The Woody and Rizzuto Blog

WAR 3-11-10
Posted 3/11/2010 6:20:00 AM
HERE IS WHAT YOU CAN FIND ON TODAY'S BLOG:

- FAIL STORIES

- IDIOT GAME SHOW CONTESTANTS IN THE NEWS

- CLUELESS PREGGO HEADLINE HOOSHE

- THAT SUCKS STORIES!

- SEXY TIME FUN FACTS: WE OPEN THE SEXUAL CONFESSIONAL!

DA MORNING NEWS:
Poice are looking for someone in Riz's homestate of Jersey who is covering the lamp posts and the tree branches with sweaters.  Yes - sweaters.  REALLY?!
 
AB has filed a copyright infringement against a company called Baby Beer Bottles Inc.  Check out this bottle made to look like a beer bottle.
 
FAIL STORIES:
49 year old NYC Life Coach and author of 20+ self help books is suing her ex-fiance after he left her...oh - by the way - she's pregnant.  Wait - aren't you supposed to give GOOD advice about life.
 
California woman holds up 11 people at a store - she holds up 10 of them and demands money from another person entering the store ... what was her overall haul? $6.00.  BIG SPENDERS!
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Last month in L.A - a guy was sentenced to death.  Why is this newsworthy?  This dude was a contestant on The Dating Game back in the day.  He was bachelor number one.  That was his DEFENSE in his trial.  HIS DEFENSE WAS A CLIP FOR A GOD DAMN DATING SHOW!  He made it on a show - and won - after he was busted for raping an 8-year old.
 
RIZ'S FAVORITE CLIP:  BAD NAME ON LOVE CONNECTION:
 
The cops approached a driver in Kansas City - who was sitting in his car with a bleeding head.  The cops asked him what was going on and he said he got his ass beat because he used Monopoly money to try and by some drugs!

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Nomar Garciaparra was briefly a member of the Boston Red Sox again yesterday, six years after the shortstop was traded away. He signed a one day contract so he could retire with his original team. The 36-year-old Garciaparra is leaving baseball to become an ESPN analyst, ending a 14-year career in which he was the 1997 AL Rookie of the Year, a two-time batting champion and a six-time All-Star.

The stick and glove that Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby was using when he scored the overtime goal that gave Canada the hockey gold medal at the Vancouver Winter Olympics last month have been found. Hockey Canada said the gear had been misplaced, not stolen. Crosby's stick was located in Toronto as part of a shipment heading to the International Ice Hockey Federation Hall of Fame in Russia. The missing glove had been inadvertently placed in the equipment bag of Patrice Bergeron of the Boston Bruins, Crosby's Team Canada teammate who sat next to him in the dressing room.

The Blues continue their road trip today after an extended break. They head to the New York to take on the Islanders tonight at 6PM

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Corey Haim died yesterday morning of a "accidental" overdose. The drugs that he overdosed on are all believed to be prescription drugs.  No out of the ordinary drugs.  At some point of his life - he was thought to be taking 87 valium A DAY!
 
Jay Leno numbers?  Not as great as they thought.  The "newness" of Leno's return is fading away very quickly.  Seems like when Leno left - Letterman picked up some new followers.
 
Betty White will be HOSTING the May 8th episode of Saturday Night Live! Kickin' it SNL with the Golden Girls.
 
The hit Fox show 24 MAY BE GETTING CANCELLED.  The show is tanking this year and it may not get renewed for another season.  Crazy!  What happened Jack Bauer?
 
Jersey Shore for Season 2 is rumored to be relocated to Miami.  What the hell for?  JERSEY SHORE ... IN MIAMI! Doesn't make much sense right?
 
LATE NIGHT TV:
David Letterman: Donald Trump, John Hiatt
Jay Leno: Dana Carvey, Kim Kardashian, Colbie Caillat
Jimmy Kimmel: Nicole Richie, Gin Wigmore
Craig Ferguson: Lisa Kudrow, Ryan Bingham
Jimmy Fallon: Michael Moore, Chris Hardwick, Broken Bells
Carson Daly: Lake Bell, Jennie Ketcham, David Gray
 
CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
News correspondent Sam Donaldson is 76.
Singer-keyboardist Mark Stein of Vanilla Fudge is 63.
Singer Bobby McFerrin is 60.
Actress Susan Richardson (Eight Is Enough) is 58.
Country singer Jimmy Fortune of the Statler Brothers is 55.
Singer Nina Hagen is 55.
Singer Cheryl Lynn is 53.
Actor Jeffrey Nordling (24) is 48.
Actress Alex Kingston is 47.
Actor Wallace Langham is 45.
Singer Lisa Loeb is 42.
Singer Pete Droge is 41.
Actor Terrence Howard is 41.
Keyboardist Rami Jaffee (The Wallflowers) is 41.
Actor Johnny Knoxville is 39.
Singers Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte are 31.
Actor David Anders (Alias) is 29.
Singer LeToya Luckett (Destiny's Child) is 29.
Actress Thora Birch (Ghost World,American Beauty) is 28.
 
