FRIDAY FAIL STORIES
FAIL! GUY ROBS HOUSE...STEAL GUN...GUN ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS WIFE
A woman is in critical condition after a rifle in the back seat of her station wagon, allegedly stolen by her husband during a home burglary, accidentally fired and hit her in the stomach while she was unloading groceries, according to the Mohave County Sheriff's Office. Mohave deputies responded to a trespassing call from a homeowner at roughly 7 a.m. on July 9th. The caller said two men broke into his house by breaking a bedroom window and that he was barricaded in his garage with a pellet gun. By the time officers arrived, the suspects were gone and the victim said they had stolen a laptop, $18 and a .22-caliber rifle. The victim was able to identify one suspect as Justin Wayne Thompson and described the other one as having tattoos on his arms, chest and back. A witness said the two suspects left in a red car. A few hours later, at about 10 a.m., deputies responded to an accidental shooting with a .22-caliber rifle. The victim was being taken to be airlifted to a Las Vegas hospital while police were en route.. When the police arrived, they saw two men and a woman standing near a red station wagon. The officers were able to identify one of the men as Thompson, and they took him into custody. The woman at the scene said she and her daughter were unloading groceries when a rifle in the backseat fired and hit her daughter, who was also Thompson's wife. The rifle was broken into two pieces, but police were able to identify that it was the one stolen in the burglary earlier that morning. Investigations so far have shown that no one else was in the car when the rifle fired. Deputies found a man matching the other suspect's description in a trailer on the property and took him into custody. The second suspect was identify as Michael Blaine Turner. Turner was on parole after being released from prison for armed robbery. Officers also found the stolen laptop in a trailer. Turner and Thompson are both facing felony charges of burglary and possession of a weapon by prohibited persons. Thompson's wife, the accidental shooting victim, is currently listed in critical condition after being airlifted to Sunrise Medical Center in Las Vegas. GREAT MUG SHOT
FAIL! A WOMAN WHO STOLE A DRESS IS BUSTED WHEN SHE POSTS SELFIES ON FACEBOOK
Social media keeps getting better and better at taking down idiot criminals. 27-year-old Danielle Saxton of West Frankfort, Illinois stole a leopard print dress from a store called Mortie's Boutique earlier this month. And then she took a few selfies in the dress and posted them on FACEBOOK. One of the store's co-owners also went on Facebook, and posted about the dress being stolen. And since West Frankfort has a population of only around 8,000 people, there was obviously some overlap between the owner's friends and Danielle's friends. A few people immediately pointed him to Danielle's selfies, he called the cops, and Danielle was just arrested for misdemeanor retail theft.
FAIL! TEENS TRY TO BREAK INTO COP CAR WITH OFFICER INSIDE
Three teens were charged with attempted burglary after authorities say they tried to open the door of a parked car while an undercover St. Petersburg police detective sat inside. The detective was watching an area because officers received reports that teens were trying to open parked car doors. The detective watched the teens try other doors. Apparently unaware he was inside, the teens tried the detective's door last. The Tampa Bay Times reports that the teens, girls ages 13 and 15 and a 14-year-old boy, were arrested. All three were charged with possession of burglary tools and burglary on a vehicle.
FAIL! MAN TRIES TO RUN FROM COPS...HIDES IN POLICE ACADEMY
Last Wednesday, a cop in Biloxi, Mississippi saw 30-year-old Roger Beasley driving down the street, and knew from an earlier encounter that he didn't have a license. But when he tried to pull him over, Roger jumped out of his car and took off on foot. So the cop got out and ran after him. At that point Roger actually had a chance of getting away. But then he tried to run into a building to hide . . . and it turned out to be a POLICE ACADEMY. It was the Harrison County Law Enforcement Training Academy, and police academy was IN SESSION. There were even marked police cars parked out front. Apparently Roger didn't notice, because he made it all the way to the front door. Naturally, he was outnumbered and arrested. He's charged with resisting arrest, driving without a license, careless driving, making an improper lane change, and failure to comply. But his most serious charge is possession with intent to distribute . . . because they also found a bunch of CRACK.
