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THURSDAY'S DISCOUNT NEWS

NATIONAL MOMENT OF SILENCE

A national moment of silence will honor police brutality victims, including 18-year-old Michael Brown, Thursday. According to NBC News, as many as 50 cities in 30 states will host vigils. Feminista Jones spread the idea across social media due to recent incidents in Los Angeles, New York and Missouri. Saturday afternoon, Michael Brown was shot and killed during a struggle with a police officer. Brown was unarmed. According to National Moment of Silence's Facebook page, a vigil will be held in St. Louis at the Gateway Arch at 6:20 p.m. More than 800 have confirmed to attend, according to the Facebook page. Other Missouri ceremonies will be held in Springfield, Kansas City and St. Joseph. #NMOS14 and #NMOS14STL will be used on social media throughout the day for the national movement.

DOCTOR IN TROUBLE FOR FORCING EMPLOYEE TO MOTORBOAT HER

There's a 44-year-old doctor in West Virginia who's in trouble for allegedly writing bad prescriptions.  Which is totally unprofessional . . . just not very interesting.  But she's facing another allegation we CAN'T ignore. She's also accused of making one of her female employees MOTORBOAT her.  NOW we're talkin'. If you don't know what motorboating is, the "Charleston Daily Mail" says, quote, "'Motorboating' is slang for a person moving his or her face back and forth between another person's breasts and making a sound like a boat engine." Dr. Tressie Montene Duffy is the CEO of West Virginia Weight and Wellness Inc., which is a clinic that focuses on weight loss. And an employee says that in 2012, Duffy had just gotten a breast augmentation and lifted up her shirt to show the staff.  Then she made the woman motorboat her . . . and also kissed her on the lips. As for the prescriptions, she's accused of writing them for "office use" then using them herself . . . and signing blank prescription pads so the staff could prescribe painkillers and antidepressants to patients while she was away. Duffy is denying everything.  She'll have a hearing in front of the West Virginia Board of Medicine on November 17th.

GUY CALLS POLICE TO REPORT A CHICKEN CROSSING THE ROAD

A guy in Portland, Oregon called the police on Monday night . . . to report a CHICKEN crossing the road. And the chicken was taking its sweet time getting to the other side of the highway.  It was actually causing traffic problems . . . and creating a potentially dangerous situation. Since the guy called the non-emergency line . . . not 911 . . . the dispatcher was actually HAPPY he called, and THANKED him for reporting it.  Especially since the chicken really might've been in a dangerous spot. The police even posted the call online . . . just search for "Portland chicken road". The cops actually went out to look for the chicken, but when they got to the highway they couldn't find it. In other words, a guy in one of America's most ironic hipster-filled cities called the police in a NON-ironic way to report a classic joke happening in real life, and everyone took it completely seriously.  I'm not sure anyone knows what's real and what's not anymore.

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