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Blog > Rizzuto Show Blog > Fail Stories > A Guy Pulls Down a Woman's Shorts When She's Jogging . . . Turns Out She's a U.S. Marshal and Beats the Hell Out of Him

A Guy Pulls Down a Woman's Shorts When She's Jogging . . . Turns Out She's a U.S. Marshal and Beats the Hell Out of Him

FAIL! A Guy Pulls Down a Woman's Shorts When She's Jogging . . . Turns Out She's a U.S. Marshal and Beats the Hell Out of Him

This is such perfect, sweet justice . . . even though it's scary that crimes like this still happen. A woman was out jogging by herself on a trail in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on Tuesday afternoon, when 19-year-old Robert Flynn ran up behind her, grabbed her, and pulled her SHORTS down.  Then he took off running. But he didn't realize the woman he'd just attacked was a U.S. MARSHAL.  She started sprinting after him, and eventually cornered him on a staircase in an apartment building.  He lunged at her . . . and she kicked him in the groin and took him down with a punch to the face. He was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, indecent assault, escape, and giving a fake name to a law enforcement officer.  The cops also linked him to another incident where he lifted up a woman's skirt then ran off.

FAIL! "Sleepy Hollow's" PR Team Is Sorry for the "Unfortunate Timing" of Their "National Beheading Day" Promotion

 

 A PR firm working with the Fox show "Sleepy Hollow" has apologized for the "unfortunate timing" of their "National Beheading Day" promotion, which was meant to hype the DVD release of the show's first season. On Tuesday, they sent an email out to journalists, saying, quote, "Heads will roll as sleepyheads celebrate 'Headless Day' September 2nd.  On this National Beheading Day, viewers everywhere can share in the fun as fans prepare for the release of 'Sleepy Hollow' Season One."  It also encouraged people to use the hash-tag "#HeadlessDay." The problem . . . and crazy coincidence is . . . this came out JUST after the news broke that American journalist Steve Sotloff had been beheaded by the terrorist group ISIS. Naturally, the PR group is now apologizing.  They say, quote, "The tragic news hit the web as the email was being sent.  Our deepest sympathies are with [Sotloff] and his family, and we don't take the news lightly.  "Had we known this information prior, we would've never released the alert, and [we] realize it's in poor taste."

California lawyer fined for zapping witness with trick pen

A California attorney has been fined $3,000 for zapping a witness with a trick pen during a Utah trial over whether electrical currents from a power plant are harming cows. Fourth District Judge James Brady this week ruled Los Angeles-based lawyer Don Howarth's conduct amounted to "battery of a witness." While testifying against dairy farmers who claim currents from the Delta power plant harm cattle, expert Athanasios Meliopoulos said 1.5 volts couldn't be felt by a person. The Salt Lake Tribune reports Howarth, who represented dairy farmers gave a child's gag pen to Meliopoulos, told him it contained a 1.5-volt AAA battery and challenged him to push it. Brady says Meliopoulos "received a strong electric shock" because the pen also contained a transformer that boosted the battery up to 750 volts.

FAIL!

An Oklahoma man is suing his plastic surgeon, because he got a nose job in 2006 after his divorce...and seven years and 22 surgeries later, his nose is pretty much GONE. FAIL!

A Teenager Quits His Job at Target . . . Then Robs a Family in the Parking Lot on the Way Out

 If you're going to quit a minimum wage job, it's hard to go out in a more IDIOTIC and MEMORABLE way than this. On Sunday, 17-year-old Keddy Oliver of Westbury, New York quit his job at a Target in Hicksville, New York.  (Both cities are on Long Island.) And on the way out, he walked up to a family with two small children in the parking lot . . . and ROBBED THEM. He pretended he had a gun in his pocket and demanded money.  The mother gave him some, then Keddy took off. But it was pretty easy for Target to help the police figure out who the thief was . . . since, you know, he'd quit LITERALLY minutes earlier.  The cops tracked him down at home. He was arrested on two counts of robbery and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child.