FAIL! FATHER CHARGED IN BABY DUNKING
A man told police that when he dunked his 2-month-old son in Stiles Reservoir on Sunday, he and his friends were simply mimicking YouTube videos he'd watched about teaching babies to hold their breath underwater. Nicholas St. Francis, 23, and friends allegedly videotaped the incident. Police said the video showed the baby being submerged while adults laughed and cheered. A police report indicates the participants were drinking. Police were alerted when a friend of the baby's mother called 911 to report that she'd seen the video and it appeared Mr. St. Francis was "trying to drown the baby." The child's mother, Kendra Ballou, left her job and went home after receiving the video. Ms. Ballou told police she phoned an on-call number for her doctor's office and was told the child would be fine, but she later took the baby to a Worcester hospital, a police report said. Mr. St. Francis followed on his motorcycle as police were trying to find them.Once they were at the hospital and police had found the couple, an officer viewed the video and described it in a report. "Nicholas was shown holding the infant and dipping him twice into the lake. The third time the entire child was submerged. The screaming child was lifted out of the water to cheers and laughter from the adults," Officer Valerie Morin wrote. According to court documents, the 2-month-old's parents were upset that police were investigating, and Ms. Ballou was angry that her friend had alerted police. "Kendra stated she watched videos of baby dunking on YouTube. All the videos claim the baby could not drown. All you had to do was blow into the baby's face and the baby will start to breathe again," the report said. Mr. St. Francis told police he'd been drinking but the baby was not harmed "so he did not understand what the problem was," according to court documents. The state Department of Children and Families was notified and, police said, Ms. Ballou then "changed and was concerned for the child." She told police she now believed Mr. St. Francis used poor judgment "and she will do whatever it takes to keep her child." She then took the child and left to stay out of town. Monday before Judge Jennifer L. Ginsburg in Western Worcester District Court in East Brookfield, bail was set at $500 for Mr. St. Francis on charges of reckless endangerment of a child and assault and battery. He was ordered to comply with DCF recommendations and is due back in court Sept. 9.
FAIL! A BURGLAR IS BUSTED WHEN HE ACCIDENTALLY DROPS HIS PRISON RELEASE PAPERS AT THE SCENE
31-year-old Andrew Graham of Leicester, England got out of prison last month after doing time for burglary. And the first thing he did once he got out was . . . break into a hair salon to rob the place. He stole almost $10,000 worth of equipment plus a few iPads. But somehow, in the process, he managed to drop his PRISON RELEASE PAPERS. They had his name, all of his info, and his photo. So when the salon's owners got there the next day, they found their place trashed . . . and the prison release papers from the guy who clearly trashed it. The cops arrested Andrew two days later. He just got sent back to prison for 12 more months.
FAIL! STOLEN CAR BREAKS DOWN IN FRONT OF POLICE STATION
An alleged drunk driver went on a haphazard spree through downtown Seattle Friday night, striking two vehicles head-on in a stolen Mustang before the car broke down near the Seattle Police Department headquarters. It began with the driver taking the Mustang in the wrong direction just before 6:30 p.m. along one-way Second Avenue, where he hit an Audi driven by a valet head-on, Seattle police reports say. The driver then flung a bottle of whiskey out the window and drove off, later running a red light at Fifth Avenue and James Street, where the Mustang hit a bus head-on, according to reports. The impact damaged the bike carrier on the bus and severely mangled the Mustang, which sputtered to a halt at Fifth Avenue and Cherry Street, right near the police headquarters. At that time, head police spokesman Sgt. Sean Whitcomb was leaving the building in plainclothes when he saw the wrecked Mustang traveling the wrong way on Fifth Avenue. He reportedly told the driver he was a police officer and to remain at the scene, reports say. Patrol officers responded and arrested the driver, who admitted he had knocked back eight shots of whiskey. No one was hurt during the spree. Police booked him into King County Jail for investigation of hit-and-run, DUI and vehicle theft.
