Check Out #FridayFailStories: Dude gets SUV stuck in sand taking car selfies, woman with meth uses "I'm Pregant and Have to Poop" excuse, Rattlesnake bites guy who tries to tongue kiss it AND MORE FAILS!
Dude Taking Car Selfies on Beach Gets SUV Stuck in Sand
via Daily Mail
A man's plans to take majestic photos of his Land Rover on the beach next to the Atlantic Ocean didn't turn out as planned.
When the driver got out of his car at Island Beach State Park in New Jersey, the vehicle quickly started sinking as the tide changed and it was buffeted by waves.
Park police responded on Tuesday to the report of a vehicle that was stuck in the sand, according to WNBC-TV.
When they arrived, they found the owner of the car frantically trying to shovel the vehicle from the surf line in order to keep it from sinking further.
Officials said that because it was a low tide when help arrived, the tow company was able to easily remove the vehicle.
A video posted to Facebook shows the man attempting to shovel out his white SUV. At one point a wave crashes over the Land Rover and he continues to dig, growing visibly more agitated.
After the tow company freed the vehicle, witnesses say the man wanted to drive it, even though its engine was making strange sounds and its lights were flashing.
The driver had a Mobile Sportfishing Vehicle permit allowing him to operate a four wheel drive on fishing beaches, and was not ticketed.
A Woman With Meth Tries the "I'm Pregnant and Have to Poop" Excuse
This woman busted out EVERY excuse she could think of to try to get away from the cops . . . and somehow, none of them worked.
A cop in Vero Beach, Florida tried to pull over a 35-year-old woman named Christina Sarao a few weeks ago because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Eventually she pulled into a driveway, and then she went into damage control mode . . . by which I mean she started spitting out every lie she could think of . . .
1. She said it was her grandma's house. It wasn't.
2. She said her name was Holly Smith. It's Christina Sarao.
3. She said she was pregnant. She isn't.
4. And she said she couldn't talk because she had to POOP. Actually, we can't confirm that one was a lie. It might've been true.
Anyway, the cops figured out she had three warrants and when they searched her, they found meth in her bra. She told them she got it from a yard sale down the street.
She was arrested on several charges.
A Rattlesnake Bites a Guy Who Tries to Tongue Kiss It
If I had to pinpoint where this guy's day went wrong, you know, I'd have to say it would be the moment he decided to make out with a venomous snake.
A guy named Ron Reinold in Bostwick, Florida was airlifted to the hospital on Tuesday after he tried to KISS a rattlesnake . . . and it bit him on the tongue.
His friends say he'd been drinking and the snake seemed calm, so he made his move . . . and it snapped. He's currently in critical condition but his family says it looks like he's going to survive.
Man dons Home Depot apron to steal air conditioners
Police say a man donned an orange Home Depot apron and posed as an employee to steal air conditioners in New Hampshire. But a manager noticed the name on the garment didn’t match that of any worker at the store.
Police arrested 53-year-old Bernardo Calana, of Haverhill, Massachusetts, on Saturday.
WMUR-TV reports Calana loaded two air conditions into his pickup truck in Plaistow and went back inside. A manager noticed the apron with the name “Shannon” with flowers drawn on it and called police.
Calana later told police he didn’t know anything about the air conditioners, but a Home Depot apron was found in his back pocket.
Calana was released on bail. The voice mailbox for a listed phone number for him was full.
A Guy Steals His Grandma's Security Camera So She Won't See Him Pleasuring Himself at Her House
Last month, a 27-year-old guy named Tristan Tucker broke into his grandma's house in St. Albans, West Virginia, to charge his phone.
And while he was there, he watched some PORN on his phone and pleasured himself.
Then he realized his grandma had security cameras running, and he didn't want her to see him doing such filthy things in her house. So he STOLE the cameras and the DVR with their footage, and hid them in a shed on her property.
Well . . . one of his grandma's friends just FOUND the DVR. And when they watched the footage, they quickly found out it was Tristan who'd broken into her house, so they went to the cops.
Tristan was arrested last week and charged with burglary.
A Guy With Cocaine Tries to Bribe a Cop With a Trip to Taco Bell
You know, if you're trying to BRIBE a cop, maybe it's best to offer more than about $4.99 and potential indigestion.
A 27-year-old guy named Eric Vela Arriaga from Pasco, Washington was pulled over last Thursday, and the cop spotted some COCAINE in the center console.
Eric knew he was screwed, so he tried to make a deal: He asked the cop if he could just kinda forget about the coke . . . in exchange for a trip to TACO BELL.
Believe it or not, the cop turned him down and arrested him for cocaine possession. And charges for the attempted bribe could be coming.
A Woman Robs a Store and Gets Arrested, Because She Brought Her Dog Along
Finally some payback for those people who insist on bringing their dogs EVERYWHERE . . .
A 26-year-old woman named Clara Aguirre robbed a burger place in Oklahoma City on Sunday while armed with a hammer. And she brought her dog along for it.
It's a pit bull, but she left it outside. So she didn't bring it to up the intimidation factor or anything.
She smashed a credit card machine with the hammer, and tried to take the entire cash register but it was bolted down. So she broke it open, and ran off with a bunch of cash.
The cops eventually caught up with her though, after she took too long scaling a few fences . . . because she had to help the DOG get over them.
Her dog actually started running WITH the cops while they were chasing her, and thought it was a game. She's facing charges for robbery with a dangerous weapon.
A Woman Tries Walking Across the Border With Two Big Bags of Heroin Strapped to Her Voluptuous Butt
If you're trying to avoid having people look at you, taking a nice, large, juicy butt and making it nicer, larger, and juicier really isn't the best strategy.
A 47-year-old woman with a huge rear end was stopped while walking across the border from Mexico into Nogales, Arizona on Tuesday.
And when Customs searched her, they found she had three pounds of HEROIN strapped to her butt under her pants.
She was arrested for drug smuggling.
Prisoner dressed as woman in failed escape bid
via The Telegraph
A convicted murderer being held at a maximum security prison in San Pedro Sula, Honduras, was caught by guards trying to escape while dressed in a skirt, with blonde wig and fake breasts.
55-year-old Francisco Herrera Argueta had disguised himself as a female visitor as part of an audacious escape bid, in which he attempted to walk out of the prison with the families of other inmates when visiting hours drew to a close.
Argueta put on blusher and painted his nails pink to complete the look - but he failed to fool prison guards, who noticed his "funny walk," and that he "spoke with a hoarse, male voice".
A Guy Crashes Into an Auto Parts Store . . . Where He Was Going to Get Brake Parts
I'm surprised this doesn't happen to auto parts stores more often.
A guy named Leonard Owens was driving to an Advanced Auto Parts store in Dry Ridge, Kentucky on Tuesday morning because he needed to fix his brake lines.
And apparently he REALLY needed those parts, because as he was pulling into a parking space, his brakes failed . . . and he SMASHED right through the front of the store.
Fortunately, no one was hurt. The police haven't said whether he'll be cited.