Bitch Be Trippin'
BITCHES-BE-TRIPPIN: GUY MESSES WITH TWO WOMEN TRYING TO STEAL HIS BEACH UMBRELLA
Two women casually, though clumsily, trying to steal another beachgoer's canopy on a Florida beach were caught red-handed on July 4 by the owner.
The bumbling thieves may find it difficult to commit any more thefts since video the canopy's owner took of the bizarre confrontation has gone viral.BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN
Check it out:
BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN: DRUNKEN WOMAN RIDES HORSE TO ROB STORE
Nothing says CLASSY like a lovely evening of cheap beer and committin' crimes.45-year-old Christine Saunders of Fyffe, Alabama spent the Saturday of her July 4th weekend doing what REAL Americans do . . . she got drunk on Keystone Light. Then she wanted to go to the store to get some stuff, but she didn't have a way of getting there . . . or any money to buy anything. So she STOLE someone's horse . . . rode it to the store, drinking more Keystone Light the entire way . . . and shoplifted stuff from the store. Luckily cops caught her in the act. The horse's owners decided not to press charges and the shoplifting charges are still pending . . . so for now, Christine is looking at charges for public intoxication and illegal possession of a prohibited beverage.BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN
BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN: AN ASPIRING MODEL WHO FLASHED HER LADY PARTS AT THE GUARDS
In the past couple weeks, the Internet went nuts over a guy in California who looked super HOT in his mugshot. He even got a modeling deal out of it. Translation: A sexy mugshot can launch your career. 29-year-old Devan Serpa of Morgan City, Louisiana is an aspiring model . . . and she ALSO just took a pretty good mugshot. It actually looks better than her modeling photo we found online. She's also clearly radiating with SEXUAL HUNGER. Devan was arrested on Thursday because she's connected to a shooting last month. No one was injured, but two cars were shot. It's not clear if Devan was the shooter or was just on the scene. Anyway, when the cops took her to jail, she took a good-looking mugshot . . . and a few minutes later, EXPOSED her LADY PARTS to one of the male guards. She was already looking at charges for aggravated criminal damage to property and illegal use of a weapon . . . but the junk flash also got her an obscenity charge.BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN
BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN: A DRUNK DRIVER REFUSES TO TAKE A BREATHALYZER TEST...BECAUSE SHE'S "TOO BUSY DRINKING"
This PROBABLY isn't the best excuse to avoid a breathalyzer test. In fact . . . it might be the DUMBEST.A woman was driving drunk in Manchester, England around 12:45 P.M. on Sunday and got into a three-car accident. Then she fled the scene. But the cops tracked her down nearby . . . at a PUB. And when they asked her to come out to take a breathalyzer test, she told them no . . . because she was, quote, "too busy drinking." That was just as good as a breathalyzer . . . she was arrested for drunk driving and leaving the scene.BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN
BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN: DRIVER PLOWS INTO MEN IN PARKING LOT
The surveillance cameras were rolling outside the Fuel Depot gas station in the 11500 block of Bissonnet when a driver hit two men and kept going. "When I turned around it was a lady coming full speed to take us out," said Marcus Chukuwuu, one of the men who was hit. "She took off. (She) hit us both and just kept going." Chukuwuu told Local 2 he and his boss stopped at the gas station to fill up after work. They were standing at one pump when a female driver tried backing into the space next to them. The video shows she came close to men, and they said they thought she was going to hit them. So one of the men told her to be careful. "He was like, 'Don't kill me.' And she was like, 'If I wanted to kill you I'd shoot you, I won't run you over,'" Chukuwuu said. The woman was mad, Chukuwuu said, and her comment scared him. So the 21-year-old walked away and went inside the store to get some change. He came out less than one minute later and that's when the two men were hit. "I walked across to give him the change and that's when she just ran both of us over," Chukuwuu said. The driver didn't stop and police are now looking for her.They said she's driving a silver or gray, older model Buick, with a broken-out back driver's side window. It appears from the surveillance video she may have had a passenger in the front seat with her. Chukuwuu and his boss were both taken to the hospital with cuts and bruises. They're going to be OK but are hoping police find the driver so she can face charges.BITCH-BE-TRIPPIN
PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN: A GUY THROWS A BOOT AT HIS GIRLFRIEND WHEN SHE INTERUPTS HIM WATCHING TRANSGENDER PORN
32-year-old Geraldo Rodriguez of Port St. Lucie is clearly a big fan of PORNOGRAPHY . . . enough of a fan that he's happy to let it end an actual relationship with a real life human being. Geraldo was home watching porn a few weeks ago when his girlfriend interrupted him. And he was furious. Then he got even MORE furious when she saw he was watching TRANSGENDER PORN . . . because she said it meant he was gay. We're not going to comment on her theory . . . but she said it, and it set him off. So Geraldo ended up throwing a BOOT at her. She says he also slapped her, but he denies it. And the boot was enough to land a misdemeanor battery charge. There's no word if Geraldo and his girlfriend are still together. PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN
PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN: DAD GIVES 11 YEAR OLD GUN TO PROTECT HERSELF AT THE POOL
John Ruiz, of Albuquerque, New Mexico, really wanted to leave his 11-year-old daughter home alone so he could run out and get a tattoo on his head real quick. Most parents would just realize an 11-year-old was competent enough to take care of herself for a few hours. Not this one! He decided it would be a great idea to leave a loaded pistol with her for “protection.” She took his words to heart, and carried the gun with her to her local pool. You can just never be too safe, after all. Especially when your father is a paranoid gun ownerwho instructs you to use a loaded weapon to protect yourself. Ruiz has been charged with child endangerment. A nervous neighbor called officers after spotting the girl carrying the weapon around at the swimming pool in the complex where they lived. ”You never know what could happen if that gun would’ve gone off,” the neighbor said. The girl told investigators her dad usually keeps his gun on the counter or under his pillow “in case someone breaks in.” Ruiz left his daughter alone to go get a tattoo on his head. The tattoo reads, “In God I Trust.” Hmm. If you trust God so much, why leave your 11-year-old with a loaded gun? During the day. Which she in turn brought to the pool. I have no words for this brand of stupid. Ruiz was released after posting the $15,000 bond. Ruiz told reporters outside the courthouse, ”I made a mistake that I left a weapon unlocked.” Yeah – you also told your daughter to use it. No words. “You guys don’t know about harassment or anything else,” Ruiz told KOB TV. “We’re good people, I don’t know what to tell you. I made a mistake, that’s it. Ruiz claims the 11-year-old knows how to use the gun and he tells her not to take it from the house. Only this wasn’t the first time she took the loaded gun out of the house – and he knew that. PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN
PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN: A GUY IS FIRED BY CHICK-FIL-A...SO HE ROBS A KFC
50-year-old Jeffrey Coley of Rock Hill, South Carolina was an employee at Chick-fil-A . . . but he skipped work two days in a row last week and they fired him. So he took out his anger against Chick-fil-A by . . . robbing a KFC. He went through the KFC drive-thru, pulled a gun on the cashier, and got $516. The police tracked him down and arrested him on Tuesday. They found the cash from KFC in his car. He's been charged with armed robbery, possession of a gun during a violent crime, and meth possession. PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN
PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN: INMATE ATTACKS COPS WITH PEE AND POO
A St. Clair County Jail inmate already charged with murder is now accused of attacking three correctional officers with his own bodily fluids. Ronnie Gulley Jr., 22, is charged with four counts of aggravated battery against an officer. St. Clair County Sheriff Rick Watson says Gully hung up a blanket inside his cell so that officers could not see him. Gully allegedly did not comply with officer’s request to take down the blanket, forcing the officers to enter the cell. Watson said when the officers entered, Gully threw a mixture of urine and feces at them. According to police, Gulley then punched a third officer in the face twice. Watson told News 4 the jail is overcrowded and is poorly configured, which he believes makes things difficult for guards. “In order to visually inspect every 30 minutes, they have to walk these narrow hallways and these confrontations can happen,” Watson said. In a newer system, they have a pod where from a central location, you can inspect possibly hundreds of prisoners.” Watson believes a new jail would prevent such a problem. He urged voters to support a measure that would have raised funds for a new facility, but it was voted down. PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN
PRICK-BE-TRIPPIN: MAN KILLS GRANDMA AND DRIVES AROUND WITH HER FOR HOURS
A central Florida teen is accused of killing his elderly grandmother in her home at a nudist colony and then driving around with her dead body in a minivan for nearly five yours. Brandon Machetto, 18, had been living with his grandmother, 74-year-old Sylvia Schmitt, for the past several weeks at the Paradise Lakes nudist community and they apparently fought frequently, said Pasco County sheriff’s spokeswoman Melanie Snow. A neighbor called 9-1-1 after seeing Machetto drag a wrapped bag with feet dangling out into his grandmother’s minivan early Monday, according to the sheriff’s office. Machetto allegedly drove around with his grandmother’s body in the back and when deputies tried to pull him over, he reportedly refused to stop. He eventually drove back to the Paradise Lakes where he was arrested. Machetto was charged with first-degree murder and is being held in jail without bond. Ronnie Hall, Machetto’s martial arts instructor for seven years, said Machetto nearly died a few years ago when he was attacked by a group of teens who hit him in the back of the head with a rock, according to the Tampa Bay Times. He added that Machetto, who had suffered a brain injury, was not aggressive. The frequent fights between Machetto and his grandmother were over her trying to get him to take his medication. Deputies said Machetto had been accused of domestic violence against Schmitt in 2012, but she dropped the charge.