Prisoners Sneak Out and Get Drunk . . . Then Get Busted When They Get Into a Brawl

 

 There are four inmates at a minimum-security prison in Darwin, Australia who'd been breaking out to get drunk, then breaking back in before the guards noticed they were missing. And they might've gotten away with it forever . . . except that drunk people do drunk things. The four of them broke out on Sunday night, got hammered, and broke back in.  But once they were back inside, they got into a DRUNKEN BRAWL over a cell phone one of them had smuggled into the prison. When the guards broke up the fight, they could tell the guys were drunk and started investigating.  They found a bunch of empty liquor bottles right outside the prison, along with some marijuana and rolling papers. So all four guys were moved into the maximum-security part of the prison.

A Guy Calls in a Bomb Threat From a Pay Phone . . . But He'll Be Caught Because He Thought He Needed Change to Call 911

 

  A guy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida wanted to call in a fake bomb threat to the electric company last week . . . we're not sure why, but seeing as he's an idiot, it couldn't have been a particularly genius reason. So he went to a pay phone outside a BP gas station to call 911. But first, he stopped inside the gas station to get some change.  Clearly, he didn't realize you can call 911 from a pay phone WITHOUT putting in any money.  And he ALSO clearly didn't realize the gas station had security cameras inside. So while he was in there getting change, the security cameras got a perfect look at his face. That SHOULD be enough for the cops to track him down soon . . . meaning he'll wind up getting arrested because of a lack of pay phone knowledge.

Idaho Professor Accidentally Shoots Himself While Teaching Class

Allowing college students and faculty to carry guns on campus makes everybody safer, right? If you answered that the way the NRA does, then maybe consider what just happened at Idaho State University on Tuesday afternoon: A professor was wounded when the gun he had in his pocket accidentally went off. According to local news outlet KIDK, the professor (who had a concealed-carry permit but hasn't been identified at this point) was in the middle of teaching class when he literally shot himself in the foot:

 

Troopers bust driver with cardboard license plate

A Massachusetts state trooper patrolling in Chicopee was not fooled by the woman who attached a piece of cardboard to the back of her car in an attempt to pass it off as a license plate Tuesday morning. A trooper from the Springfield barracks initiated a traffic stop on Interstate 391 about 7:30 a.m. after spotting the plate, which had its letters and numbers drawn in pencil and colored in with red marker. The plate had ‘Massachusetts' and ‘The Spirit of America' drawn in the appropriate places with blue ink, but it did not have an inspection sticker. The driver, 20-year-old Johanna Baez-Rodriguez, of Springfield, was issued a summons to court for multiple motor vehicle violations, including operating with a suspended license and revoked registration, according to Trooper Nicole Morrell. "It's illegal," Morrell said. "To be on the road you need to have a registered vehicle and a proper registration sticker or you will get a citation." Baez-Rodriguez's vehicle was towed from the scene after she was cited.

Man calls cops, asks for a ride to pick up beer, gets arrested

Ocala police arrested 34-year-old Adam Lanquist for allegedly calling police numerous times and eventually asking for a ride to the store so he could get a drink. The Ocala resident initially told police they needed to arrest his girlfriend for domestic violence charges. After officers took her away, Lanquist continued to call 911, saying his girlfriend should have been taken to a rehab facility instead of jail, the station reported. During one of the calls, he also asked for a ride to the store for a drink. Lanquist was charged with misuse of 911 and transported to Marion County Jail on $500 bail, according to jail records.

Cops Made a Woman Who Swallowed a Stolen Ring Sift Through Her Poop to Find It

 

 25-year-old Christina Schlegel of Orem, Utah went to a Zales jewelry store with her boyfriend over the weekend . . . and they stole a ring worth several thousand dollars. And when a mall security guard chased them, Christina SWALLOWED the ring.  But the cops caught them a few minutes later and arrested them.  So now they're both in jail, and the cops are playing a waiting game . . . until the ring PASSES through Christina. But there's a twist.  Craig Martinez is a spokesman for the Orem police, and he says, quote, "We don't get paid enough to dig through people's bowel movements."  So . . . Christina has to sift through her OWN poop to find the ring. She's in a cell with a toilet that doesn't flush . . . and when she's done using it, she has to go on a treasure hunt for the ring.  She and her boyfriend are both facing felony theft charges. 

 

 

 

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