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THURSDAY'S DISCOUNT NEWS

Couples Who Smoke Weed Together Are Less Likely to Fight

 

  We're not going to tell you to do something illegal . . . but if you and your husband or wife both happen to have glaucoma or some kind of serious bone disease, smoke your legal marijuana together right now. A new study from the University of Buffalo in New York found that couples who smoke WEED together have a SIGNIFICANTLY lower rate of fighting and domestic violence. And their main theory WHY is the same one you probably just thought of:  Marijuana mellows you out and makes you happy.  When people are happy, they don't fight. This study was partially funded by the National Institute for Drug Abuse, which is actually AGAINST legalizing marijuana . . . so the fact that the study has a pro-marijuana result gives it a lot of credibility.

 

BRAZILIAN MAN DECLARED DEAD AWAKES IN BODY BAG

The grieving family of a 54-year-old man declared dead by Brazilian doctors got the shock of a lifetime when they say his body bag started "wriggling." Valdelucio Goncalves already had his wrists and ankles bound and nose and ears stuffed with cotton when he woke inside a morgue on Sunday at the Menandro de Farias General Hospital in Salvador, said his family. The stubborn man had only hours before suffered two heart attacks while battling advanced-stage cancer in the hospital. "Really I thought he was dead, he looked yellow and had no vital signs,"  It was while Valaderes and his uncle had stopping by with a change of clothes for his funeral that they say the plastic bag he was zipped up inside started moving. "As I got closer I could see it wriggling. Then I saw it raising and falling as if he was breathing," he told G1.

 

THERE'S A TOWN IN BRAZIL WITH NOTHING BUT WOMEN...AND THEY NEED SINGLE MEN

There's a small town in southeast Brazil called Noiva do Cordeiro that's incredibly unique.  The entire population is WOMEN.   About 600 women live there, and most of them are under 35.  (The town's pronounced Noi-ay-va doo cord-AIR-oh.) It was founded by a woman in 1891 after the Catholic Church excommunicated her for leaving her husband.  Then she took in OTHER women who were kicked out of their towns, like prostitutes. That's how the tradition started anyway.  These days, men are basically BANNED . . . there are a few husbands, but they're only allowed in town on weekends.  And sons are sent away at 18. So the women run everything . . . and one woman there says, quote, "it's prettier, more organized, and far more harmonious than if men were in charge." There's only one problem.  A lot of the women are single and lonely . . . so they're considering opening up thE town to men for the first time ever. A 23-year-old woman says, quote, "The only men we single girls meet are either married or related to us, everyone is a cousin.  We all dream of falling in love and getting married, but we like living here and don't want to have to leave." CHECK EM OUT HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE

 

A 22-Year-Old Tells His Dad He's Dropping Out of College . . . So His Dad Pulls Out a Gun and Tells Him to Reconsider

  Let's call this the 2014 evolution of that old "Stay in School" ad campaign.  These days, we want less talk and more FIREPOWER, baby. 55-year-old Viktor Barkov of Elmwood Park, Illinois has a 22-year-old son who's supposed to be heading back to college. We're not sure WHICH college, but over the weekend, Viktor's son announced he was dropping out. And Viktor responded by . . . pulling out his GUN, putting it up to his son's HEAD, and telling him, quote, "If you don't go back to school I'm going to put a hole through your head." The police came, and Viktor was arrested for aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon.  There's no word if his son decided to go back to school after all.
 

LOCAL CREEPER: NAKED MAN GETS IN BED WITH HUSBAND AND WIFE

A teen is accused of climbing into bed naked with a couple and sexually molesting the woman.  Mario Garcia-Sainz, 18, has been charged with felony burglary, sodomy, sexual abuse and misdemeanor sexual misconduct. Police say Garcia started to touch the woman over her clothing in bed.  She was sleeping and thought it was her husband. She told him to stop.   Garcia told her to go back to sleep. She began yelling after she realized that the man touching her was not her husband.  The husband chased Garcia after he jumped out of a window.  He held the teen until police arrived on the scene. Garcia is currently being held in the Warren County Jail on a $100,000 bond.

CREEPER: A Man Is Busted Trying to Take Upskirt Photos at a Walmart Using an iPod Hidden in His Shoe

  Only an incredible pervert would be desperate to find out what the lovely ladies of a Walmart are hiding under their skirts on a random weekday night.  40-year-old Paul Senzee of Apopka, Florida is that pervert. Paul went to Walmart in Sanford, Florida on Tuesday night with an elaborate camera setup to try to get some upskirt photos. He cut a hole in his black dress shoe, put an iPod Touch in the shoe, and positioned the camera under the hole.  His plan was to get close to women in skirts, casually slide his food under them, and take a photo. We're not sure if he had his camera recording the whole time, or if he was using his toe to try to take photos at the right time . . . but whatever his plan was, it all got blown up by one thing:  He wasn't very subtle. The first time he tried to take a photo up a woman's skirt, she caught him and started yelling at him.  Security grabbed him, the cops came, found the camera in his shoe, and he was arrested for felony video voyeurism.

CREEPER: A Man Is Busted Having Sex With a Mattress, Because the Porn on His Portable DVD Player Is So Loud

  52-year-old Martin Coll is a homeless guy in Derry, Northern Ireland.  And he was lucky enough to find a mattress in the garage of an old folks' home on Saturday night. But not to sleep on it . . . he was happy to find the mattress because he could have SEX with it. Martin pulled up some porn on his portable DVD player, and watched it as he humped the mattress. Unfortunately for him, the porn was a little loud . . . and someone called the cops because they heard sex noises coming from the garage.  When the cops got there, they found Martin with his pants down, going to town on the mattress. He was charged with outraging public decency and committing a lewd act . . . a judge just gave him a suspended four-month jail sentence as long as he goes to a halfway house to try to get his life together.

 

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