Crap on Celebrities
TUESDAY'S CRAP ON CELEBRITIES
"The Simpsons" is killing off a "major character" on the 26th season premiere on September 28th, and it's now sounding like it may be Krusty the Clown. Executive producer Al Jean started the rumors when he announced the episode would be titled "A Clown in the Dumps." He added, quote, "It turned out bigger than we thought it was going to be. [But] it's not going to be this bloodbath where they all get murdered." After word began spreading, he said, quote, "I didn't say I was killing Krusty . . . I didn't say I wasn't." By the way, the "Simpsons" / "Family Guy" crossover that will occur during the September 28th season premiere of "Family Guy" will also include an appearance by Bob from "Bob's Burgers". Also, FXX is launching their new syndication deal with the "Simpsons" by airing every single episode of the show . . . in chronological order . . . in an epic, 12-DAY marathon, beginning on August 21st. That includes all 552 episodes to date, plus the movie, which will air after episode 400. And then in October, FXX is launching "Simpsons World," a website and app for streaming any Simpsons episode at any time. It'll also include trivia . . . and you'll be able to search by characters and clips.
KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST reportedly spend $500,000 on a decoy for their daughter North, so the real kid won't get harassed by the paparazzi. Sources say they held a casting call so they could find a baby who looks enough like North to throw off photographers. And they also have a look-alike nanny to pair up with her. It's not clear how much the nanny is getting paid, or how much work the baby has to do to earn that 500-grand.
We all do dumb things when we're sexually inexperienced . . . but when SNOOKI lost her virginity, she and the guy may have set a record for stupidity. Snooki says, quote, "We were so young, and I didn't want to get pregnant, so he literally put Saran Wrap on his penis and we tried to have sex, and it hurt him and it was stupid."
When you're bisexual, you probably get a lot of people asking how you can possibly be in a monogamous relationship with one gender or the other, since you dig both. Well, "True Blood" minx ANNA PAQUIN is married to her co-star STEPHEN MOYER, and she would like you to know it's possible. She says, quote, "There's people that are going to probably go to their grave thinking whatever they think about the LGBT community. That's their problem, not mine. "And there's people that think that monogamy and bisexuality are mutually exclusive. Again, their problem not mine." "The reason I feel like it's important to talk about this stuff is that the more normal and, frankly, mundane and boring this stuff becomes, I think the better it's going to be for everyone who is part of our community."
For the second straight year, ROBERT DOWNEY JR. tops Forbes.com's annual list of The Highest Paid Actors in Hollywood. He reportedly raked in $75 million over the past 12 months. Here's rest of the Top 5…. Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock, $52 million 3. Bradley Cooper, $46 million 4. Leonardo DiCaprio, $29 million 5. Chris Hemsworth, $37 million.
Before PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN passed away earlier this year, his accountant suggested that he set aside some cash for his three kids. But Philip rejected that idea, because he didn't want them to be spoiled. His accountant says they talked about it a few times, but Philip didn't want his children to be, quote, "trust fund kids." His kids . . . an 11-year-old son, a seven-year-old daughter and a five-year-old daughter . . . aren't getting any money DIRECTLY, but they will be taken care of. Hoffman left his whole estate, which is estimated at $35 MILLION, to his longtime girlfriend, Mimi O'Donnell. She's the mother of all three kids, and the accountant said Philip believed she'd, quote, "take care of the children." Earlier this year, we heard that Hoffman will asked that the kids be raised in Manhattan, San Francisco or Chicago . . . so that they could be exposed to, quote, "the culture, arts, and architecture" that they offer.
Yesterday, DONALD TRUMP Tweeted the following . . . quote, "Many people have said I'm the world’s greatest writer of 140 character sentences." And the Internet lit him up. Here's just a small sample of the responses he got his twitter ass handed to him. "Many people have been wrong before."…"Name one that's not your daughter."…"They are stupid."…"Many people also snort heroin and commit unnatural acts with barnyard animals. What's your point?"…"The voices in your head don't count, Donald."…"Those people are, of course, dead inside."…"Did they say that BEFORE or AFTER U signed their paycheck?"…"Actually laughing out loud."…"Were you hacked?"
New music out today… Lowborn by Anberlin. This is the band's final album….Heaven & Earth by Yes
Jimmy Fallon has The Rock …Seth Meyers has Kate…Letterman… Ricky Gervais …Jimmy Kimmel has John Stamos
Selena Gomez is 22.
Tim Brown is 48.
Shawn Michaelsis 49.
David Spade is 50.
John Leguizamo is 50.
Willem Dafoe is 59.
Albert Brooks is 67.
Don Henley is 67.
Danny Glover is 68.
George Clinton of Parliament Funkadelic is 73.
Alex Trebek is 74.
BOB DOLE is 91.
Today’s birthday girl has had her tube filled more than Hurricane Harbor during a heat wave…in 311 fine films including:
· Need For Seed Volume 4
· Bathroom Ballers
· Innocent Until Proven Filthy Volume 3
· Broke Down Bitches Volume 5
· Tiger’s Got Wood
· Cheeks and Thongs Up In Stroke
· Whitezilla Is A Mother Effer
· Yummy In My Tummy Volume 2
· And who could forget her unforgettable role in…It’s OK, She’s Only My Mother-In-Law
DIANA DOLL is 38 YEARS OLD