FAIL! WOMAN DINES AND DASHES...LEAVES BEHIND PURSE
An Alberta woman who dined and dashed from a pub in Brandon, Man., is going to be paying a much heftier bill and possibly looking for some new friends. She was one of three women who downed $160 worth of liquor and food and ran for it. But she was the only one caught when she returned to retrieve her forgotten purse. Kyla Anne MacMillan of Red Deer, Alta., pleaded guilty Monday to fraudulently obtaining food. Court was told MacMillan and two friends ate wings and nachos and downed 23 shots — six of tequila, 10 B-52s, six Dirty Hookers and one vodka — plus a pitcher of beer. Judge Donovan Dvorak fined her $325 including costs and ordered her to pay the $160 bill. MacMillan claimed she was going to the ATM outside the pub, but the trio took off, with MacMillan being forced to return when she realized she needed her medication, which was in the purse she’d left behind. Defence lawyer Ryan Fawcett told court his client has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and arrived in Brandon two weeks ago, but hasn’t been taking her medication despite having it with her. MacMillan, who is unemployed, had $5.35 on her and her bank account balance was at zero.
FAIL! A CRIMINAL WRITES "YA'LL WILL NEVER CATCH ME" ON A POLICE DEPARTMENT FACEBOOK PAGE...THEY CATCH HIM THE NEXT DAY
28-year-old Roger Ray Ireland of Edgewater, Maryland has a warrant out for his arrest for violating probation. And the Anne Arundel County, Maryland police department does something called "Wanted Wednesdays" where they make old-school wanted posters for people with warrants, and posts them on Facebook. Last Wednesday, they posted one for Roger. But when he found out it was on Facebook, he left a COMMENT on it . . . saying, quote, "Y'all will never catch me." That clearly made the cops more motivated to catch him. They used a combo of leads and tips and tracked him down in Baltimore the next day.
FAIL! AN ARSONIST TRIES TO BURN DOWN A BUIDLING...BUT ACCIDENTALLY SETS HIMSELF ON FIRE AND LEAVES HIS WALLET BEHIND
I don't know all the nuances that go into being GOOD at arson, but I can definitely identify what makes a person BAD at arson. And 31-year-old Arthur Avery of South Daytona, Florida is bad at arson. Arthur went to an apartment complex on Saturday morning and started banging on doors, looking for a guy named Ted. A woman told him no one named Ted lived there. So Arthur started splashing gasoline on the building to set it on fire. But, in the process . . . he accidentally set HIMSELF on fire. When Arthur bent down to light up the building, he caught himself on fire. He stopped, dropped, and rolled . . . and in the process, his wallet fell out. Some friend took him to the hospital to be treated for his burns. The cops took his driver's license out of his wallet, showed it to witnesses, they identified him as the guy trying to burn down the building, and the cops arrested him. He did a little damage to the building but firefighters were able to put it out quickly.
FAIL! BARTENDER ACCIDENTALLY SETS MAN'S FACE ON FIRE WITH FLAMING SHOT
A bartender at Naktinis Tbilisis, a club in Lithuania, accidentally set a patron's face on fire while making a flaming drink. The man had ordered a Flaming Lamborghini which features "a combination of Sambuca and Kahlua, set alight and downed quickly through a straw while it's still on fire." A video of the incident shows that many patrons rushed to the man's aid, but it appears as though the staff just kept serving.The club's owner, along with the bartender who made the drink, visited the man in the hospital where he was being treated for burns to his face and his ears. The owner also "promised to pay the cost of treatment." According to, the burns should "heal pretty well but the doctors are unsure of whether or not the scars will fade or if he will need plastic surgery. The man was apparently completely sober at the time of ordering the drink. CHECK IT OUT
FAIL! A TORNADO TEARS THROUGH A GUY'S HOUSE...AND THROWS ALL THE STUFF HE STOLE FROM HIS NEIGHBORS ONTO HIS LAWN
You don't hear many stories about tornados causing something GOOD to happen. But today, we've got one. On Sunday, a tornado tore through Kingsport, Tennessee and damaged several homes, including a place that belongs to 26-year-old Jerrod Christian. And in the process of ripping through his house, the tornado flung a bunch of Jerrod's stuff onto his lawn . . . including a bunch of stuff he'd STOLEN from his neighbors, like several expensive power tools. So when his neighbors went over to see if they could help him out, they were shocked to see their stuff on his lawn. They called the cops . . . but it turned out Jerrod was already in jail for disorderly conduct. Now he's been charged with burglary and theft.