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Nina Hartley -51- this mattress actress has left NOTHING to the imagination in 835  fine films including: Ooze, Anal Annie and the Backdoor Housewives, Dy-nasty, Buns N Roses, Hump Up the Volume, I Cream of Jeanie, and Who Shaved Lynn Lemay?

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"I can't get over you being pregnant. I can't get over your having a baby." Kelly Bottom says she thought her stomach was hurting, so she went to her bathroom. "I realized it was more than just pains. So then I laid on the floor and I had him. Two pushes and I had him." He is Brian Sims, now five days old. "I knew I had to cut the umbilical cord and I was trying to clean myself up, and then he had to get out of school and I had to go get him." He is James Sims, age seven, who says he nearly passed out when his mother came to pick him up with a newborn in her car.  Kelly says she knows some people won't understand how she didn't realize she was pregnant until it was time to deliver. "I lost a bunch of weight and I thought I was gaining all that back."

THAT SUCKS!
The Desarmes family left their native Haiti after the devastating Jan. 12 earthquake, joining a son in Chile for what seemed a refuge from the fear and chaos of Port-au-Prince. Their sense of security lasted barely a month. It was shattered Saturday when one of the most powerful quakes on record shook a swath of Chile.
 
Robert Hatter may never want to step into another chicken costume again after what happened to him this afternoon. He was helping promote a local hamburger restaurant -- dressed in a chicken costume -- when he became the victim of a drive-by shooting. "I thought it'd be kind of neat to be in a cow outfit, but I'm too fat couldn't get in a cow outfit," Hatter quipped. A man leaned out and fired two shots. "As he faced me, he pulled his shirt up, then *pop* *pop* and kept going! They didn't even slow down."Hatter was shot in the thigh by a pellet gun.
 
What began as a beautiful day with some dreams finally fulfilled ended in tragedy with so much left undone.Crystal Rock resident Deborah McDonald, 47, spent her last day with people she loved, celebrating the $5,520 check she'd received that day in the mail after winning $8,000 in the Ohio Lottery Cash Explosion Double Play. But the excitement was cut short Tuesday evening when a 2003 Chevrolet Impala struck Deborah as she walked along U.S. 6 after a night out at a nearby bar. She died instantly, officials said, leaving behind six children.

 
A South Florida man is suing his doctor after complications from a penile implant surgery caused him to lose his penis.  It all began when 62-year-old Enrique Milla, a married man of 25 years, went to a doctor to discuss his sexual dysfunction. After consulting with an urologist, Milla decided to have a penile implant. It became infected - and they had to remove it.

SEXY TIME FUN FACTS: SEXUAL CONFESSIONAL
HERE IS THE AUDIO FROM TODAY'S SEXY TIME FUN FACTS -
 
MORE FUN SEX FACTS:
1. The odds a woman has had sex on a first date are 1 in 6
2. The odds a man has ever paid for or been paid for sex are 1 in 6
3. The odds the most recent sexual encounter of a man between lasted less than one minute are 1 in 9.
4. The odds a male has ever had anal sex with a female are 1 in 3
5. The odds a male  has ever had any sexual contact with a male are 1 in 17
6. The odds a married man has ever had an extramarital sexual partner are 1 in 4
7. The odds a male between used a condom during his last sexual encounter are 1 in 3
8. The odds a male has had 15 or more female sexual partners in his lifetime are 1 in 4
9. The odds a male has had no female sexual partners in his lifetime are 1 in 10
10. The odds a man  will visit a pornographic Web site at least once in a month are 1 in 3


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Posted By: Tony P  
Comments:
WTF is thar soccer video about?
Posted By Doll3r On 3/11/2010 7:27:57 PM
was the word of the day "gobbler"
Posted By Ryan On 3/11/2010 1:36:04 PM
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