family named Rocki Forseth, whom Marty took in as a homeless teen, has already set up a GoFundMe page to help the family. “The entire truck is gone, vehicles [are] in shambles and their home is in dire need of repairs now. They will not be able to stay in their home since it is not safe and it is cold in Minnesota and they have no windows [...] They lost their business and home in one night [...] Help with anything you can spare as I am trying to pay it forward to a man who deserves this more than anyone I have ever met in my life.”
The page has currently raised more than $3,000 from more than 50 people.
Man Cleaning Snow Blower Has Fingers Chopped Off
A Weymouth man had a finger severed earlier this week when he tried to remove snow from a clogged snowblower, according to Weymouth Deputy Fire Chief Richard Chase.
“We have had a couple of snow blower accidents,” Chase said Wednesday. “One guy lost a finger and another got their finger mangled.”
Chase said residents should never remove snow from a snowblower blade or chute with their hand even when it is in an off position.
“People are under the mistaken impression they can do that when the motor is off,” he said. “Once you remove snow from the blade with your hand it will turn a quarter and it is enough to chop off a finger. The blades are only a quarter-of-an inch from the snowblower housing.”
According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission most injuries involving snowblowers occur when an operator tries to remove snow or debris from a clogged chute or auger.
Snowblower operators should always stop the engine when the machine is clogged and use a stick to unclog snow or debris.
The CPSC also advises snowblower users to: keep hands, and feet away from all moving parts; never leave the engine running in an enclosed area to prevent carbon monoxide poisoning; and never add fuel to the tank while the machine is running.
Operators of electric powered snowblowers should also know where the power chord is located to prevent injuries to themselves while operating the machinery.
Additional safety tips on avoiding snowblower related injuries are available on the CPSC website http://www.cpsc.gov .
Chase said firefighters are averaging about 25 weather-related calls daily since the storms began occurring a little more than two weeks ago.
Many of the calls have involved residents reporting chest pains while shoveling snow, according to Chase.
“We have got a lot of calls from people who are concerned about clogged direct vents which are low to the ground,” he said.
Chase said residents need to be sure to unclog a direct vent to avoid carbon monoxide poisoning.
“A lot of people have had concerns about snow amounts on their roof,” he said. “We had a couple of issues where some homes had cracked rafters, but there were no major cracks.”
National Weather Service meteorologist Stephanie Dunten said the snow will not be melting soon because cold temperature are predicted for the region Friday through Monday.
“We recommend homeowners scrape any snow off their roofs to avoid overloading as we have already seen a few roofs collapsing,” Dunten said.
Ice Destroys Maine Man's Car
A Portland man says he is fortunate to be alive after huge blocks of ice slid off the roof of a five-story building in the Old Port and pierced the front and rear windshields of his parked car Sunday.
Adam Sousa, 28, took a bus from Portland to Freeport on Sunday morning to attend a social gathering, and thought nothing of parking his car at a city meter on Exchange Street. On-street parking in Portland is free on Sundays.
But when Sousa returned Sunday afternoon, he was horrified to see his 2003 Chevrolet Cavalier had been destroyed when several chunks of ice fell through the front and rear windshields. The blocks were too heavy to lift and were about the size of an end table or small bureau. One chunk landed on the passenger side dashboard and almost reached the front passenger seat.
The brick building at the corner of Exchange and Fore streets is owned by well-known Portland landlord Joseph Soley, according to a Portland police spokesman. The building houses a general store, a psychic reader business, apartments and Bull Feeney’s, a popular Old Port bar and restaurant.
“Those icebergs went through my windshield. They could easily have killed someone, including me if I had been sitting in the car,” Sousa said while surveying the damage to his vehicle, which has about 80,000 miles on it. “When I parked there this morning, there were no warning signs or indications that people should use caution.”
Sousa has only liability auto insurance coverage and not comprehensive coverage, meaning his insurer won’t pay to repair his car or have it replaced. “They told me my insurance doesn’t cover an act of nature,” he said.
Sousa, who lives near Cheverus High School, relies on his car to get to and from his job at DiMillo’s waterfront restaurant, where he works as a bartender. Sousa said he’s in a jam because he doesn’t have a ride to work and lacks the financial resources to have his car repaired or replaced. His friends tried to comfort him as they stood near his crushed car late Sunday afternoon.
More icicles – many of them several feet long – still hung from the upper levels of the building Sunday night.
“Those chunks of ice could have killed someone,” said Robert Roy, who lived in the building until he moved out last October. Roy said falling chunks of ice were always a hazard during the three years that he lived there.
Portland police roped off the sidewalk in front of building.
“Things have been warming up and ice is falling,” Portland police Lt. Gary Hutcheson said.
Firefighters fight fire in their own firehouse
Salt Lake City firefighters battled a blaze at their own station.
Nine firefighters were at Station 2, near 300 North and 300 West, around 1:30 a.m. when the fire broke out in a utility closet on the second floor, where linens and towels are kept.
Four of the firefighters were on the fourth floor and used the fire pole to evacuate.
"Some of them weren't fully dressed when they were out here in the cold weather hooking the hose up to the hydrant and getting the hose ready," said Jasen Asay of the Salt Lake City Fire Department. "They were a little frazzled, as you would expect, waking up and having to fight a firefighter a minute later."
All nine firefighters were sent to a hospital as a precaution to be checked for smoke inhalation.
Station 2 remains out of operation. Investigators don't know yet what caused the fire.
Woman hurt from ice fall gets hit by ambulance
It was so slippery last night that a pedestrian who was injured in a fall in Montgomery County was struck by the ambulance sent to help, an ambulance sent help authorities said.
Montgomery County fire and rescue spokesman Pete Piringer said it happened on Cameron Hill Court in the Silver Spring area. The ambulance was traveling slowly when it slipped in the icy conditions, Piringer said. The injuries were not believed to be lifethreatening.