FAIL! A BANK ROBBER IS BUSTED BECAUSE SHE'S TOO OUT-OF-SHAPE TO RUN AWAY
If everyone in America continues to get chubbier and chubbier, could it mean the end of CRIME? Here's a glimpse into our candy-coated future that says YES. 23-year-old Shantoria Valentine of Omaha, Nebraska walked into a Wells Fargo bank branch on Monday afternoon and handed the teller a note saying she had a BOMB, and demanding money. So the teller gave her some cash, and Shantoria took off running. Or at least she TRIED. According to a witness, Shantoria wasn't really in running shape, quote, "she'd shuffle a little bit, run a little bit, walk a little bit, shuffle a little bit." Finally, a few blocks later, she just gave up and COLLAPSED on the sidewalk. The cops arrested her . . . but she was so winded from trying to run a few blocks she actually needed medical attention and was hospitalized. Shantoria is facing felony charges for robbery, making terroristic threats, and threatening to use explosives.
FAIL! GIRLFRIEND STOPS SUICIDE ATTEMPT...GETS SHOT DIRECTLY IN THE CHEST
A 50-year-old man will serve seven years in jail after accidentally shooting his girlfriend during a suicide attempt. Authorities said he was depressed and put the shotgun in his mouth. His girlfriend tried to stop him by hitting him in the head with the butt of another gun, but that caused him to involuntarily squeeze the trigger and shoot her in the upper chest. The victim, who is permanently disfigured, begged the judge for a more lenient sentence, saying there was no intent to harm her. FAIL!
FAIL! MARYLAND MAN KILLED WHILE TESTING BULLETPROOF VEST
A Maryland man faced murder charges on Friday after accidentally shooting his friend while testing out a bulletproof vest, a shooting reportedly recorded on a video camera. Baltimore police arrested Mark Ramiro, 30, after he fatally shot Darnell Mitchell, 28, late on Wednesday. The Baltimore Sun reported on Friday the shooting was recorded on a video camera by a third person. In that video, Mitchell brags that he is about to take a “deuce deuce in the chest” - a shot from a .22-caliber bullet - before Ramiro, who is seen standing in front of Mitchell, fired the handgun once. He struck Mitchell just above the vest, the newspaper said. Police would not comment on specific evidence. Ramiro drove Mitchell to a hospital where he was pronounced dead, according to police. Ramiro is being held on homicide charges and weapons violations.
FAIL! MAN CUT IN HALF BY ELEVATORS
A 20-year-old man was found crushed to death in an elevator shaft at a Bronx public housing building early Monday, authorities said. Tito Morales, 20, somehow entered the shaft and got wedged between the wall and the elevator car between the 18th and 19th floors of the Tinton Ave. building, cops said. He was found about 4 a.m., cops said. Morales, whose nickname was Bebo, died before emergency workers arrived, cops said. About 30 people gathered to see the body being taken out of at the Adams Houses. Loved ones cried and hugged one another. One woman was screaming and sobbing uncontrollably, shouting, "Mi niño! Mi niño!" Family and friends embraced and consoled her. Evangelita Presinal, 22, grew up with Morales and said she had just visited his girlfriend, who lives in the building. "I just came from her house. She's devastated," said Presinal. "He was just a humble person, stuck to himself.” Presinal said Morales was a tattoo artist and had done a tattoo for her brother. "That's his favorite thing to do, tattoos,” she said.