Crap on Celebrities
THURSDAY'S CRAP ON CELEBRITIES
Someone posted what MIGHT be topless cell phone pictures of SELENA GOMEZ. The woman's face is only visible from the mouth down, so there's no way to tell if it's really her . . . but it looks like it COULD be. Most importantly, Selena's infamous CHEST MOLES seem to be in the right places. For the record, Selena's rep says this is NOT her. JEFF'S A CREEP...AND HERE'S THE LINK
The journalists at TMZ.com told us there were a SLEW of FCC complaints over the MILEY CYRUS concert special that ran on NBC over July 4th weekend. But it turns out there were a grand total of FOUR. One of those complaints WAS about Abraham Lincoln, though. A viewer said, quote, "As she grinded along there was a costumed performer depicting President Lincoln following behind her and alongside her and the character acted quite lecherous even patting her on the backside. Very patriotic for the 4th ya think?"
"Vanity Fair" dropped its International Best-Dressed list yesterday, and it might come as a shock to you that PHARRELL WILLIAMS and his GIANT HATS made the cut. Maybe it's not all that surprising, since he got SO much press for those hats. But still . . . did he really deserve best-dressed honors? And let's be honest: Even though Vanity Fair won't say they chose him specifically for the hats . . . they chose him specifically for the hats. Other guys who made this year's list include Neil Patrick Harris, Benedict Cumberbatch, and New York Giants receiver Victor Cruz. This year's women include Emma Watson
Before ANNETTE BENING locked him down in 1992, WARREN BEATTY had ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER HIS GROIN. It did what it wanted, when it wanted to. And according to a new book called "Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America", his BOOTY COUNT is an astounding 12,755. That's the equivalent of one woman a day for 35 YEARS. Warren's HIT IT LIST includes Joan Collins, Madonna, Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, Diane Sawyer, Diana Ross, Raquel Welch, Carly Simon, Elle Macpherson and Kate Jackson from "Charlie's Angels". To name a few. As impressive as that list is, it represents LESS THAN ONE-TENTH OF A PERCENT of his overall total.
Kanye believes that celebrities dealing with the paparazzi go through EXACTLY what blacks did during the Civil Rights movement. This spewed forth from Kanye's pie hole during a deposition in the lawsuit he's facing from a paparazzi he roughed up at an airport. Kanye said, quote, "In the '60s people used to hold up 'Die [N-word]' signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also." Asked if he was equating the two things, he said, quote, "I equate it to discrimination. I equate it to inequalities." He also referred to celebrities as, quote, "a group of minorities here in L.A." He also expressed his fear that his daughter North will be KILLED BY A DRONE. Would it electrocute her? "Could it fall and hit her if that paparazzi doesn't understand how to remote control the drone over their house?" Meanwhile . . . Kanye and KIM KARDASHIAN are reportedly buying a $20 million house in Hidden Hills. It's pretty secluded, but it probably IS accessible by drone.
Each season the big announcement of who will be lipsyncing at halftime of the Superbowl is criticized and analyzed right? So this year the people are speaking and they are saying give us Weird AL…well they are trying atleast. There's a new petition on Change.org, asking that "Weird Al" headline this year's Super Bowl halftime show. It has over 43,000 signatures. So, what would it be like if Weird Al did get the gig? Well, the petition floats this BRILLIANT idea: Have the people whose songs Al is parodying actually join him onstage. There would be a lot of enticing options. His new album, "Mandatory Fun", parodies Lorde, Iggy Azalea, Imagine Dragons and Robin Thicke.
Jimmy Fallon has Will Arnett …Seth Meyers has Michael Fassbender…Letterman has Jason Segel and Liv Tyler…Kimmel has Mickey Rourke
Mike Trout is 23. Angels outfielder who's the best all-around player in baseball today.
Samantha Ronson is 37. DJ who's best known for clambaking with Lindsay Lohan.
CHARLIZE THERON is 39.
Michael Shannon is 40 General Zod in "Man of Steel".
David Duchovny is 54.
Bruce Dickinson is 56. Lead singer for Iron Maiden.
Wayne Knight is 59.
Jenny Craig is 82
Today’s birthday girl has ran more trains that Amtrack …in 94 fine films including:
· ANAL DISCIPLES VOLUME 2: THE ANAL CONFLICT
· ANALTOWN USA VOLUME 12
· FANNY FARM
· The SWEET SMELL OF EXCESS
· The TRUE HISTORY OF FASHION SLUTS
· TAKIN’ IT TO THE LIMIT VOLUME 8
· ANAL ISLAND VOLUMES 1 & 2
· And who could forget…her unforgettable role in….EFF YOU!
· NIKKI BRANTZ is 37 YEARS OLD